Quote of the day.

[SydneyGeek]

Seen on a T-shirt...
There are 10 kinds of people.
Those who understand binary, and those who don't

Woody Allen...
"I never trusted air I couldn't see"

And from Groucho Marx...
Time flies like an arrow, but fruit flies like a banana

Denis

 

[adam_neb]

Another from Groucho Marx...

Outside a dog, a book is man's best friend...
Inside a dog it's too dark to read.

 

[Von Pookie]

Oh, Groucho is a great source. Having just spent the past weekend mainly watching Marx Brothers movies, I feel the need to share:

From Animal *******s:
"One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas, I don't know."

"I got a good mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it. "

From Duck Soup:
(Rufus T. Firefly = Groucho)
Rufus T. Firefly: "Not that I care, but where is your husband?"
Mrs. Teasdale: "Why, he's dead."
Rufus T. Firefly: "I bet he's just using that as an excuse."
Mrs. Teasdale: "I was with him to the very end."
Rufus T. Firefly: "No wonder he passed away."
Mrs. Teasdale: "I held him in my arms and kissed him."
Rufus T. Firefly: "Oh, I see, then it was murder. Will you marry me? Did he leave you any money? Answer the second question first. "

"Remember, you're fighting for this woman's honour, which is probably more than she ever did."

"Don't look now, but there's one man too many in this room, and I think it's you."

From A Day at the Races:
"Either he's dead or my watch has stopped."

"She's so in love with me, she doesn't know anything. That's why she's in love with me."

 

[whiteghost]

"the question is: Is there intelligent life on Earth?
the answer was : Yes but I'm not staying"

 

[SydneyGeek]

Kristy,

Found this from Duck Soup:

Rufus T. Firefly: Take a letter.
Bob Roland: Who to?
Rufus T. Firefly: To my dentist.
[Roland writes out the following]
Rufus T. Firefly: Uh... Dear dentist, enclosed find check for $500, yours very truly. Send that off immediately.
Bob Roland: I'll, um, I'll have to enclose a check first.
Rufus T. Firefly: You do and I'll fire you.

Denis

 

[Von Pookie]

The best "take a letter" moment would have to be from Animal *******s, in my opinion. I think the sequence on the IMDB quotes page is a little out of order, so here's my attempt to put it straight:

[Spaulding has repeatedly told Jamison to take a letter to Spaulding's lawyers, but he has kept interrupting himself]
Capt. Spaulding: I say, take a letter to my lawyers!
Horatio Jamison: Well I am taking it!
[long pause, as nothing has yet been written]
Capt. Spaulding: Honorable Charles H., uh, Hungerdunger, care of Hungerdunger, Hungerdunger, Hungerdunger, Hungerdunger, and McCormick... semicolon.
Horatio Jamison: How do you spell semicolon?
Capt. Spaulding: All right, make it a comma.
[pause]
Capt. Spaulding: Honorable Charles. H. Hungerdunger, care of Hunger...
[rushes through the repetition]
Capt. Spaulding: ... and McCormick.
[pause]
Capt. Spaulding: Gentlemen, question mark? [grunts]
Horatio Jamison: Do you want that, uh,[grunt] in the letter?
Capt. Spaulding: No, put that in an envelope.
[pause]
Capt. Spaulding: Now then. In re yours of the fifth inst., yours to hand and beg to rep... brackets...
[pause]
Capt. Spaulding: ... We have gone over the ground carefully, and we seem to believe, i.e., to wit, e.g., in lieu, that, uh, despite all our... precautionary measures which have been involved...
[pause]
Capt. Spaulding: ... uh, we seem to believe that it is hardly necessary for us to proceed unless we, uh, receive an ipso facto that is not negligible at this moment, quotes, unquotes, and quotes...
[pause]
Capt. Spaulding: ... uh, hoping this finds you, I beg to remain...
Horatio Jamison: [interrupting] Hoping this finds him where?
Capt. Spaulding: Well, let him worry about that. Don't be so inquisitive, Jamison.
[insultingly]
Capt. Spaulding: Sneak.
[pause]
Capt. Spaulding: I say, hoping this finds you, I beg to remain, as of June 9th, cordially yours, regards. That's all, Jamison.

