WHY!

[Andrew Fergus]

Guilty as charged.....

 

[Greg Truby]

Those who know me know that I just hate keeping a lounge thread "on track" this many posts in a row! But here's some feedback on how to conduct yourself in the gym. <ul>[*]Lift with good form.[/list]That's it. That's all you need worry about. You're a chick. Guys expect to be able to lift more than you! Indeed, it can be a bit of a blow to their ego when a girl can outlift them. Generally speaking that's seldom an issue on upper body work. Men have a natural advantage. The playing field is a lot leveler on isolation leg moves like hack squats, leg presses and leg extensions. I'm not saying there are not women who can bench and curl some impressive weights, but these gals are rare and they know who they are, and you do not sound like one of them.

So back to you. Focus on good form. Do not worry about how much weight you lift compared to other people. Worry only about how much weight you are lifting compared to yourself over time. Are you improving on the number of reps? On the pounds your lifting? I can squat some serious weight. But the other day a guy that was obviously a powerlifter waltzed in and put me to shame! If I worried about how much I did compared to everyone else that would depress me. But instead, it motivated me. I went up and talked to the guy and learned some tips. Turned out he competes in strongman competitions and had been squatting seriously for over ten years. In the end, rather than seeing the guy as a "competitor" (whom I could never hope to best anyway), I made a friend from whom I could learn. So make friends with other women at the gym. Make friends with old farts like me. Don't spend all your gym time chatting (and, please, never sit on a piece of equipment and chat away while not using it). But there's no reason not to at least be amiable.

I've also been itchin' to add a bit to what Paul (hatman) and I touched on earlier. You need to find that happy area in the middle where you are focussing you workouts and diet on healthy body image objectives. I'm also not going to gloss over the fact that looks do count for something in this world. People are going to make some assumptions about you based on your appearance. But if you have good hygiene, dress well and are in good physical condition, those assumptions are going to be positive. Furthermore, in our junk-food laden society - unless your highly ectomorphic - it takes a pretty high level of self-discipline to maintain a good figure; whether you're a man or woman. Going to the gym or regularly participating in some other sport that keeps you fit means that you have good habits & self-discipline and it's something other people do pick up on and a characteristic the attribute to you, whether they realize it or not. Furthermore - you know the discipline it takes and this begins to shine through and that begins to impact other areas of your life.

So, if you don't feel like you can ask to work in on a machine with this guy you've been eying; OK. Personally, I thought that was good advice. If the guy starts chatting with you as a result, hey, you're off and going. If he just politely shares the equipment with you and that's it; then maybe he's already in a relationship, maybe he just isn't interested or maybe he's shy too. Your challenge will be to suss out which; but at least you broke the ice. And if he's rude or rolls his eyes about you working in, well now you know that you wouldn't want to go out with him anyway!

And best of luck with your Excel class. We've noticed that you're getting some help in the questions forum. We're always glad to help anyone that's working his or her tail off trying to learn Excel and having a spot of trouble.

 

[Richard Schollar]

Make friends with old farts like me
~Greg Truby

older people do often provide a more measured and sensible outlook. Experience in life counts for a lot.

 

[NateO]

Hello again,

Anyways, I don't plan on getting married until I am 30, so its pointless to date now.

Erm... I don't think love and marriage works this way... It's possible that I used to, but a couple of of Stevie Wonder songs, 'As' and 'All I Do', confirm my current thinking on the matter... Check out the following snippets, from Mr. Wonder's 'As':

Just as time knew to move on since the beginning
And the seasons know exactly when to change
Just as kindness knows no shame
Know through all your joy and pain
That I'll be loving you always
{snip}

I'll be loving you!!
Until the rainbow burns the stars out in the sky -- Loving you
Until the ocean covers every mountain high -- Loving you
Until the dolphin flies and parrots live at sea -- Loving you
Until we dream of life and life becomes a dream -- Be loving you
Until the day is night and night becomes the day -- Loving you
Until the trees and seas just up and fly away -- Loving you
Until the day that 8 times 8 times 8 is 4 -- Loving you
Until the day that is the day that are no more -- Loving you
Until the day the earth starts turning right to left -- Be loving you
Until the earth just for the sun denies itself -- Loving you
Until dear Mother Nature says her work is through -- Loving you
Until the day that you are me and I am you -- Now ain't that loving you
{snip}

Note:

1) There's nothing in there about age. This is timeless, and not conscious, just as the seasons know when to change.
2) He's absolutely belting this out, like he really means it!

