Things you WON'T hear a programmer say

Along the same lines...

Sure, I can make it idiot proof, but you need it before 2034 right?
 

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Never say "idiot proof".... there is always a big enough idiot to proove you wrong... [i'm still trying to find my glasses]
 
OT, but I usually just circumvent the standard error message with the following:

"You have generated an ID10-T error, please replace current user"

Granted,these are not widely distributed applications or excel files, but the user has to do an enormous amount of "wrong" to get the message.

After the initial confusion, they realize that they are the problem.
 
No you don't need to take me out to lunch, I'll have some sandwiches while I'll finish the job.

(This really happened to me, a network-bloke that costed me 500 Euro a day + expenses, refused to work any longer if we didn't take him out to lunch at noon. Of course this diminished his 'active working time' in our company with about 3 hours a day. His daily fee stayed the same of course).
 
"You have generated an ID10-T error, please replace current user"
Click to expand...
ROFL!

In the fire service, it's a ritual to make the probies go on errant runs which will always result in a big headache for them and a great laugh for you. (Much like the Marines like to operate. :lol: ) The best is to send them looking for an ID 10-T (ID ten Tango) form. 8-)
 
Yup, and in the well service/drilling industry, it was plugs for the rig (diesel), and of course, carpenters with the 'ol Board Stretecher...The best was the ranch manager asking me for a knife when the owner 's 13-year old nephew broke a finger spilling a 3-wheeler: "That finger's gotta come off boy, we ain't got time to get you to a doctor...Smitty, hold him down..."

Smitty

EDIT: Axctually the best was as a pledge in College and my pledge brothers and I were sent on the all important task (as they all were) of getting a keg...When we pulled into my driveway, I calmly pointed out to some very anxious pledge brothers that we had done EXACTLY what had been asked: we bought a keg (with the GMC's credit card), but no one had said a thing about where to take it... ;)
 
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