The Users Guide to I.T. Support

[Felix Atagong]

Deny that you have unzipped and executed an attachment, this to provoke conversations as follows (IT people love an Edgar Allan Poe mystery):

Scene: The IT dpt where I find a worm that has been apparently send from within the company, the PC that sends it is quickly found.

FA: Your PC tries to send a worm to everyone else!
IV (Innocent Victim): I didn't click on it.
FA: Your inbox has a mail with an attachment that says girls.zip
IV: I didn't click on it.
FA: In your unzipped folder there is a subfolder called girls.
IV: I didn't click on it.
FA: In that subfolder is a file called girls.exe
IV: I didn't click on it.
FA: Sow how does it comes that the worm is trying to send that attachment to everybody else.
IV: It surprises me that the IT dpt doesn't know that these viruses infect your PC the moment they arrive in your mailbox...

 

[Smitty]

OK, so I'm working away diligently today :wink: , and the head of IT calls to tell me that she needs to access my system to run a softwares [sic] audit. I say OK as I hurriedly try to close MSN Messenger to my wife...She (IT Manager) discovers "Shockwaves" [sic] and "Google Toolbar", which puts me in violation of company policy for unauthorized softwares [sic]. I tried to explain exactly what "Shockwaves" was and she said that she would do some research as she had never heard of it before. The Google Toolbar had to go though. EDIT: She didn't know what that was either...

Ten minutes later an IT tech calls to say he's accessing my system to uninstall the Google Toolbar, laughing his A$$ off the whole way that his boss is so clueless...But it does have to be done and I do have to be written up. But hey, I got written up for having SpyBot and AdAware on my PC too. (Neither of which the IT Manager had heard of... )

20 minutes later the IT Manager calls to inform me that she's got to access my system again to take a screen shot of my VirusScan status (current definitions, etc.) Naieve me, thinking that there's got to be a better way asks if there isn't a report for that. Reply: "Yes, but we need proof for the auditors". Response: "I hope that they're external auditors, because if we've got anyone that determined to waste time & money, we're in big trouble!"

She hung up (nicely) to go on and call the other 1,000 PC users in our unit.

Silly me, they want a PRINTED copy from EACH PC to PROVE that virus scan is updated. Hmmm....I guess they figured out to recover from the Enron's of the world...SarBox (SUX) doesn't seem to have hurt the auditors now that they've found another revenue stream...****ers!

Hope you have better dealings with them, they take up most of my time now.

Smitty

 

[Norie]

Best reply I ever got was, "I don't know, have you tried turning your computer off and then starting it up again."

 

[Andrew Fergus]

Hey Smitty

I guess some people have to try really hard to justify their position....

If your boss is so uninformed (as well as paranoid) about softwares (sic) why not download and install something like Stinger to see what reaction you get? Or is yours the sort of organisation that restricts such things as desktop wallpaper, screen savers and web surfing? As for being booked for having Spybot & AdAware - ppffttt! They are real life savers!

Would surfing through an online anonymiser defeat their web surfing snoops?

Cheers, Andrew :wink:

 

[Glaswegian]

Andrew, somehow I doubt if any of your suggestions will help. When we switched to XP recently, all new PCs are now configured in such a way that users cannot
- change the wallpaper
- access the BIOS
- cannot download and install almost anything
- download and install Flash
But – you can set your own sound scheme – yeeeaaahhh!!!

Of course Web access is severely restricted and monitored.

The Thought Police are alive and well and thriving in Glasgow

 

[Barrie Davidson]

Best reply I ever got was, "I don't know, have you tried turning your computer off and then starting it up again."

I've experienced that many times!

 

[shades]

The sad thing is: with Windows, many times that seems to work!

I remember buying a brand new Volvo in 1977. On the test drive, we stopped somewhere. Then tried to start the Volvo again. Brand new - it wouldn't start. So, the salesman says, "Yeah, that is a problem occasionally. We have found the best solution is to get out of the car, walk around the car, then start it." As I was laughing, I looked at him, and he was serious!! So I got out of the car, walked around it - and it started! Several times over the next 10 years I had to start the car that way.

 

[just_jon]

The sad thing is: with Windows, many times that seems to work!

I remember buying a brand new Volvo in 1977. On the test drive, we stopped somewhere. Then tried to start the Volvo again. Brand new - it wouldn't start. So, the salesman says, "Yeah, that is a problem occasionally. We have found the best solution is to get out of the car, walk around the car, then start it." As I was laughing, I looked at him, and he was serious!! So I got out of the car, walked around it - and it started! Several times over the next 10 years I had to start the car that way.

You had to "wind" the car, eh, like a watch?

Did it make a difference which way you went?

 

[Glaswegian]

Did it make a difference which way you went?

Was downhill the best way by any chance?

 

[shades]

Can't remember now (ya know how old codgers are).

[EDIT: Give old timers enough time and they will remember! I always walked around clockwise!]

Aside from that quirk it was an excellent car!