Resumé blunders -- enjoy!

[SydneyGeek]

Found this today

Denis

 

[Richard Schollar]

I thought this was hilarious:

Excellent memory; strong math aptitude; excellent memory; effective management skills; and very good at math.

 

[Joe4]

Some pretty funny stuff there...

I have a friend who is sarcastic and painfully blunt. In college he interviewed for a summer job at a local hotel as a bellhop. When they asked him why he was qualified for the job, he responded "Are you kidding me? You could train a monkey to do this job!". Needless to say, he didn't get the job...

 

[Lewiy]

Reason for leaving last job: Pushed aside so the vice president’s girlfriend could steal my job.

Happens to the best of us!!

Married, eight children. Prefer frequent travel.

Richard, you'll be like this one day if you keep popping sprogs! (how is the little one doing by the way?)

 

[Richard Schollar]

Hi Lewiy

Doing very well and putting on weight fast! Thank you for asking

**** noisy though....

 

[NBVC]

Man, there are some classic people out there.....

Please explain any breaks in your employment career: 15 minute coffee break while working at a home improvement store.

 

[MorganO]

While working as a restaurant manager I had a very friendly fellow turn in a work application along with his 'Resume' during our lunch rush. He smiled at me and stated he was really looking forward to working here. I told him I didn't have time at the moment to look over the application and resume so he left.

Later, when things weren't so hectic I took a go of it. The application was impressive: Work in two high class restaurants, assistant to the Chef at one place. The resume, unfortuanately, was a disaster. It was ten, yes TEN pages long! It was a handwritten, auto-biographical account of his work history. The history itself was entertaining yes, but the one thing most sticks in my mind was the photocopied article from a newspaper.

For the life of me I had a hard time figuring out why he included it in his 'Resume.' I finally decided that he included it because, although it was an article about the chef he worked for, he just happened to be standing next to the Chef when the picture for the article was taken!

We had a big laugh about this at the time. And no, I decided against hiring this high-speed gentleman!

 

[PaddyD]

"It was ten, yes TEN pages long"

Cultural issues. In some places, e.g. Germany last time I looked (a few years ago now), it was still common to produce that sort of narative resume. Would work the other way round - submit the 2-page, bullet-pointed version preferred in more Anglo-Saxon economies to someone expecting a story & you also wouldn't get far.

 

[Lewiy]

We had someone apply for a position in my last job who submitted a CV which only served to demonstrate their complete lack of computer literacy and grasp of English, it was most humerous to read through. But the icing on the cake was the description of one of her previous jobs which read (and I kid you not):

"June 2003-July 2003 worked in [local pub], my position was the Kitchen"

 

[Kevlarhead]

A friend of mine (who really didn't get on with his father) set Word's AutoCorrect feature to change Edward (his dad's name) to Eduardo whenever it found it in text. Which was interesting when dad went to rewrite his CV, and didn't notice the changes.