European Union

[Glaswegian]

Now that the tone has been set..........

Us Brits are always very wary of edicts that come from the EU, so this seems approriate...

"The European Union commissioners have announced that agreement has been reached to adopt English as the preferred language for European communications, rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of negotiations, her Majesty Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five-year phased plan for what will be known as EuroEnglish (Euro for short).

In the first year, "s" will be used instead of the soft "c". Sertainly, sivil servants will reseive this news with joy. Also, the hard "c" will be replased with "k". Not only will this klear up konfusion, but typewriters kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replased by "f". This will make words like "fotograf" 20 per sent shorter.

In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters, which have always been a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of silent "e"s in the languag is disgraful, and they would go.

By the forth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" by "z" and "w" by "v". During ze fifz year ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.

After zis fifz year, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trobls or difikultis and evrivum vil find it ezi tu understand ech ozer. Ze drem vil finali kum tru."

 

[Smitty]

U haf bn vry, vry bad!

So vil ve haf to replase de Euro as kurency?

That makes me want to pull out "Young FronkenSTEEN" again!

Zmitty

 

[Legacy 21301]

It's a frightening thought.
They could well even insist on correct grammar, which might cause Glaswegian some problems.

 

[Smitty]

Nice to see you again Ponsy!

Smitty

 

[Glaswegian]

i didnt think i had any problems with my grammar however my spelling can be a bit dodgy sometimes but not always only when i type very quickly which is not often of course instead i just try to tipe more slower and not so faster that i make mistakes lots of times so i dont beleave this to being a major problem thanks

 

[Legacy 21301]

i didnt think i had any problems with my grammar

Which is why I think you will have problems.
(I'm not referring to "typos")

 

[Glaswegian]

I was hoping that I had used a pinch of sarcasm in my previous post, but, perhaps I did not.

I will increase my efforts in future.

Ponsy, thank you for your interest.

 

[Legacy 21301]

Yes, I noted your sarcasm with much admiration.
But where is your grammatical slip (or should that be "Der Fehler") ?

 

[Glaswegian]

With the large number of ever more ridiculous rules pouring forth from the EU, anything is possible. Even a ban on sarcasm! There was even an attempt at declaring the correct shape of a banana!

No sign of the Euro yet, but you never know what the future holds.

Maybe we should return to bartering - I'm sure that would be more fun!

 

[Legacy 21301]

I think that us would probably enjoy it (the bartering I mean).