Things you WON'T hear a programmer say

[Andrew Fergus]

Is that a false moustache?

 

[nbrcrunch]

It was supposed to be things you'd never hear a programmer stating. They may have been socially dysfunctional nerds in the past, but not anymore. (I know, I is one. )

I met this girl at a club last night...

 

[atmospheric]

OK nbrcrunch, how about.........

My girlfiend said.........


Joke
(Her: "And where are you going?"
Programmer: "I'm going to San Francisco to a UNIX convention."
Her: "Eunuchs convention? I didn't know there were that many of you." )

 

[nbrcrunch]

LOL

With two children, its too late for me to qualify in that category.

 

[Zack Barresse]

Sure I can fix the problem I told you about months ago by tomorrow; the problem you told me not to worry about the 'simple fix' or 'waste my time with it. I love to work late to meet dealines, and my wife and kids appreciate it as well. Maybe we can do lunch sometime.

 

[atmospheric]

Before I start coding, I should find out exactly what the client wants.

 

[Felix Atagong]

That is MY mistake, so you don't have to buy new hardware and I'll make you a patch for free.

 

[Oaktree]

1) It would be my absolute pleasure to provide you with a firm cost quote based on the three sentence description you have provided.

2) Your diagram of stick figures; blank boxes; and random, unlabeled arrows layed it all out perfectly.

 

[atmospheric]

No thanks, I've had enough coffee for today.....

 

[Cbrine]

I think I will go the other way. Things you won't hear from a programmer, that they would like to say.

You want to do what????? Are you a F#$%@#$ Idiot?