Things I’ve Learned About The Good Old U S of A From Watching Films And Telly

[riaz]

Sorry, I'm being cynical again...

You know the difference between a stoic and a cynic?
A stoic is wot brings the babies, a cynic is where you wash them.

 

[Long Nose]

How about this one, in all American cities there is a strip club on every corner. I'm going to say this is rubbish, but then again I've not yet been to Las Vagas.

I will say there's at least one Karaoke bar and one Sports bar in every city. And on a totally unrelated note, I also believe there is at least one Chinese restaurant run by Chinese speaking "Engrish" in every American city. Darn-it-all, now I'm getting hungry.

 

[gingerafro]

If you are a cop/detective in the US and you are of a certain age, under no circumstances announce that you intend to retire as you will undoubtedly get paired with a young upstart/lunatic/loose cannon cop/detective in your final week and then get thrown into the most dangerous and challenging case of your life.

 

[Richard Schollar]

You know the difference between a stoic and a cynic?
A stoic is wot brings the babies, a cynic is where you wash them.

I onlyjust saw this today - that is terrible Riaz

 

[riaz]

I onlyjust saw this today - that is terrible Riaz

You ain't seen nothing yet. How about if we start a pun thread all on its own. That way at least the groaners will come in knowing what is going to hit them.

 

[Darren Bartrup]

I can't believe I just read the whole **** thing. My boss is going to kill me

As for marmite - it's the devils seed, unless it's on twiglets in which case it's ok.

And toilets! Toilets don't exist in any household, place of work, spaceship unless there is a bomb placed under it set to go off when you stand up, or if it plays 'flight of the valkeries' when you hit the target.

 

[riaz]

Delmar, you just ruined my taste for twiglets - the next best thing since sliced bread. I love twiglets, I hate marmite. Whaddamigonnadonow?

(Anyone ever wonder what was the best thing before sliced bread?)

 

[Long Nose]

On the flip side of this post, it seems only in Britain could you have a family kitchen where the only refrigerator is the size of an under counter dishwasher. I just can't imagine how this would work, unless you are single.

 

[Oaktree]

(Anyone ever wonder what was the best thing before sliced bread?)

Clearly, it must have been unsliced bread.

 

[Darren Bartrup]

Clearly, it must have been unsliced bread.

No, no, no! It was clearly the sword.
Swords were used for slicing people, and when they ran out of people they attacked the bread thus inventing sliced bread which was the next best thing to sliced people.

So, umm, maybe the best thing before sliced bread was sliced people but the supermarkets obviously had problems with packaging and getting it on the shelves (lack of shelf-stackers as they'd all been sliced).

So the next question is what was the best thing before sliced people, or swords; depending on which argument you want to follow. I don't believe it was whole people as nothing good ever came from that.

So, anyway.... is there going to be a CSI Balamory?

PS.... Sorry about the twiglets riaz. Have you tried breadsticks dipped in vegimite?