How not to eat with your hands

[Snakehips]

Over here in the UK, when Joe Average is missing a suitable ensemble of eating utensils he's most likely to ask for 'some cutlery'.

If Joe's a bit on the rough side of average then he might well ask for 'some eating irons'.

By the way, the last time I had steak in South Africa I had to ask them to take it back and stop it mooing!
Even when they brought it back it still needed a tourniquet to stop the blood making my chips soggy!

 

[Smitty]

By the way, the last time I had steak in South Africa I had to ask them to take it back and stop it mooing!
Even when they brought it back it still needed a tourniquet to stop the blood making my chips soggy!

I had one like that in Madrid a few years ago. Now I'm a rare/medium-rare kind of guy, but this thing didn't even have sear marks on it.

 

[SydneyGeek]

I like my steak pretty rare. Needs to be sealed on the outide though.
And I ask for cutlery if it's missing. Or, I look on the other side of the plate (I'm left handed, and the knife is always on the wrong side. Don't get me started on which side plate is yours...)

Denis

 

[Snakehips]

Denis,

As a 'leftie' and therefore a child of the devil, do you not carry a fork with you at all times?

Also, with me being from the 'eating irons' level of society, could you please clarify……….. what exactly is a side plate?

 

[MARK858]

Also, with me being from the 'eating irons' level of society, could you please clarify……….. what exactly is a side plate?

It's the one they stick your bread roll on

 

[Snakehips]

It's the one they stick your bread roll on :wink:

Bread Roll ? ……….. I'm assuming that you mean a 'batch'?

In my neck of the woods if you go into a supermarket or bakery and ask for a 'batch', you get a bread roll.

If you stray too far home and go into a supermarket or bakery and ask for a 'batch', you get a blank / quizzical looks!!!

Then, when you point your finger at the bread rolls, depending upon which part of the country you are in, they might say…….

"Oh, you mean a 'cob'?" or "Oh, you mean a 'barm'?" or "Oh, you mean a 'bap'?"

It's then your turn for a quizzical look, although you try and disguise it by nodding your head, knowingly.

What do they call a bread roll where you are?

 

[SydneyGeek]

Denis,

As a 'leftie' and therefore a child of the devil, do you not carry a fork with you at all times?

Nah -- if I stick it on my pocket, it hurts to sit down.

Also, with me being from the 'eating irons' level of society, could you please clarify……….. what exactly is a side plate?

A 'side plate' holds your bread / bun / bap / cob / whatever they call it. It also gets in the way of your elbows. And if you take the "wrong" one, some people get a bit snarky.

Of course, if you're at a table with side plates they may also have napkins and wine glasses. More stuff to confuse you with.

Denis

 

[Snakehips]

A 'side plate' holds your bread / bun / bap / cob / whatever they call it. It also gets in the way of your elbows. And if you take the "wrong" one, some people get a bit snarky.

Of course, if you're at a table with side plates they may also have napkins and wine glasses. More stuff to confuse you with.

Denis

I am indeed confused.


However, I do appreciate that it is not appropriate for me to take up further valuable space, on what is essentially a serious forum, in an attempt to gain knowledge that has previously been denied me by my social status. Not only that but I'm beginning to feel somewhat embarrassed by the exposure of my ignorance.


So I will go away, quietly and Google 'napkins' and 'wine glasses' !


It would appear that I may well have fallen asleep during English Language class at school so I will also Google 'snarky' whilst I'm at it.

 

[MARK858]

In Hampshire a bread roll is any type of bread roll.
Batch is a another term sometimes used for a generic soft roll, Cob is a specific shape of a full sized loaf (a round one) but I have heard rolls called it on my travels (so have Wiki (see below)).

Bread roll - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

I'm outta here now B4 anyone starts talking about the correct knifes and spoons to use.

 

[Smitty]

What do they call a bread roll where you are?

If it's what comes out of my wife's "bread maker" we call it a brick.

Seriously though, if it's what you get for sandwiches it's a loaf; hamburgers/hotdogs it's a bun. In a restaurant (where bread comes in a basket covered with a napkin) it's just bread, but then you get a restaurant where something is actually served ON bread, it could be on a roll vs. a bun, in which case the roll is long where the bun is round. But if you have a "dinner roll" it'd be round and about 1/4 the size of a "bun".

Wait, unless you're talking about hotdogs/hamburgers/cheesesteaks, in which case a hotdog comes on a bun, which is long, like a roll (not a dinner roll); a hamburger comes on a bun which is round, and a cheesesteak comes on a roll (generally Sourdough or Kaiser), which is also long.

And don't get started about "Texas Toast"...

And here "cob" generally refers to corn, i.e. "corn cob".