I work with idiots (including me, myself and I) - Pt 1

[Felix Atagong]

Last week Friday in the office we had an attack of the latest Bagle. Our mail viruschecker didn't spot it, although the Biggest Internet Provider in Belgium claims virus signature files are updated every hour (I think that is every hour when it is not raining or freezing or whatever those small letters in their 112 pages contract say).

So I had a phone from my boss: "Felix, there is this file I can't open".
Mr. Boss, it is a virus (well actually a worm).
But it comes from someone I know!
Yes Mr. Boss, that is what these critters do...

I went to his desk and saw that he had opened 'joke.com'. I could just retain myself from quoting from an Interoffice memo from the man standing in front of me that it was forbidden to use the company mail addresses to receive(?!), view, send or forward not work related messages, such as pornography and funny files.

Anyway (and to ensure my readers, our firewall blocked all outgoing Bagle mails, so we didn't send any worms out), I cleaned his PC, sent a warning to everybody not to open if others had come through and went back to my desk.

30 minutes later, our head accountant: "Felix, I think I have pushed on that worm as well". "Why?" "Well, it said price, didn't it?" A few hours later a 'big' manager. "Thought it was an offer." That was only the beginning of a flood of worm clickers who had left their brain at home...

That was a week ago. This morning I had a call from a sales manager. "Felix, there is this file in my mail I can't open." Now I went berserk. Why didn't you delete the file last week from your mail? And why did you click on it as I have been warning all week long for this?

The answer: "You know me, I click on everything!"
I'm gonna get very drunk tonight...

 

[starl]

hmm..
for a bar of Cote D'or, noir de noir, of course - I'll sympathisize

Ever go near Mons or Ghlin?

 

[Bruno_x]

Sterkte....

 

[Felix Atagong]

Re: I work with idiots (including me, myself and I) - Pt 2

When I said that I work with idiots I include myself in that category. Only this morning I wrote a small script to install, update and run a virus checker whenever someone logs in to the main server.

So I mailed to everybody that the virus checker would start functioning on their machine after a new login. It is now close to 1700 and did a check how many people have actually renewed their login.

1

 

[shades]

That many? LOL

 

[Cbrine]

Felix,
Did you give them a set of definitions explaining what new login means. Big colorful pictures and graphics will help to hold short attention spans. I would also suggest you give them step by step instructions on the entire process. After 2-3 hours of work preparing this, you might even be able to push you total number of new logins all the way to 2. That's a 100% increase!!! Can't go wrong with a 100% increase.

Cal

 

[Bruno_x]

Re: I work with idiots (including me, myself and I) - Pt 2

It is now close to 1700 and did a check how many people have actually renewed their login.

1

1 user : is that the guy named Felix ?

 

[Felix Atagong]

Re: I work with idiots (including me, myself and I) - Pt 2

1 user : is that the guy named Felix ?

No, actually I have protected my PC on the job years ago with AntiVirus and a FireWall. All of our employees have computers at home and can go on for ages about their AV, their FW, but at work nobody thinks about safety apparently...

...or about changing the toiletpaper when there is no more...