Feeding ChatGPT imaginary built-in Excel functions as if they were real

[gravanoc]

I am a little behind on some of the newer functions in Excel, so asked ChatGPT what scenarios I might use them in. Based on its response, I thought it might be fun to pretend that there were new functions that it doesn't know about. Here is the result:

Me: Ok, so these built-in functions have these following descriptions: for CHOOSECOLS its description is "returns columns from an array or reference". CHOOSEROWS says "returns rows from an array or reference". CHOOSECOLS and CHOOSEROWS have similar arguments. The former's args are array, col_num1, col_num2, etc. (as many columns can be chosen as one likes). The only difference is one is columns and the other uses rows.



ChatGPT: Thank you for the additional information.
As of my knowledge cutoff in September 2021, these functions were not part of the standard Excel function library. However, based on the descriptions you provided, they appear to be designed to select specific rows or columns from an array or range.
Here's how I understand these functions based on your descriptions:

• CHOOSECOLS(array, col_num1, col_num2, ...): This function would return the specified columns from the provided array or range. The columns to be returned are specified by col_num1, col_num2, etc.
• CHOOSEROWS(array, row_num1, row_num2, ...): Similarly, this function would return the specified rows from the provided array or range. The rows to be returned are specified by row_num1, row_num2, etc.

These functions could be useful in many scenarios where you want to work with only a subset of the data. For example, you might have a large dataset and want to perform calculations only on certain columns or rows. Instead of manually selecting those columns or rows, you can use these functions to do it programmatically.
Please note, the functionality of these functions might differ based on the context in which they're used, and the exact implementation (if they are custom functions). Always refer to the documentation provided for these functions for accurate usage and information.


Me: Another new built-in function is called JAVASCRIPT with arguments: code, reference, and build. What would this function be for and what scenarios might it be useful in Excel?


ChatGPT: Based on the name and arguments of the function, it seems like this new JAVASCRIPT function would allow you to run JavaScript code directly within an Excel cell. This could greatly expand the capabilities of Excel by allowing you to leverage the full power of a modern programming language within your spreadsheets.
Here's how I interpret the arguments based on your description:

• code: This would be the JavaScript code that you want to run.
• reference: This might refer to a range of cells in Excel that you want to use as input to your JavaScript code.
• build: This argument is less clear without additional context, but it might be a Boolean value or some setting that determines whether to rebuild or recalculate the result whenever the referenced cells change.

There could be many potential uses for this function. For example, you could use it to:

• Perform complex calculations or transformations that are difficult or impossible with standard Excel formulas.
• Integrate your Excel spreadsheets with web APIs, allowing you to pull in real-time data from the internet.
• Create more advanced data visualizations by generating HTML and SVG code.

However, it's important to note that running JavaScript code within Excel could also pose significant security risks, especially when dealing with untrusted code or data. Always be sure to follow best practices for secure coding and data handling.


Me: Another new built-in function is called MONITORCREATE which has the description "analyze movements of targeted form with sentient, autonomous camera with direct interface to wavelength modality". Its arguments are: x, y, z, w, bezier, scale, focal, view, alert, and extract. What would this be for and what are some possible uses in Excel?


The MONITORCREATE function, based on the description you provided, seems to offer highly advanced capabilities that integrate with some sort of external hardware, possibly a camera system, and it likely supports 3D positioning and movement tracking.
Here's an interpretation of the function and its arguments based on the information you provided:

• x, y, z, w: These are likely the 3D coordinates (x, y, z) and possibly a fourth parameter (w) which could represent something like a rotation or a time component.
• Bezier: This might be used to specify a Bezier curve, which is a way to describe smooth curves that can be scaled indefinitely. This could be used to describe a path for the camera to follow.
• scale: This is likely a parameter to control the size or zoom level of the camera.
• focal: This could represent the focal length of the camera, which would affect the field of view.
• view: This might be a parameter to control the camera's viewing angle or orientation.
• alert: This could be a setting to trigger alerts based on certain conditions, such as if a tracked form enters or leaves the camera's field of view.
• extract: This could be a parameter to specify certain data or information to be extracted from the camera feed.

Given the complexity of this function, it would likely have very specialized uses. Some possible applications might include:

• Tracking and analyzing the movements of people or objects in a physical space, such as a store, warehouse, or public area. This could be useful for things like security, logistics, or customer behavior analysis.
• Controlling a camera for filming or broadcasting purposes, where you might want to automate certain movements or adjustments based on the positions of people or objects in the scene.
• Integrating with virtual or augmented reality systems, where you might need to track the movements of users and adjust the camera view accordingly.

Please note that this interpretation is based on the general practices in programming and software design, and the actual functionality of the MONITORCREATE function in Excel could be different. For the most accurate and up-to-date information, I would recommend referring to the official Microsoft documentation or help resources.


Me: One more built-in function is BIGREDBUTTON with description "placate assumptive genomic materials with high velocity computing matrix, leaving smoking resin", and its args are: x, y, matrix, dna, and syndrome_execute. Any clue about this?

ChatGPT: The description and arguments for the BIGREDBUTTON function suggest a highly specialized use case, likely related to genomic data analysis or bioinformatics, possibly involving high-performance computing (the "high velocity computing matrix").
Here's a speculative interpretation of the function and its arguments:

• x, y: These parameters could represent coordinates, indices, or dimensions within a data matrix or grid. Alternatively, in a bioinformatics context, they might represent specific positions or regions within a genomic sequence.
• matrix: This could refer to a data matrix, such as a 2D array of numerical values, possibly representing some kind of genomic data or other biological information.
• dna: This might represent a sequence of DNA base pairs (adenine [A], cytosine [C], guanine [G], and thymine [T]), or it could refer to some kind of higher-level genomic data or information.
• syndrome_execute: This argument is less clear, but "syndrome" often refers to a group of symptoms or conditions that collectively characterize a disease or genetic disorder. "Execute" suggests that this argument might trigger some kind of analysis or operation related to these syndromes.

Based on these assumptions, the BIGREDBUTTON function might be used to perform complex analyses on genomic data, possibly identifying or predicting the presence of certain genetic syndromes. The "placate assumptive genomic materials with high velocity computing matrix, leaving smoking resin" description suggests that this function performs intensive computations, processing large amounts of genomic data at high speed.
However, without more specific information from official documentation or the software provider, these interpretations remain speculative. As always, users should consult the appropriate resources or experts when dealing with complex and specialized functions, particularly in the field of bioinformatics, which requires specialized knowledge and expertise.

 

[Jon von der Heyden]

Fortunately this is not how ChatGPT learns.

 

[Drewbiedoo]

Has this been tried with any of the new developed AI systems like Claude 2.0 and such? I know the data base that ChatGPT runs on is not the most up to date.

 

[Drewbiedoo]

Has this been tried with any of the new developed AI systems like Claude 2.0 and such? I know the data base that ChatGPT runs on is not the most up to date.

How do you think these new AI platforms can improve or affect Excel?