40 THINGS YOU'D LOVE TO SAY OUT LOUD AT WORK

Cbrine

Well-known Member
Joined
Dec 2, 2003
Messages
3,196
I had this sent to me a couple of days ago, and got a few chuckles from it, as you can see from my tag line. Thought I should share.

Cal

PS-A few members might especially enjoy #8. :o :-D

1. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of ****.
2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
3. How about never? Is never good for you?
4. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
5. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to see it my way.
6. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.
7. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message.
8. I don't work here. I'm a consultant.
9. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a **** word you're saying.
10. Ahhh...I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again.
11. I like you. You remind me of myself when I was young and stupid.
12. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
13. I have plenty of talent and vision; I just don't give a ****.
14. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
15. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
16. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
17. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.
18. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
19. What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?
20. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.
21. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.
22. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.
23. And your crybaby whiny-assed opinion would be...?
24. Do I look like a people person?
25. This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.
26. I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.
27. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
28. If I throw a stick, will you leave?
29. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
30. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
31. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
32. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.
33. Can I trade this job for what's behind door #1?
34. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
35. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
36. Chaos, panic, & disorder-my work here is done.
37. How do I set a laser printer to stun?
38. I thought I wanted a career; turns out I just wanted a salary.
39. Who lit the fuse on your tampon?
40. Oh I get it... like humor... but different
 

Excel Facts

Enter current date or time
Ctrl+: enters current time. Ctrl+; enters current date. Use Ctrl+: Ctrl+; Enter for current date & time.
Actually, since yesterday I've been dying to say to the guy currently using the desk(s) behind mine: take the 5 seconds or so to blow your nose already.

I am *so* disgusted/tired of hearing this guy snot-snort all day. It seems to be about every 10 seconds or so. *shudder*
 
And....

42. When you said you went to University, presumably it was to be studied by others.
43. Don't torture yourself. That's my job!

Andrew
 
I wanna know how to set a laser printer to stun!!!!!!!! it should optimize productivity,

**** lost my specs again
 
:laugh: Yes, I like #23.
Afraid I'm gonna have to print this off & memorize most of 'em.

(whiteghost, you ain't been messin' with my printer now, have you?) :eek2:
 
#44 - There's no such thing as a stupid question, just a stupid person asking it.

#'s 35 & 39 are especially appropriate around here. :)
Smitty
 

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