If you feel the need to belt out something along these lines about someone else, on an ongoing basis, I suggest you seal the deal. And if not, think twice, irrespective as to whether you're 24 or 42.

Also, you should become friends with more guys, they will point out the winners and losers.

 

[hatman]

Another thing to consider about the timing, and whether you want to date before you are ready for a lifetime commitment:

Dating hepls you to gain experience. Period. Interacting with other people helps you to form an image of what you are looking for... after getting the messy end of the stick, you know to avoid someone with a specific trait... and when some aspect of someone's personality works well with you, you know to look for that in others. It's the same with friendship.

My wife and I have known each other since the 4th grade... 22 years come this January. We never dated until 4 years ago... and everything that has happened since then has confirmed 2 things: 1)We are a perfect match... we fulfill all the things in each other that we need AND want... 2) if we had started dating 10 years ago, before we both went through the pain and expense of several destructive relationships, we would have killed each other. That's right: 10 years ago, we were different people, unable to appreciate what the other had to offer. I would live through the pain and suffering (and the emergency room visits, and everything else) all over again, if I knew that Kelley would be waiting for me on the other side. Those experiences made me who I am today, and without them, I would not be able to look my wife in th eyes every day and say THANK YOU. I would not be able to appreciate how well she fits me... she might not fit me as well as she does if I had not gone through that other stuff.

Something to think about.

 

[Jon von der Heyden]

Make friends with old farts like me
~Greg Truby

older people do often provide a more measured and sensible outlook. Experience in life counts for a lot.

Hence why I enjoy our occassion drink so much! To learn from such a knowledgable old man such as yourself! Ha ha!

Keeping in line with Blondies thread. Do what I do, forget the boys and chase the girls instead!

Edit: woz meant to be old!!!

 

[Richard Schollar]

Hence why I enjoy our occassion drink so much! To learn from such a knowledgable man such as yourself! Ha ha!

Then it's a shame your sense of humour hasn't undergone improvement at the same time, you young whipper-snapper!

 

[blondiechick]

Greg:
How do I know if i am lifting with good form? lol. I will never be that girl who will lift impressive weights! I HATE squats.... I will never do them ever again. I try and focus on the pounds I lift rather than the reps. Usually; I do the max amount of reps someone told me is best for that exercise.

I am trying to get away from the junk foods. Mostly soda, soda is so baad. I may have one every now and then. I usually have a half of a candy bar every day. Someone told me you need fat calories- so that is where I get that from. Plus, chocolate is good for you- so they say! I never saw going to the gym means that someone has self-discipline. I would never think I had self-discipline. I guess I have a lil touch of it.

I don't think I am going to bother speaking to this guy. He probably is in a relationship. I finally decided that I do not want to date anyone until I graduate from college. It probably is going to be hard, but my brother did it. Usually, I am listening to my music, so I can’t hear anyone or speak to anyone. I asked this one guy who I liked a month ago, if he wanted to work out with me, and he said no. So, that was the end of asking people something useless.

Thanks so much for the luck! I just hope I get a B in it. Usually I get A's in my classes. A B in the class will be awesome. You guys are so nice helping people. When do you have the time?

hatman:
In the back of my mind I am always thinking.. what if I dated my ex at the wrong time? What if I were to get back with him in so many years... would that work? I am so stupid like that. My friend said not to even think like that, because it wouldn’t have worked out since it didn’t when we were dating.

Everyone says that everything will fall into place. But, I am not that type of person, I guess I am not a believer. I am one of those people who needs to see it in order to be like yeah, that is right! Dating does help with looking for that one person.... but the ending sucks and is horrible. I don’t know why I care so much in finding that one guy. My mind is stupid! I can never think in the moment, it’s always about the future I am looking at.


Thanks for the replies

 

[blondiechick]

Make friends with old farts like me
~Greg Truby

older people do often provide a more measured and sensible outlook. Experience in life counts for a lot.

Hence why I enjoy our occassion drink so much! To learn from such a knowledgable old man such as yourself! Ha ha!

Keeping in line with Blondies thread. Do what I do, forget the boys and chase the girls instead!

Edit: woz meant to be old!!!

I wish the boys did chase the girls! But, my friend always says, the girl chooses the boy. Usually, that is a bad idea, because girls like bad guys who are useless in every way.

 

[Todd Bardoni]

You speak so harshly of everything...I just can't get past it. phrases like "my mind is stupid" and "I am stupid like that" your use iof the word "useless"...all shows much anger toward yourself and life in general.

Don't mean to keep pointing it out, but it's stands out so much. Maybe you need to be aware of how you communicate and soften your language up a bit so as to not scare people off...