Favourite Jokes

[Nalani]

More one liners:

If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop digging.

If you think you're a person of some influence, try ordering sonebody else's dog around.

The biggest troublemaker you'll probably ever have to deal with, watches you in the mirror every morning.

Forgive your enemies. It messes up their heads.

You know what they say about men with big feet? ...... Big shoes.

 

[Oorang]

rofl @ Coincide

Why don't people tell jokes in octal? Because 7, 10, 11.

Five out four people don't understand fractions.

See also: this.

 

[riaz]

Expiry's "bison/buffalo" joke reminds me of a similar one.

What is the difference between a stoic and a cynic?

A stoic is what brings the babies, a cynic is where you wash them.

 

[Expiry]

Why did the fly fly? Because the spider spider.

--------------------------------------------------

Why didn't the viper viper nose? Because the adder adder handkerchief.


Snake jokes are the best.

 

[Oorang]

/me votes to ban Expiry

 

[Expiry]

/me votes to ban Expiry

Even I would vote for that.

 

[eblake]

Ok, ill try a couple...

A guy walks into a bar, says ouch!

2 Fish are in a tank, one says to the other, i'll drive, you man the guns.

Not great, but a couple of my fav's

 

[TinaP]

Three nuns walk into a bar.

BAM BAM BAM

 

[RichardS]

Nonsense one from my Uni mates kid brother:

What's the difference between a duck?


One of its legs is both the same.

 

[MarkAndrews]

I have lots, sadly i cant post most of them due to the joke subjects....