Just a bit of fun. 
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1. Try to remain inconspicous, For example avoid hiring a 7ft tall hairy dog/ape/man as your co-pilot.
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2. If you owe a vindictive gelatinous blob a lot of money, probably best to stay away from his home planet.
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3. You're a smuggler, chances are your going to have to leave places in a hurry, don't leave it to the last minute to check if the hyper-drive works.
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4. If you have acquired a mate's spaceship by beating him at cards, don't be surprised if he's a bit miffed.
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5. Don't expect sympathy from anyone who keeps a monster under a trapdoor in his living room.
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6. Pick a cool smuggler name that doesn't sound like it might be a euphemism for something.
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7. If the state of your wiring puts you in mind of an explosion in a wool factory consider investing in a fire extinguisher.
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8. If you suspect someone may have put a homing device in your ship why not have a shufti around to see if you can find it?
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9. Boasting about the performance of your ship carries more credibility if you don't get units of distance mixed up with units of time.
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10. When being pursued by the law it's safe to assume they won't think of looking for you in the garbage.
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11. When attacked by a scimitar-wielding nutcase, improve your rogue credibility by simply shooting him.
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12. Never trust men with beards (those are the droids they're looking for).
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13. If you manage to acquire an enemy's uniform as a disguise don't abandon it halfway through your escape for no apparent reason.
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14. When murdering someone in a bar always remember to tip the landlord (15% is considered the norm, 10% for a maiming).
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15. Regardless of the language spoken by an alien (or your co-pilot) always respond in English, after all how else are they going to learn?
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16. Remember, in space, no one can get a proper haircut.
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17. And what's with that waistcoat thing? That wasn't even cool in the seventies.
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18. It's all a bit far-fetched if you ask me, I mean what exactly were they supposed to be smuggling? It's not like there were customs posts anywhere they went.
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19. If he's not simply avoiding import duties then he must be smuggling something illegal. It's not guns because he has an obvious, unconcealed weapon and nobody seemed bothered by that. So what does that leave, drugs? Slaves? Powdered rhino horn? And he's supposed to be one of the goodies?
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20. Let's look at the facts, he gets enough money that it has to be moved around in crates, he keeps the ship he won in an illegal card game and he gets the girl who,incidentally, conveniently murders the money lender he is in debt to! All charges dropped, no questions asked. Who says crime doesn't pay.
May the farce be with you.
<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com
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></o>1. Try to remain inconspicous, For example avoid hiring a 7ft tall hairy dog/ape/man as your co-pilot.
<o
></o>2. If you owe a vindictive gelatinous blob a lot of money, probably best to stay away from his home planet.
<o
></o>3. You're a smuggler, chances are your going to have to leave places in a hurry, don't leave it to the last minute to check if the hyper-drive works.
<o
></o>4. If you have acquired a mate's spaceship by beating him at cards, don't be surprised if he's a bit miffed.
<o
></o>5. Don't expect sympathy from anyone who keeps a monster under a trapdoor in his living room.
<o
></o>6. Pick a cool smuggler name that doesn't sound like it might be a euphemism for something.
<o
></o>7. If the state of your wiring puts you in mind of an explosion in a wool factory consider investing in a fire extinguisher.
<o
></o>8. If you suspect someone may have put a homing device in your ship why not have a shufti around to see if you can find it?
<o
></o>9. Boasting about the performance of your ship carries more credibility if you don't get units of distance mixed up with units of time.
<o
></o>10. When being pursued by the law it's safe to assume they won't think of looking for you in the garbage.
<o
></o>11. When attacked by a scimitar-wielding nutcase, improve your rogue credibility by simply shooting him.
<o
></o>12. Never trust men with beards (those are the droids they're looking for).
<o
></o>13. If you manage to acquire an enemy's uniform as a disguise don't abandon it halfway through your escape for no apparent reason.
<o
></o>14. When murdering someone in a bar always remember to tip the landlord (15% is considered the norm, 10% for a maiming).
<o
></o>15. Regardless of the language spoken by an alien (or your co-pilot) always respond in English, after all how else are they going to learn?
<o
></o>16. Remember, in space, no one can get a proper haircut.
<o
></o>17. And what's with that waistcoat thing? That wasn't even cool in the seventies.
<o
></o>18. It's all a bit far-fetched if you ask me, I mean what exactly were they supposed to be smuggling? It's not like there were customs posts anywhere they went.
<o
></o>19. If he's not simply avoiding import duties then he must be smuggling something illegal. It's not guns because he has an obvious, unconcealed weapon and nobody seemed bothered by that. So what does that leave, drugs? Slaves? Powdered rhino horn? And he's supposed to be one of the goodies?
<o
></o>20. Let's look at the facts, he gets enough money that it has to be moved around in crates, he keeps the ship he won in an illegal card game and he gets the girl who,incidentally, conveniently murders the money lender he is in debt to! All charges dropped, no questions asked. Who says crime doesn't pay.
May the farce be with you.
