Chuck Norris

[just_jon]

if yew ever wore a strapless top and a bra which has straps

I can honestly say that I have never worn a bra.

Smitty

(Although I've taken off a few. )

Reminds me of that other okd saying - I never went to bed with an ugly woman, but I woke up with a few.

 

[Smitty]

Reminds me of that other okd saying - I never went to bed with an ugly woman, but I woke up with a few.

OUCH!

Reminds me of my best friend, except he woke up with a ring on...I still can't convince him to chew the finger off...

Smitty

 

[XLGibbs]

Reminds me of that other okd saying - I never went to bed with an ugly woman, but I woke up with a few.

OUCH!

Reminds me of my best friend, except he woke up with a ring on...I still can't convince him to chew the finger off...

Smitty

And don't forget the timeless classic...

Why is divorce so expensive?

Because it is worth it.


And another ....a friend asked me if he should get married for the 2nd time. I had no choice but to ask why he wanted to break into jail.

 

[Smitty]

And another ....a friend asked me if he should get married for the 2nd time. I had no choice but to ask why he wanted to break into jail.

Classic! But too true, unfortunately.

Frankly I think I'll stick with wife #2, who is actually wife #1 (after the whole divorce & remarrying thing...)

Smitty

But I broke into a blonde.

(OK, if the evil Scottish wench saw that my a$$ would be kicked! And her Mother's here too!)

Gibbs: I finally saw that "Dumb question--Google" picture and why did you cut out the "mrburns.nl" part?

 

[Von Pookie]

Frankly I think I'll stick with wife #2, who is actually wife #1 (after the whole divorce & remarrying thing...)

When I got married it was the first (hopefully only!) marriage for both of us.


...He introduces me to people as his first wife.

(When people ask who the second wife is, the standard answer is "Jennifer Connelly--but she doesn't know it yet")

 

[Smitty]

My Dad still refers to my Mom as the CW (Current Wife), and they've been married for almost 40 years.

Smitty

 

[Greg Truby]

That's quite an accomplishment for them Smitty. Myself, I've actually been married longer than my dad.

 

[Smitty]

That's quite an accomplishment for them Smitty. Myself, I've actually been married longer than my dad.

I dunno. The reason they're still married:

Because I'm not going to give that B&%$* 1/2 of everything I've spent my life earning!

Not my cup of tea personally, but maybe that's why we don't talk.

Smitty

 

[Greg Truby]

Sorry to hear that. There was an article in this (or last) months Reader's Digest about a couple that fought throughout sixty years of marriage. However in their waning years both were afflicted with dementia and in the final couple of years they became endeared to one another and very caring to each other.

 

[Smitty]

I sure hope they enjoy eachother (not much point otherwise).

In some perverse way I suppose they do.

But as the old man always said: "I'm not on that committee."

Smitty