Capt. Spaulding: Now read me the letter, Jamison.
Horatio Jamison: [reading] "Honorable Charles H. Hungadunga..."
Capt. Spaulding: [correcting him] Hungerdunger.
[they say the "hung" syllable in unison]
Capt. Spaulding: Hoong.
Horatio Jamison: Hungerdunger.
Capt. Spaulding: That's it, Hungerdunger.
Horatio Jamison: [continues reading] "... care of Hungerdunger, Hungerdunger, Hungerdunger, and McCormick."
Capt. Spaulding: You've left out a Hungerdunger. You left out the main one, too. Thought you could slip one over on me, didn't you, eh?
[pause]
Capt. Spaulding: All right, leave it out and put in a windshield wiper instead.
[Jamison nods and writes]
Capt. Spaulding: I tell you what you do, Jamison, I tell you what. Make it, uh, make it three windshield wipers and one Hungerdunger. They won't all be there when the letter arrives anyhow.
Horatio Jamison: [rushes quickly through what he's just written] "... Hungerdunger, Hungerdunger, Hungerdunger... and McCormick."
Capt. Spaulding: And McCormick.
Horatio Jamison: [reading] "Gentlemen, question mark."
Capt. Spaulding: [correcting him] Gentlemen, question mark? Put it on the penultimate, not on the diphthongic. You wanna brush up on your Greek, Jamison. Well, get a Greek and brush up on him.
Horatio Jamison: [reading] "In re yours of the fifth inst..."
Capt. Spaulding: I see.
Horatio Jamison: Now, uh... you said a lot of things here that I didn't think were important, so I just omitted them.
Mrs. Rittenhouse: Well!
Capt. Spaulding: Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm.
[suddenly tries to hit Jamison with his switch, but misses; he falls]
Mrs. Rittenhouse: [helps Spaulding up] Oh, Captain! Good gracious! Oh, my.
Capt. Spaulding: [to Jamison] So, you just omitted them, eh? You just omitted the body of the letter, that's all. You've just left out the body of the letter, that's all. Yours is not to reason why, Jamison. You've left out the body of the letter.
[pause]
Capt. Spaulding: All right, send it that way and tell them the body will follow.
[swings his switch indignantly]
Horatio Jamison: Do you want the body in brackets?
Capt. Spaulding: No, it'll never get there in brackets. Put it in a box. Put it in a box and mark it, uh..."fragilly."
Horatio Jamison: Mark it what?
Capt. Spaulding: Mark it fragilly. F-R-A-G... Look it up, Jamison, it's in the dictionary. Look under "fragile." Look under the table if you don't find it there.

[Jamison finishes reading the letter that Spaulding dictated to him]
Horatio Jamison: [reading] "Quotes, unquotes, and quotes."
Capt. Spaulding: That's three quotes?
Horatio Jamison: Yes, sir.
Capt. Spaulding: Add another quote and make it a gallon. How much is it a gallon, Jamison?
Horatio Jamison: Regards.
Capt. Spaulding: Regards. That's a fine letter, Jamison, that's an epic. That's dandy. Now, I want you to make two carbon copies of that letter and throw the original away. And when you get through with that, throw the carbon copies away. Just send a stamp, airmail, that's all. You may go, Jamison. I may go too.

 

[SydneyGeek]

Where did they get that stuff?

Another great source of quotes was Winston Churchill. Here's a few:

We are all worms. But I believe that I am a glow-worm.

When I am abroad, I always make it a rule never to criticize or attack the government of my own country. I make up for lost time when I come home.

You have enemies? Good. That means you've stood up for something, sometime in your life.

Although present on the occasion, I have no clear recollection of the events leading up to it.

Ending a sentence with a preposition is something up with which I will not put.

History will be kind to me for I intend to write it.

However beautiful the strategy, you should occasionally look at the results.

I am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.

I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.

Denis

 

[hatman]

I have always been fond of Frank Herbert's Chapter Preludes (or whatever you call those quotes at the beginning of each chapter).

Case in point:

"Quite naturally, holders of power wish to suppress wild research.
Unrestricted questing after knowledge has a long history of producing
unwanted competition. The powerful want a 'Safe Line of Investigations,'
which will develope only those products and ideas that can be controlled,
and most important, that will allow the larger part of the benefits to be
captured by inside investors."
-Assessment of Ix, Bene Gesserit Archives
(From Heretics of Dune, by Frank Herbert)

 

[Oorang]

As scarce as truth is, the supply has always been in excess of the demand. ---Josh Billings

 

[whiteghost]

the ultimate quote has to be "if life is card game....some bugger is cheating.." but I can't remember who said it!!!