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Shall we have a worst pun thread?
- Thread starter riaz
- Start date
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Lewiy
Well-known Member
- Joined
- Jan 5, 2007
- Messages
- 4,284
I felt that I had to include this as it's along the same word play lines....and after all, it will help our State-side friends understand the rules of cricket!!
THE RULES OF CRICKET
You have two sides, one out in the field and one in.
Each man that's in the side that's in, goes out, and when he's out, he comes in and the next man goes in until he's out.
When they are all out the side that's out comes in and the side that's been in goes out and tries to get those coming in out.
Sometimes you get men still in and not out.
When both sides have been in and out including the not-outs, that's the end of the game.
THE RULES OF CRICKET
You have two sides, one out in the field and one in.
Each man that's in the side that's in, goes out, and when he's out, he comes in and the next man goes in until he's out.
When they are all out the side that's out comes in and the side that's been in goes out and tries to get those coming in out.
Sometimes you get men still in and not out.
When both sides have been in and out including the not-outs, that's the end of the game.
Howzat?
Mr_Roscoe
Board Regular
- Joined
- Mar 28, 2006
- Messages
- 200
OK - here's a range of jokes and puns following earlier themes:
A man walks into a bar. "Ouch!" he says.
A giraffe, a donkey and a horse walk into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long faces?"
Two blondes walk into a building. You would have thought one of them would have seen it!
There was a tribal king in Central Africa. He had a fascination for thrones so he decided to collect them. He invaded and overuled nearby tribes, taking the throne of that ruler away as a trophy. He stored the thrones in his big chiefs grass hut.
He collected thrones made from wood, some made of bone and some made of rock. Before long he had the largest collection of thrones in the world. His grass hut was running out of room so he started to put them up into the rafters to make more room.
One day the thrones stored in the roof became too heavy for the rafters and they all came crashing down, landing on the king and killing him.
The moral to the story: People who live in grass houses shouldn't stow thrones.
Mr Roscoe
Nurse - is it time for my medication?
A man walks into a bar. "Ouch!" he says.
A giraffe, a donkey and a horse walk into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long faces?"
Two blondes walk into a building. You would have thought one of them would have seen it!
There was a tribal king in Central Africa. He had a fascination for thrones so he decided to collect them. He invaded and overuled nearby tribes, taking the throne of that ruler away as a trophy. He stored the thrones in his big chiefs grass hut.
He collected thrones made from wood, some made of bone and some made of rock. Before long he had the largest collection of thrones in the world. His grass hut was running out of room so he started to put them up into the rafters to make more room.
One day the thrones stored in the roof became too heavy for the rafters and they all came crashing down, landing on the king and killing him.
The moral to the story: People who live in grass houses shouldn't stow thrones.
Mr Roscoe
Nurse - is it time for my medication?
Greg Truby
MrExcel MVP
- Joined
- Jun 19, 2002
- Messages
- 10,030
Just go this in an e-mail and thought it would fit nicely in Riaz' thread. I believe a couple have already been posted, but most have not.
- The roundest knight at the round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.
- I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island. He turned out to be an optical Aleutian.
- She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.
- A rubber band was confiscated from an algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.
- The butcher backed into a meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.
- No matter how much you push the envelope it'll till be stationery.
- A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
- A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.
- Two silk worms had a race and ended up in a tie.
- Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
- A hole has been found in a nudist camp wall. Police are looking into it.
- Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
- Two hats were hanging on a hat rack. One said to the other, "You stay here, I'll go on a head."
- I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger.Then it hit me.
- A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
- The short fortune teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
- A backward poet writes inverse.
- In democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count that votes.
- When cannibals ate a missionary they got a taste of religion.
- Don't join dangerous cults. Practice safe sects.
- A mental patient attacked a nurse, then ran away. The headline read, "Nut screws and bolts."
I was driving along with me mate in the car when he points at some marsupial roadkill on the side of the highway.
'Slow Skippy.' he says.
'Skippy was a kangaroo. That's a wallaby.'
'Well-I'll-be.'
(sidebar - actually happened. And my mate thought it was so hilarious that to this day he cannot drive past roadkill without resurrecting the same gag)
'Slow Skippy.' he says.
'Skippy was a kangaroo. That's a wallaby.'
'Well-I'll-be.'
(sidebar - actually happened. And my mate thought it was so hilarious that to this day he cannot drive past roadkill without resurrecting the same gag)
