Funny jokes folks

[the_Intern]

A man wins the lottery jackpot and rushes home from work
He bursts through the door and greeting his wife he says:
"Honey, I just won the lottery! Pack your bags!"
His wife is thrilled and excitedly replies:
"That's amazing dear! Where are we going?"
And the husband says:
"I don't care just get out!"

 

[ZAX]

A man wins the lottery jackpot and rushes home from work
He bursts through the door and greeting his wife he says:
"Honey, I just won the lottery! Pack your bags!"
His wife is thrilled and excitedly replies:
"That's amazing dear! Where are we going?"
And the husband says:
"I don't care just get out!"

 

[ZAX]

Q:Why does the ant swim raising its hand?
A:Its watch isn't water-proof!

Q:What happens when you cross the Atlantic ocean with the Titanic?
A:Half way

A kid asked a man: "What time is it?"
The man: "3:40"
Kid: "Kiss my boots at 4:00"
The man got mad and followed the kid until he reached his house, the man said to the kid's father: "Your kid just told me to kiss his boots at 4:00!"
The father asked: "What time is it?"
The man replied: "3:50"
The father explained: "What's the rush? there's still ten minutes to kiss his boots"

A jerk who never saw a bubble gum before, ate one and swore not to sleep until it's finished!

A worm fell into a macaroni plate, it said: "oh, what a rush!"

ZAX

 

[EPURON]

The above one reminded me of the following one...

When I die, I want to go like my grandfather did... peacefully... in his sleep,
not screaming like the passengers in the backseat of his car did.

Haha same with my grandfather, down a hill he would just constantly stop at random times to make me fly out of my seat.. Though i enjoyed it hahaa. But now he is at peace so those days are gone now heh..