Signature Challenge.

[Expiry]

Reading a thread here about who has the best signature, I have to concede that Gerald Higgins's is very good (please don't tell him I said that because he's a friend of mine)

=TODAY() is the =TODAY()+1 you worried about =TODAY()-1.

I like it because it's obviously connected with Excel.

The best I could come up with personally, so far, was at Christmas when mine was

And may all your Christmases be RGB(255, 255, 255).

However, here's the challenge for all you guys that are much cleverer than me.

Rewrite the famous Rudyard Kipling poem IF using =IF().

I'm sure I could find a suitable prize in my loft for the best one.

 

[Andrew Fergus]

Hmmm - that seems too long to do in full, but here is a quick attempt at just the last verse:

=If(And(Or(And(IB1 = "talk with crowds", Virtue = TRUE), 
And(IB1 = "walk with Kings", CommonTouch = TRUE)), 
IB2 = "Invincible", Len(Unforgiving_Minute)>0, Distance_Run >=60, 
And(Count(Men)>0, Max(Men)<MAXMEN) p < ), )> < MenLimit))), "Man", "Boy")

Hopefully I got the brackets in the right place! How to destroy a poem......

Andrew

P.S. HTML is altering my formula - hopefully this works

 

[Andrew Fergus]

Whoops - there is an extra bracket after 'MenLimit'. In hindsight I would also change the "Man" part to "Man with Earth".

Andrew

 

[Peter_SSs]

Hmmm - that seems too long to do in full, but here is a quick attempt at just the last verse:

=If(And(Or(And(IB1 = "talk with crowds", Virtue = TRUE), 
And(IB1 = "walk with Kings", CommonTouch = TRUE)), 
IB2 = "Invincible", Len(Unforgiving_Minute)>0, Distance_Run >=60, 
And(Count(Men)>0, Max(Men)<MAXMEN) p < ), )> < MenLimit))), "Man", "Boy")

Hopefully I got the brackets in the right place! How to destroy a poem......

Andrew

P.S. HTML is altering my formula - hopefully this works

Andrew

I am sure you said recently you were very busy - I thought it was with real work!!

 

[Andrew Fergus]

Hi Peter
I know - I saw this thread and couldn't resist given I was elbow deep in something similar from a logic perspective. Helps keep one sane! The html kept mucking up my formula - the last line should read :

And(Count(Men)>0, Max(Men)< MenLimit)), "Man", "Boy")

It took about 5 attempts jut to get the formula in without it truncating or changing it - even then it still wasn't right and it wouldn;t let me edit it any more!

Cheers
Andrew

 

[Peter_SSs]

The html kept mucking up my formula ....
It took about 5 attempts jut to get the formula in without it truncating....

I had a similar thing earlier today. Code kept truncating whether I used "Code" tags, "Quote" tags or nothing. Then I discovered this, which may have solved my problem (though it's annoying to have to deal with it this way and I couldn't easily check because my 10 minutes was up ).

 

[Expiry]

AF, that's a great effort. Next time I'm up in the loft, I'll see what I can find for a prize. I think there's an oversized comedy beret up there. I bet you've not got one of those.

 

[Andrew Fergus]

Au contraire! I have a beret from my days in the Artillery - whether or not it is over-sized depends on who is wearing it. And have you seen the state of the NZ Artillery? Some might say it is extremely comedic.....but not as comedic as the remnants of our air force. If ever we get invaded I think we'll be scrambling eggs.....

Oh my - how to completely destroy a poem! Some might call it 'sacrilege'. I was hoping to use the cell reference UB but that doesn't exist in XL2003 so I had to make do with IB instead. It kinda reminds me of the Baldrick line "we be educated" (or was that edumacated?) - but alas I cannot find any reference to it online so maybe I'm mistaken? I was also going to set the true condition to "grave digger" but thought that might be a little too cryptic!

I believe you are in the UK so I shall duly collect my prize when I am next in your fair country. Speaking of which, that would be next July! I will be making a couple of trips North of London (hopefully to the Foundry miniatures factory as well as Ireland & Scotland) so maybe we can arrange the transfer over a pint.

Cheers
Andrew

P.S. I like your new signature! A little risque.....

 

[Gerald Higgins]

Expiry is too kind, and too modest - he changes his signature often and they're usually very funny - but don't tell him I said that.

Obviously too late to win the prize, and inspired by Andrew Fergus . . .

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch and toss
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss

surely translates to

=IF(RAND()<0.5,"",(win1+win2+win3)*2)

 

[Andrew Fergus]

very clever