Greg Truby
MrExcel MVP
- Joined
- Jun 19, 2002
- Messages
- 10,030
REUTERS | The North Pole | The International Guild of Faeries, Pixies and Other Mythical Creatures (IGFPOMC) released its weekly list of parents that have been placed on probation. Among the nitwits on this week's list was none other than Mr. Excel's own Greg Truby.
Per the Office of the Tooth Fairy: "Mr. Truby was returning home from a Boy Scout troop meeting with his son yesterday evening when his seven-year-old daughter telephoned him on his cell phone, proudly announcing that the loose tooth she had mentioned at dinner was now in her hand and in its place was a bit of bloody tissue paper. Per protocol, young Miss Truby placed her tooth in a small pink plastic treasure chest, procured from the dentist for just this purpose. And after reading bedtime stories and saying prayers, she put the treasure chest snugly under her pillow.
Over the course of his twelve years of parenting, Mr. Truby had amassed a distinguished record of assistance to the IGFPOMC, helping Santa write notes and even assisting Santa by eating part of the cookies; getting up in the wee hours of the morning to help the Easter Bunny hide eggs and so forth. Unfortunately, Mr. Truby's track record in helping the tooth fairy had been a bit dodgy. He is to be commended for going the extra mile and purchasing his self-adhesive stamps with a $20-bill from the vending machine at the Post Office because the machine gives change in golden $1 coins (the coin preferred by the U.S. branch of the Office of the Tooth Fairy).
But this is now the second time he has failed to put a golden dollar underneath a pillow. I mean really, to see that poor lass sobbing on the couch this morning; it was heart-wrenching. Yes, Mrs. Truby saved the day by "finding" the coin on the floor between Pooh bear and Rudolph, the red-nosed reindeer. But if the IGFPOMC doesn't take some sort of action, what kind of a signal does this send to other parents? We have every confidence that after this reprimand, Mr. Truby will 'get his pixie-dust properly packed and fly right', as we faeries say."
The Easter Bunny issued a statement confirming Mr. Truby's excellent egg-hiding record. Santa is already well into C-Day preparation and could not be reached. But a spokes-elf was more guarded, going on record as saying "you can be sure we'll be keeping a close eye on the Truby ranch this Christmas to make sure he doesn't have a relapse."
Per the Office of the Tooth Fairy: "Mr. Truby was returning home from a Boy Scout troop meeting with his son yesterday evening when his seven-year-old daughter telephoned him on his cell phone, proudly announcing that the loose tooth she had mentioned at dinner was now in her hand and in its place was a bit of bloody tissue paper. Per protocol, young Miss Truby placed her tooth in a small pink plastic treasure chest, procured from the dentist for just this purpose. And after reading bedtime stories and saying prayers, she put the treasure chest snugly under her pillow.
Over the course of his twelve years of parenting, Mr. Truby had amassed a distinguished record of assistance to the IGFPOMC, helping Santa write notes and even assisting Santa by eating part of the cookies; getting up in the wee hours of the morning to help the Easter Bunny hide eggs and so forth. Unfortunately, Mr. Truby's track record in helping the tooth fairy had been a bit dodgy. He is to be commended for going the extra mile and purchasing his self-adhesive stamps with a $20-bill from the vending machine at the Post Office because the machine gives change in golden $1 coins (the coin preferred by the U.S. branch of the Office of the Tooth Fairy).
But this is now the second time he has failed to put a golden dollar underneath a pillow. I mean really, to see that poor lass sobbing on the couch this morning; it was heart-wrenching. Yes, Mrs. Truby saved the day by "finding" the coin on the floor between Pooh bear and Rudolph, the red-nosed reindeer. But if the IGFPOMC doesn't take some sort of action, what kind of a signal does this send to other parents? We have every confidence that after this reprimand, Mr. Truby will 'get his pixie-dust properly packed and fly right', as we faeries say."
The Easter Bunny issued a statement confirming Mr. Truby's excellent egg-hiding record. Santa is already well into C-Day preparation and could not be reached. But a spokes-elf was more guarded, going on record as saying "you can be sure we'll be keeping a close eye on the Truby ranch this Christmas to make sure he doesn't have a relapse."
