# About time I grew up, I suppose... *:(



## Ruddles (Aug 19, 2011)

I'm connected to a remote workstation at the far end of the office. I needed to run some fairly chunky Access reports and I didn't want to tie my machine up.

Whilst half the office were out to lunch I opened up a VBA _Immediate_ window on the remote machine and typed *Application.Speech.Speak "Help! I'm trapped in this computer!"*.

The woman at the desk next to it nearly freaked out!


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## sous2817 (Aug 19, 2011)

I was advised that having my Excel application say "You're quite good at turning me on" when the user started it was deemed inappropriate by our HR representative....


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## SuperFerret (Aug 19, 2011)

Classic!

It's a shame some companies have to spoil the fun. I've seen some amazing things done in Excel, and some places shouldn't take themselves so seriously.

I had a spreadsheet once I named Dave, that was deemed inappropriate...somehow...and I told them they'd have to pay for the Deed-Poll if they didn't like it. Actually got a smile out my manager for that


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## Thorin (Aug 19, 2011)

I used to have my phone set to play the mission impossible theme tune whenever it rang.

Whilst working on a project on a customers site, it rang and the customer wasn't happy and complained to my boss ! 

Needless to say I had to replace it with something else !!


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## SuperFerret (Aug 19, 2011)

Thorin said:


> I used to have my phone set to play the mission impossible theme tune whenever it rang.


 
It's a bit harsh making you change that!

I used to have the death march play whenever work rang me...


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## Thorin (Aug 19, 2011)

Like it.

My boss wasn't happy with the customer, and thought my ring tone was kind of funny. But to keep the peace it was considered best to change it.


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## Jon von der Heyden (Aug 19, 2011)

I had a colleague who used to have the Crazy Frog ring tone.  It really drove me nuts especially when he would leave his mobile on his desk and step out for a bit. 

So I had a T-shirt specially made with a picture of Crazy frog hanging by a noose, a bullet hole in the head and a blood stained wall behind.  The caption read 'Crazy Frog Croaked'.  It actually worked because a day or so after I wore it to the office he changed his ring tone (to Californication by RHCP if memory serves - which was great ).

Ring ding ding ding praaap praarp praarp draaarp braap braap braap wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.............


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## RobMatthews (Aug 21, 2011)

SuperFerret said:


> I used to have the death march play whenever work rang me...


 I also used this; i discovered that i wound up dreading speaking to my boss though, for no reason...


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## SuperFerret (Aug 22, 2011)

RobMatthews said:


> I also used this; i discovered that i wound up dreading speaking to my boss though, for no reason...


 
Yes, I did change it eventually, but not before changing jobs!

I'd love a bit more freedom to have fun here, there are an awful of of solumn faces in here every day, be nice to cheer folk up


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## Greg Truby (Aug 22, 2011)

sous2817 said:


> I was advised that having my Excel application say "You're quite good at turning me on" when the user started it was deemed inappropriate by our HR representative....


 
Perhaps if you'd had it play a Barry White .wav file to set the mood first HR might have been more open-minded? 


At my previous employer they put together an online expense reporting system that required (a) a reason for the overall trip and then (b) made "reason" a *required* field at the line-item detail level as well. Since I had explained the purpose of the trip in the header, for the line detail for _hotel_ I put "because they wouldn't let me take a tent on the plane". For the "reason" for _airfare_ I put "because it's too darned far to walk".

When I was asked about this, I explained that (a) if the finance team wasn't going to take this seriously and was going to waste time and resources asking for ridiculous information, I figured a bit of silliness was just what the doctor'd ordered and (b) the poor guys that had to read through hundreds of these a week might just get a smile out of my responses. Needless to say, I was asked to edit my responses and re-submit the report before it could be forwarded to the Finance department for approval.

And yes, I did all of this _after_ I had learned that the company was closing our facility and that I was going to lose my job in a few months anyhow.  I'm not 100% daft, only >99%...


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## Expiry (Sep 14, 2011)

We have a spreadsheet that's a list of all staff owned vehicles, so that the nazis in security can come and tell us when we've parked in the wrong space.

It gets sent round every couple of months for us all to update. It's very simple. A column for your name, vehicle make and model and registration. I added another column one day for Car's 'Pet' name and I made one up for my car (Bertie, or something), to get the ball rolling.

I looked back a week later and nearly half the people had actually put one in. It was hilarious. Until someone then removed the column again. Booo!


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## barry houdini (Sep 14, 2011)

Back in the good old days we often had the option to work for paid overtime - there was a form with a column for "Reason" - if you entered "pays for the new extension....." that was frowned upon.

[PS I have a car called "Brian"]


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## SuperFerret (Sep 14, 2011)

We have one of those with peoples car details on, not that it ever gets used when people's car's get sprayed with oil from the air conditioning unit... it was my car (nicknamed _'Spikovich')_
An email went round - _"To the owner of the Blue Nissan Micra Reg blah blah"_

Why have these things at all if they aren't going to even be used?


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## Expiry (Sep 14, 2011)

SuperFerret said:


> We have one of those with peoples car details on, not that it ever gets used when people's car's get sprayed with oil from the air conditioning unit... it was my car (nicknamed _'Spikovich')_
> An email went round - _"To the owner of the Blue Nissan Micra Reg blah blah"_
> 
> Why have these things at all if they aren't going to even be used?



You can't call yourself Superferret if you drive a Nissan Micra.


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## SuperFerret (Sep 14, 2011)

What's wrong with the Nissan Micra?!  It's the car of champions!


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## Expiry (Sep 14, 2011)

As soon as I posted that I thought "I should be quiet. I drive a mini".


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## Gerald Higgins (Sep 14, 2011)

Expiry, didn't you once own a slightly embarassing car ?

Edited to add - I don't mean the mini - I think the mini is OK.


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## SuperFerret (Sep 14, 2011)

Expiry said:


> As soon as I posted that I thought "I should be quiet. I drive a mini".


 
Classic Mini or New Mini ?


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## Expiry (Sep 15, 2011)

New mini - clubman. I can fit a washing machine in it, apparantly. I haven't tried, though.

Gerald, I did once own a car that was embarrassing to others. Not to me. It was awesome. A Reliant 'Super' Robin.

The 'Super' is important because the 'Super' was 850cc and it had a cigarette lighter.


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## SuperFerret (Sep 15, 2011)

I'm not so keen on the New Mini's... give me a Classic Mini Cooper any day!

A Reliant 'Super' Robin eh? Yeah that's certainly embarrassing  
Once went to a festival and some people from the tent next to us went Reliant Robin Tipping during the night...


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## Gerald Higgins (Sep 15, 2011)

Suitable cars for spreadsheet fans . . . 

Audi A1 (and the rest of the A_n_ series)
Citroen C1 (and the rest of the C_n_ series)
Aston Martin DB7 (and the rest of the DB_n_ series)
Range Rover
=MIN(I)
Lotus

Any more ?


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## SuperFerret (Sep 15, 2011)

Gerald Higgins said:


> Suitable cars for spreadsheet fans . . .
> 
> Audi A1 (and the rest of the A_n_ series)
> Citroen C1 (and the rest of the C_n_ series)
> ...


 
BMW M5? Oh to earn enough for one of those


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## Expiry (Sep 15, 2011)

Surely no-one on here would drive a Lotus?

How big would your spreadsheet have to be to include a TR7?


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## arkusM (Sep 15, 2011)

Or the RX7?
Though might be relativly easy to have an S2000


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## Expiry (Sep 15, 2011)

What about a MacLaren F1, or indeed, any FORMULA 1 car.


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