Does this annoy anyone else?

[XOR LX]

I think it's unfortunate and disappointing that the only two contributors to this post who have so far expressed the opinion that a (simple, courteous, one-word) thanks should not be something that is necessarily "expected" are the very two contibutors whose status on this forum will mean that their opinion will most likely carry the most weight with the average reader of this post.

With said status in mind, and given the sentiments expressed in these two contributions, it might easily be interpreted as giving the green light to visiting OPs - and, perhaps more pertinently, erstwhile helpers - that Mr. Excel is a forum in which you are not in any way required to give small thanks for the (free, time-consuming and often professional-standard) help you receive.

It is a shame, in my opinion, that the philosophy of "giving thanks where thanks is due" is becoming something which, increasingly, people can choose to ignore; that this philosophy is condoned by those in positions of influence and responsibility is even more so.

Regards

 

[Joe4]

What do you propose we do? Chastise those people who do not post their appreciation?
While it certainly is the courteous and polite thing for people to express their appreciation (and preferable), the reality it is that it doesn't always happen.
It is not something that I am going to lost any sleep over. I am not in it for any personal recognition or glory, I am it it to help people out and learn stuff along the way (as Jon said).

 

[XOR LX]

No, I do not expect you to chastise people who choose to show discourtesy. But equally that is not to say that you should openly condone it.

And are you really suggesting that expecting a simple thank you is tantamount to being a person who covets "personal recognition or glory"?

Regards

 

[RoryA]

The majority of people posting here are not regulars of this forum (or many/any other(s)) - they are people who post a question, or maybe two, get an answer and leave. Most of them are polite, but they typically don't read the rules or FAQ beyond figuring out how to post a thread, and most of them I don't think have any idea who or what moderators or MVPs are. They also probably won't be reading this thread anyway.

Out of the regulars, I find there too that most are polite and express thanks most of the time (everyone is entitled to miss one here and there, especially if they are on here because they're under pressure). As in all social interaction, there are exceptions.

Do I find it annoying when I get no response at all to something I post? Yes, I do. I don't like rude people*. Of course, I freely admit I am in it for the glory. And the women.

Is it really worth worrying about? Probably not. There's not much I can do about it, and I try, albeit not always successfully, not to worry about things I can't affect. If it's someone who is becoming a regular poster, I may have a quiet word, just to remind them that it's in their own interest to be polite, but otherwise my experiences of trying to teach people manners online have not been particularly successful or pleasant. Anyway, they're a lot less annoying than, say, the spammers we get!

As always, your mileage may vary.

*and unlike others, I do have a list of people I ignore based on past experience. It is however surprisingly short.

 

[Joe4]

No, I do not expect you to chastise people who choose to show discourtesy. But equally that is not to say that you should openly condone it.

I think our stance on it is quite clear (see item #10 here: http://www.mrexcel.com/forum/board-announcements/515787-forum-posting-guidelines.html).

And are you really suggesting that expecting a simple thank you is tantamount to being a person who covets "personal recognition or glory"?

Certainly most people do not, but yes, there are some that do. It is quite evident from the tone of some of the comments I have seen over the years.

I find things usually have a way of working themselves out in the long run. People who appear to be pushy or are perceived to be routinely ungrateful usually find that there are less and less people willing to help them. Call it karma or whatever you like...

 

[XOR LX]

Perhaps I'm guilty of allowing my personal (and quite strong) opinions on this from a wider social view to taint my objectivity here a touch (like Rory, I also "don't like rude people") and I apologise if so.

But my main point was - and still is - that whilst I agree that in the long run any attempt to "teach people manners" is pretty much futile, that's still not to say that a lack of that particular characteristic should be openly condoned. I personally would have been far happier to see the Moderators of this forum deliver a reinforcing statement about how, although they may feel powerless to prevent it, they nevertheless urge those who happen to be reading to make the effort to be courteous. Especially since, although Number 10 of 10 (perhaps due for a promotion?) on the Forum Rules is to that effect, as Rory said, most visitors "typically don't read the rules or FAQ beyond figuring out how to post a thread".

"I find things usually have a way of working themselves out in the long run. People who appear to be pushy or are perceived to be routinely ungrateful usually find that there are less and less people willing to help them. Call it karma or whatever you like..."

Let's hope so...

"And the women."

Tell me more!

Regards

 

[Jon von der Heyden]

But equally that is not to say that you should openly condone it.

When did Joe and I condone it?

On the contrary, quoting the posting guidelines:

Tip #10:
Thank members that help you.

 

[Joe4]

One of the things I have learned here over the years is that when you have a world-wide forum when people from all different cultures participating, is that different people have different views on what is socially acceptable; what may be considered rude, polite, offensive, funny, etc. A manner of speaking in which one person has, another may find offensive or rude. And of course, when you are dealing with people trying to ask questions in languages that aren't their own, things can often be misinterpretted (I have had to help resolve a number of "misunderstandings over the years" myself).

But to remove any uncertainty about my stance on the topic, let me be clear about one thing: I think people should thank others for their help. In my culture, and I believe in most others, it is the polite thing to do. Not only does it seem like the right thing to do, but it is also probably in their own best interest, as it increases the chances of them receiving help on future questions.

However, I consider those transgressions relatively minor compared to some other behaviors. If you think we condone what some consider to be "rude", you apparently haven't seen the number of times every day we correct offenders who double-post or cross-post questions. Personally, I find those to be much more rude than not thanking someone, as it may be wasting people's time on questions which may have already been answered elsewhere. No one likes to feel like they wasted their time, especially when they taking their time to try to help someone free-of-charge.

 

[XOR LX]

Jon,

You never explicitly condoned it (in so many words), but in my opinion if readers of a thread - whose starting point was the apparent lack of courtesy displayed by some visitors to the forum - hear the people at the very top (and I have to disagree with Rory somewhat here - I think the letters 'MVP' are widely-known enough that people recognise their significance, not to mention 'Moderator'), replying that "A thanks is nice but I don't expect it" or "I wouldn't avoid questions by people who don't say thanks", well then, isn't there a small chance that those very readers are going to go away with the impression that it's perfectly ok to not bother to say thank you?

Don't misunderstand me. I'm not saying that you should have to sit on the fence in every single matter of debate surrounding the forum. You, like everyone else, have your opinion.

But perhaps considering the fact that your opinions are probably held more highly (whether rightly or wrongly) by virtue of your status on the forum, I for one would have hoped that you might have been a touch more supportive of the views of the previous posters, especially considering all the hard work that people do in answering questions for free on this forum. Failing that, might it not have been prudent to qualify one or two of your statements, e.g. "Whilst I wouldn't avoid questions by people who don't say thanks, it's certainly something that I don’t like to see on this forum..."?

You finish by quoting the guidelines, but then, if you "don't expect" a thanks, and thanking a person is in the Forum Rules, isn't that logically identical to saying that you "don't expect" people to follow your own Forum Rules?

Regards

 

[Joe4]

You finish by quoting the guidelines, but then, if you "don't expect" a thanks, and thanking a person is in the Forum Rules, isn't that logically identical to saying that you "don't expect" people to follow your own Forum Rules?

The Forum Rules are here: http://www.mrexcel.com/forum/board-announcements/99490-forum-rules.html
The Forum Posting Guidelines are here: http://www.mrexcel.com/forum/board-announcements/515787-forum-posting-guidelines.html

I trust you know the difference between a "Rule" and a "Guideline".