Scott Huish
MrExcel MVP
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Well at least it doesn't predate Windows 
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Bill Gates' speech to a high school class
- Thread starter phantom1975
- Start date
Excel Facts
How to find 2nd largest value in a column?
MAX finds the largest value. =LARGE(A:A,2) will find the second largest. =SMALL(A:A,3) will find the third smallest
Gerald Higgins
Well-known Member
- Joined
- Mar 26, 2007
- Messages
- 9,258
Just for fun, here's what Bill should have said...
Rule 1: Excel is not fair - get used to it !
Rule 2: The world won't care about your Excel skills. The world will expect you to accomplish something not at all related to Excel BEFORE you feel good about yourself.
Rule 3: You will not make 60,000 posts to Mr Excel a year right out of high school. You won't be a Mr Excel MVP until you're making posts from your carphone.
Rule 4: If you think Excel formulas are tough, wait till you meet VBA.
Rule 5: Flipping Excel spreadsheets is not beneath your dignity.
Your grandparents had a different word for flipping Excel spreadsheets - they called it flipping Symphony spreadsheets.
Rule 6: If you mess up, it's Excel's fault, so whine about your mistakes on Mr Excel.
Rule 7: Before you were born, spreadsheets weren't as boring as they are now. They got that way from being used for paying bills and tracking lottery numbers. So before you save the internet from the bugs in Excel, try de-bugging the code in your own VBA.
Rule 8: Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but Excel HAS NOT. In some schools they have abolished failing grades and they'll give you as MANY TIMES as you want to get the right answer. This doesn't bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in Excel.
Rule 9: Excel is not divided into semesters. You don't get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you learn how to use the =FIND() function. Do that on your own time.
Rule 10: Mr Excel is NOT real life. In real life people actually have to leave their computers and go into coffee shops to meet real people.
Rule 11: Be nice to the nerds at Mr Excel. Chances are you'll end up being one.
Disclaimer . . . any similarity to actual people, companies, spreadsheet programmes . . . . blah blah blah
Rule 1: Excel is not fair - get used to it !
Rule 2: The world won't care about your Excel skills. The world will expect you to accomplish something not at all related to Excel BEFORE you feel good about yourself.
Rule 3: You will not make 60,000 posts to Mr Excel a year right out of high school. You won't be a Mr Excel MVP until you're making posts from your carphone.
Rule 4: If you think Excel formulas are tough, wait till you meet VBA.
Rule 5: Flipping Excel spreadsheets is not beneath your dignity.
Your grandparents had a different word for flipping Excel spreadsheets - they called it flipping Symphony spreadsheets.
Rule 6: If you mess up, it's Excel's fault, so whine about your mistakes on Mr Excel.
Rule 7: Before you were born, spreadsheets weren't as boring as they are now. They got that way from being used for paying bills and tracking lottery numbers. So before you save the internet from the bugs in Excel, try de-bugging the code in your own VBA.
Rule 8: Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but Excel HAS NOT. In some schools they have abolished failing grades and they'll give you as MANY TIMES as you want to get the right answer. This doesn't bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in Excel.
Rule 9: Excel is not divided into semesters. You don't get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you learn how to use the =FIND() function. Do that on your own time.
Rule 10: Mr Excel is NOT real life. In real life people actually have to leave their computers and go into coffee shops to meet real people.
Rule 11: Be nice to the nerds at Mr Excel. Chances are you'll end up being one.
Disclaimer . . . any similarity to actual people, companies, spreadsheet programmes . . . . blah blah blah
SuperFerret
Well-known Member
- Joined
- Mar 2, 2009
- Messages
- 515
