Hey Bianca - I'll take a stab at some of your questions.
(First I have a few)
Question 1: At the gym you go to, do you have access to a personal trainer or someone who can measure your bodyfat percentage? Taking a weekly measurement of your weight and bodyfat percentage are very useful in indicating how your body is changing, where you are now, and will give direction on what changes in your workout or nutrition should be made.
Question 2: Have you taken a quick snapshot log of what you eat on an average day? Both in calories and percentages of Protein, Carbs, and Fat?
Question 3: I posted a quick formula for TDEE above (one is for women, another for men). What do you think you're burning in an average day based on that? Anyway back on track
But, in order to gain muscle, do you have to lose weight first? this has always been a question of mine.
Actually to gain lean muscle well you really need to be an a calorie surplus. If you're losing about 1 lb of weight each week then you're definately in a calorie deficit. That's not good or bad, mind you - that's just a snapshot of where you are.
Since a calorie deficit is needed to effectively lose fat (and a calorie surplus is needed to effectively gain muscle) many people take a "flip-flop" approach between the two strategies over time. Like you, I'm in a "calorie deficit" mode. In January I'll switch to a "calorie surplus" mode to gain muscle mass. The problem: it's freakin' hard to gain muscle. Really hard. It means a bigger focus on the gym and a somewhat less focus on cardio. In a surplus mode, usually you'll gain some muscle and some fat. Then, when you're ready to go into a deficit mode again, you burn off the fat. After a few months of that, I'll move to a calorie deficit again to burn off whatever fat I gained (and hopefully that will prep me to burn even more)
Whether you want to start in a calorie deficit mode or surplus is really a matter of preference - there are advantages to both. Since you're losing weight now, you could keep it going if you want to trim down faster in the short term. On the other hand, gaining muscle now would drastically boost up your metabolism - making it easier to burn off even more fat pounds later. Both approaches used collectively work well to bring your bodyfat% down and give you some great tone.
yeah. i been trying to have 6 meals a day. somedays, i don't even reach 4, because i dont feel like eating. in my mind, i want to starve myself, so somedays are just like dreadful.
You might want to try to work a 5 meal day kind of thing. In one article I read that was what was advised for women - simply due to the fact that women generally take in less calories. Definately don't starve yourself in any case - that's only going to give short term results that you'll regain later. You should never ever feel hungry! You should check your daily calorie intake and compare it to your TDEE - from the sounds of things you might not eating enough.
Each week, it seems that i am losing 1 pound. so i guess that is good that i am not losing anything more! but like i said, i wish i could gain weight, so it will be muscle. how long will that take for that to take effect?
This is where the bodyfat % measurements are useful. There are several ways to measure bodyfat% - the usual (cheap/easiest) is the caliper (skin-fold) method. There's also a cheap hand-held device thingie (my technical term) you can use that sends a quick electric pulse through your upper body to estimate it. Neither are perfect - but they're sufficient in that you can use the numbers to trend where your lean mass and fat mass is going.
If you're immediate goal is to gain some strength and musle mass - go with a calorie surplus (you may want to slowly work up to it though depending on your current intake now) and take a more aggressive lifting program (like 3 full-body workouts with a day of rest between them). You'd gain weight, and the bodyfat numbers would tell you how much of it is fat or lean muscle. When you're bored with it a month or two later, switch to a deficit mode.
Now if you're going for "tone" and not really strength- you won't really get it until you go back into the deficit mode and reduce your bodyfat percentage. Again - this falls back to personal preference but using both methods alternating works very well to break plateaus.
I need to get more protein every day. usually, i dont meet the 40% range!
Another good rule of thumb kind of thing is 1g of protein per lb of lean muscle mass. That can frequently fall under the 40% mark depending.
When i work out, will my upper chest size decrease? someone told me this, and i kinda freaked out. i don't want to end up having a flat chest.
Fat loss will be in proportion with the rest of your body - so actually you have nothing to worry about there. It's only when you reach the ultra-low end of the bodyfat% scale where the chest would start to flatten out (and you'd see it coming a mile away).
Anyway hope that's useful! (sorry if that got a bit long)
Adam