Homemade jokes

[Domski]

Are we allowed to consider getting one?

Not as a comedian

 

[DiscoPistol]

Man goes to the Doctors with a piece of Coal attached to his head.

'Don't worry' said the Doc. 'Its just a miner injury'

 

[Expiry]

Good stuff! Expiry, do you do Stand-up comedy?!?

Funnily enough...... no. I'm not allowed.

 

[snowblizz]

Not as a comedian

Touché.

Funnily enough...... no. I'm not allowed.

Oh that's easy. Just sit down...

 

[Gerald Higgins]

Please, nobody consider giving up their day job!!!

Dom

Expiry, Domski means YOU.

 

[SydneyGeek]

In Australia they used to sell 2 brands of sunglasses: Le Specs Le Tough, and Indescratchables. My wife's hard on sunnies and we renamed them Le Specs Le Stuffed and Indewearables.

Denis

 

[xlHammer]

What's the difference between a car and a computer?
With a car you wind the windows up.

 

[arkusM]

Our civic politicians problem solving abilities are a joke.
http://www.calgaryherald.com/news/C...ethadone+clinic+leave+city/1772038/story.html

I can't find the quote, but in one of the papers had one of our Aldermen saying that they cannot relocate into an industrial area because of... zoning. WT???

Does the city not control the zoning and the enforcement of said zoning...
What a joke.

Cheers all!

 

[RichardS]

OK, I was trying to explain to my 10 year old son the other day how the H1N1 virus crossed species and we now have human borne swine flu. We were also talking about the avian flu from the previous year. He asked what would happen if the two strains became one. I said "Pigs might fly". Jeez, I was rolling on the floor laughing while my wife and kids just looked at me with pity in their eyes.

 

[arkusM]

OK, I was trying to explain to my 10 year old son the other day how the H1N1 virus crossed species and we now have human borne swine flu. We were also talking about the avian flu from the previous year. He asked what would happen if the two strains became one. I said "Pigs might fly". Jeez, I was rolling on the floor laughing while my wife and kids just looked at me with pity in their eyes.

Good one!!
The circumstances make it sound contrived!!