bovine economics

[whiteghost]

very possibly a very old one but I still think it's funny
> >Economics explained in Cows:
> >
> >SOCIALISM:
> >You have 2 cows; You give one to your neighbour.
> >
> >COMMUNISM:
> >You have 2 cows; The Government takes both and gives you some milk.
> >
> >FACISM:
> >You have 2 cows; The Government takes both and sells you some milk.
> >
> >NAZISM:
> >You have 2 cows; The Government takes both and shoots you.
> >
> >EUROPEAN BUREAUCRATISM:
> >You have 2 cows; The Government takes both, shoots one, milks the
other,
> >and then throws the milk away.
> >
> >TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM:
> >You have 2 cows; You sell one and buy a bull. Your Herd multiplies,
and
> >the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.
> >
> >AN AMERICAN CORPORATION:
> >You have 2 cows. You sell one and force the other one to produce the
> >milk of 4 cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow
> >dropped dead.
> >
> >A FRENCH CORPORATION:
> >You have 2 cows: You go on strike because you want 3 cows.
> >
> >A JAPANESE CORPORATION:
> >You have 2 cows. You redesign them so they are 1/10 the size of an
> >ordinary cow, and produce the milk of 20 cows. You then create a
clever
> >cow cartoon image called cowkimon and market them worldwide.
> >
> >A GERMAN CORPORATION:
> >You have 2 cows. You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat

> >once a month and milk themselves.
> >
> >AN ITALIAN CORPORATION:
> >You have 2 cows, but you don't know where they are. You break for
lunch.
> >
> >A RUSSIAN CORPORATION:
> >You have 2 cows. You count them and learn that you have 5 cows. You
> >count them again and learn that you have 42 cows. You count them
again
> >and learn that you have 2 cows. You stop counting cows and open
another
> >bottle of Vodka.
> >
> >A SWISS CORPORATION:
> >You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you. You charge others
for
> >storing them.
> >
> >A CHINESE CORPORATION:
> >You have 2 cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full
> >employment, high Bovine productivity, and arrest the journalist who
> >reported the numbers.
> >
> >AN INDIAN CORPORATION:
> >You have 2 cows. You worship them.
> >
> >A BRITISH CORPORATION:
> >You have 2 cows. Both are mad.
> >
>

 

[Smitty]

And it goes on: http://corry.ws/CorryBook-62.htm

And:

TALIBAN CORPORATION
You have all the cows in Afghanistan, which are two.
You don't milk them because you cannot touch any creature' private parts.
You get a $40 million grant from the US government to find alternatives to milk production but use the money to buy weapons.

IRAQI CORPORATION
You have two cows.
They go into hiding.
They send radio tapes of their mooing.

POLISH CORPORATION
You have two bulls.
Employees are regularly maimed and killed attempting to milk them.

BELGIAN CORPORATION
You have one cow.
The cow is schizophrenic.
Sometimes the cow thinks he's French, other times he's Flemish. The Flemish cow won't share with the French cow.
The French cow wants control of the Flemish cow's milk.
The cow asks permission to be cut in half.
The cow dies happy.

And finally:

CALIFORNIA CORPORATION
You have millions of cows.
They make real California cheese.
Only five speak English.
Most are illegals.
Arnold likes the ones with the big udders.

Smitty

 

[whiteghost]

that last one has ...."shade of micheal moore" having said that i'll shelter behind a rock until Smitty regains composure...llol

 

[erik.van.geit]

Smitty,

BELGIAN CORPORATION
You have one cow.
The cow is schizophrenic.
Sometimes the cow thinks he's French, other times he's Flemish.

reading this a cow in Belgium is not only schizophrenic but also MALE

regards,
Erik

 

[Smitty]

that last one has ...."shade of micheal moore" having said that i'll shelter behind a rock until Smitty regains composure...llol

Nah, Michael Moore (being a cow himself), would probably argue, along with Bush, that all of the illegal cows should get amnesty, because Vicente Fox is a really nice guy (who cares so much for his cows that he wants all of them here) and, despite getting to go to school for free and having free health care & benefits, the "real California cheese" that they provide through their hard work, benefits all of us who pay for it. Moore would also insist that the illegal cows be given free driving lessons and licenses, so that they could get to work safely to make sure that flow of milk was uninterrupted.

What what Louie Farrakhan say? Oh yeah, Bush blew up the New Orleans levees, so that California milk would have an opportunity to undermine the lucrative cow trade in Louisiana...(Gotta love Louie! )

Erik: as for the "he" in the Belgian "cow" part, would that have anything to do with the schitzophrenia?

Smitty

Personally, I'm with Arnie!

 

[Mr_Stability]

And for the EU (European Union)

The EU
The government pays you not to milk the cows, then fines you for not paying tax on the cheese you didn't make with the milk you haven't got.

 

[Felix Atagong]

BELGIAN CORPORATION
You have one cow. The cow is schizophrenic.
Sometimes the cow thinks he's French, other times he's Flemish.

reading this a cow in Belgium is not only schizophrenic but also MALE

Probably that is because the cow's first name is Elio, Erik...