Things I’ve Learned About The Good Old U S of A From Watching Films And Telly

[Long Nose]

No, no, no! It was clearly the sword.
Swords were used for slicing people, and when they ran out of people they attacked the bread thus inventing sliced bread which was the next best thing to sliced people.

So, umm, maybe the best thing before sliced bread was sliced people but the supermarkets obviously had problems with packaging and getting it on the shelves (lack of shelf-stackers as they'd all been sliced).

So the next question is what was the best thing before sliced people, or swords; depending on which argument you want to follow. I don't believe it was whole people as nothing good ever came from that.

So, anyway.... is there going to be a CSI Balamory?

PS.... Sorry about the twiglets riaz. Have you tried breadsticks dipped in vegimite?

I reckon I might have chosen the long bow over the sword. But the bigger question is whether your sword was in fact intended on slicing in the first place, or rather was it designed for impaling with a lucky one-two thrust motion? Well, you didn't exactly say.

Certainly, a samurai sword is designed for slicing, but was that common in the pre-sliced bread era?

 

[Darren Bartrup]

Good point Long Nose.

So from this we can deduce that sliced bread was invented in Japan while the rest of the world was still struggling with chunks of bread which, to be honest, is terrible for making sandwiches.

Which in turn led to the rise of the pitta bread as this doesn't need to be sliced as such. The pitta bread made the rapier blade defunct which led to it's evolution into the kebab sword (later to become the kebab stick when swords were outlawed in preference to the gun which was found very early on to be terrible at slicing bread).

Other types of sword such as the broadsword, falchion, longsword, etc were passed over by the peasants of the medieval world in preference of the mace, or club which was used to beat the bread into submission. A method still used by the British police force as they are not allowed to use guns to slice their bread unless special training has been given.

 

[Long Nose]

Good point Long Nose.
..........Snip...
Other types of sword such as the broadsword, falchion, longsword, etc were passed over by the peasants of the medieval world in preference of the mace, or club which was used to beat the bread into submission. A method still used by the British police force as they are not allowed to use guns to slice their bread unless special training has been given.

Right! Furthermore, without this British police clubbing bread method, we would never have Raisin Breads, spotted dicks, or fruit cakes. Oh the fun you can have with a cup of raisins, a loaf of bread and a large hammering device.

 

[riaz]

PS.... Sorry about the twiglets riaz. Have you tried breadsticks dipped in vegimite?

Marmite =

Vegimite =

(shamelessly plagiarised from PGC)