Here is the list I've seen floating around most recently.
It's for Jack Bauer from 24
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You can lead a horse to water. Jack Bauer can make him drink.
If Jack Bauer was in a room with Hitler, Stalin, and Nina Meyers, and he had a gun with 2 bullets, he'd shoot Nina twice.
If you wake up in the morning, it's because Jack Bauer spared your life.
The real reason the military dropped the ‘Army of One’ campaign? Jack sued for copyright infringement.
Osama bin Laden's recent proposal for truce is a direct result of him finding out that Jack Bauer is, in fact, still alive.
Jack Bauer once forgot where he put his keys. He then spent the next half-hour torturing himself until he gave up the location of the keys.
Jack Bauer was never addicted to heroin. Heroin was addicted to Jack Bauer.
Superman wears Jack Bauer pajamas.
1.6 billion Chinese are angry with Jack Bauer. Sounds like a fair fight.
Jack Bauer doesn't miss. If he didn't hit you it's because he was shooting at another terrorist twelve miles away.
Jack Bauer played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.
Lets get one thing straight, the only reason you are conscious right now is because Jack Bauer does not feel like carrying you.
When life gave Jack Bauer lemons, he used them to kill terrorists. Jack Bauer freaking hates lemonade.
Jack Bauer's favorite color is severe terror alert red. His second favorite color is violet, but just because it sounds like violent.
Jack Bauer is mentioned in the Bible 24 times.
Jack Bauer can get McDonald's breakfast after 10:30.
When you open a can of whoop-***, Jack Bauer jumps out.
Killing Jack Bauer doesn't make him dead. It just makes him angry.
Simon Says should be renamed to Jack Bauer Says because if Jack Bauer says something then you **** well better do it.
If Jack and MacGyver were locked in a room together, Jack would make a bomb out of MacGyver and get out.
On his days off from CTU Jack Bauer helps old ladies cross the road. He does this by staring at oncoming cars. On the freeway.
Did you know there was a national disaster last night while you were sleeping?
Of course you didn't, Jack Bauer was on duty.
Jack Bauer regularly rips the tags off of matresses.
Jack Bauer can eat just one 'Lays' potato chip.
Jack Bauer does not sleep. The only rest he needs is what he gets when he's knocked out or temporarily killed.
As a child, Jack Bauer's first words were "There's no time!".
Jack Bauer always goes for it on 4th down.
Jack Bauer's cellphone battery went dead 12 years ago. It has run on pure adrenaline ever since.
When the boogie man goes to sleep, he checks his closet for Jack Bauer.
It's for Jack Bauer from 24
=====================================================
You can lead a horse to water. Jack Bauer can make him drink.
If Jack Bauer was in a room with Hitler, Stalin, and Nina Meyers, and he had a gun with 2 bullets, he'd shoot Nina twice.
If you wake up in the morning, it's because Jack Bauer spared your life.
The real reason the military dropped the ‘Army of One’ campaign? Jack sued for copyright infringement.
Osama bin Laden's recent proposal for truce is a direct result of him finding out that Jack Bauer is, in fact, still alive.
Jack Bauer once forgot where he put his keys. He then spent the next half-hour torturing himself until he gave up the location of the keys.
Jack Bauer was never addicted to heroin. Heroin was addicted to Jack Bauer.
Superman wears Jack Bauer pajamas.
1.6 billion Chinese are angry with Jack Bauer. Sounds like a fair fight.
Jack Bauer doesn't miss. If he didn't hit you it's because he was shooting at another terrorist twelve miles away.
Jack Bauer played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.
Lets get one thing straight, the only reason you are conscious right now is because Jack Bauer does not feel like carrying you.
When life gave Jack Bauer lemons, he used them to kill terrorists. Jack Bauer freaking hates lemonade.
Jack Bauer's favorite color is severe terror alert red. His second favorite color is violet, but just because it sounds like violent.
Jack Bauer is mentioned in the Bible 24 times.
Jack Bauer can get McDonald's breakfast after 10:30.
When you open a can of whoop-***, Jack Bauer jumps out.
Killing Jack Bauer doesn't make him dead. It just makes him angry.
Simon Says should be renamed to Jack Bauer Says because if Jack Bauer says something then you **** well better do it.
If Jack and MacGyver were locked in a room together, Jack would make a bomb out of MacGyver and get out.
On his days off from CTU Jack Bauer helps old ladies cross the road. He does this by staring at oncoming cars. On the freeway.
Did you know there was a national disaster last night while you were sleeping?
Of course you didn't, Jack Bauer was on duty.
Jack Bauer regularly rips the tags off of matresses.
Jack Bauer can eat just one 'Lays' potato chip.
Jack Bauer does not sleep. The only rest he needs is what he gets when he's knocked out or temporarily killed.
As a child, Jack Bauer's first words were "There's no time!".
Jack Bauer always goes for it on 4th down.
Jack Bauer's cellphone battery went dead 12 years ago. It has run on pure adrenaline ever since.
When the boogie man goes to sleep, he checks his closet for Jack Bauer.
