Things I’ve Learned About The Good Old U S of A From Watching Films And Telly

[barry houdini]

Aren't cookies just chewy biscuits?

Aren't biscuits just crunchy cookies?

 

[Patience]

Things I might learn about the UK if I didn't live here...


- Oxford is a dangerous place to live. Being an Oxford Don will dramatically shorten your life expectancy.
- Village fetes should only attended by those wearing arrow proof jackets. Particularly if Bergerac has been seen hanging around.
- Slightly batty old ladies should be employed more often by the police.
- Top Secret organisations don't realise that having a blacked out Land Rover with TORCHWOOD written over it makes them not very secret. But its OK, they have retcon...
- We are all posh.
- Unless of course we aren't, when we sound somewhat stupid/aggressive.

Actually those last two I might learn if I were watching an American show about UK people.

 

[Patience]

Aren't cookies just chewy biscuits? Or have Sainsbury's been deceiving me all this time?

"A cookie is not a biscuit. It is a cookie. It should be soft on the inside and crunchy on the outside. If it is crunchy on the inside it is not a cookie..."

12 years ago, and I still have it etched on my mind.

 

[Joe4]

In a similar vein, everyone who works in a US hospital is gorgeous.

There is one exception, Gregory House the show "House". Ironically, I believe he is an English actor (Hugh Laurie, I believe).

Actually, my biggest beef with American TV is all the "reality" shows. They certainly don't represent any "reality" I have ever known...

Basically, it seems like with have three different kind of shows on Network TV now:

1. Reality shows
2. Hospital shows
3. Crime shows (mostly made up by about 100 different versions "Law And Order" and "CSI" -- I can hardly wait for "CSI: Anchorage")

 

[DominicB]

1.) Everyone wears a suit everywhere all the
time

Only if you;re watching really old TV programmes.

3.) Tea probably comes out of faucets, as it is
the only beverage ever consumed, barring of
course beer (see #7)

What's a "facet". Oh, you mean a tap...

4.) There are no such thing as cookies

Yes there are. We call them biscuits.

6.) Unexpected words in sentences form the
basis of comedy; for instance: "I brushed my
teeth with a chicken this morning" would be a
hilarious joke (though it might actually
explain the condition of the teeth over
there...)

In tripe programmes like Friends, perhaps. But that's American.
English humour is a lot more subtle. And funnier.
Oh yes, and English teeth are the colour they're meant to be rather than the sanitised shiny whites the yanks like.

8.) Football is actually played with the feet

I understand that's why it's called football

9.) Anything can be blamed on the Queen

Nope. Usually the Government.

10.) It rain literally without end - except
during cricket matches, when the weather is
always warm and sunny

Manchester has less precipitation than New York.

DominicB<!-- / message --><!-- sig -->

 

[Patience]

Something I have learned about the UK from this thread.

- People in the UK aren't quite as good at taking the joke when it is turned round.

 

[cornflakegirl]

Speaking for myself, I don't have a problem with taking the joke, I just genuinely don't understand it! I really would like to know which of our programmes are shown in the US.

Tbh, not sure how much you'd really learn about us from British telly, as so much is imported from the States anyway. Apart from the period dramas.

 

[Joe4]

Something I have learned about the UK from this thread.

- People in the UK aren't quite as good at taking the joke when it is turned round.

Does seem that way. doesn't it?

I thought the whole thing was pretty funny, which is why I am contributing to making fun of American TV and I am a full-blooded American.

I'm sure most countries have their share of ridiculous stereotypes which are propagated by TV and the mass media. I haven't been to England, but I hope not everyone has teeth like Austin Powers!

 

[Patience]

So would I actually like to know that. I know they get Doctor Who and Torchwood (cos I am geek and sometimes go to internet forums where people sometimes talk about such things) but I don't think they are shown widely.

 

[Joe4]

Speaking for myself, I don't have a problem with taking the joke, I just genuinely don't understand it! I really would like to know which of our programmes are shown in the US.

Oddly, enough it is mostly the older shows which are shown on PBS, like "Monty Python", "Allo, Allo", and "Are You Being Served?". Different kind of sense of humor, but funny all the same (at least to me!).