# The annoying in-the-stream ads



## MrExcel (Nov 3, 2006)

I've been getting calls from a company that puts ads right in the text of a webpage. I tested one static page and they seem both amusing and annoying. 

They are amusing because they pick the stupidest words to use. In the disclaimer at the bottom of some pages, I have a disclaimer that I don't guarantee the "fitness for your app", and that generated an ad for a workout place.

If you will, I would like to run the ads in the Lounge 2.0 forum for the weekend, just to see how they work. I will promise that I won't expand them to the whole board.  I will send a free autographed book to who ever can post the reply to this post that generates the most ridiculous ad. I am intrigued by the technology, but in my initial views of them, they are not as targeted as the Google ads.

Bill


----------



## MrExcel (Nov 3, 2006)

There you go - I already have an early lead, with the word fitness leading to an ad for senior golfers. I am sure that MrExcel is loaded with senior citizen golfers...


----------



## Richard Schollar (Nov 3, 2006)

Bill

How do you get the link into a post?  Is it simply hit and miss about whether the software chooses to insert an advert based on the textual content of the post?


EDIT: Ah yes I see! So it is based on the content and thus relevant words maybe even including excel or access or microsoft or even linux could also work?


----------



## Domski (Nov 3, 2006)

Stop it, please!!!!!


----------



## MrExcel (Nov 3, 2006)

Right - the software chooses which words might be keywords. 
Tennis elbow or jello recipe might be words that the software likes, or maybe not. It looks like there is no logic to say that this is a page basically about sports and not a page about medicine, so you might get any type of ad mixed together. If the technology was smart, it would see Las Vegas and start proposing tennis facilities in Nevada. But I suspect that the software is just looking for one keyword and not paying attention to the context of the keyword.

Dom - Trust me, they won't stay for long. You should not be seeing them anywhere except for the Lounge, and they will disappear by Monday.


----------



## Richard Schollar (Nov 3, 2006)

OK, let's give this a whirl then:

"abbey 
abdomen 
abettor 
aborigine 
academic 
accordion 
accountant 
accuser 
ace 
acid 
acne 
acre 
adage 
adult 
affection 
afterlife 
aggressor 
agnostic 
ailment 
airport 
album 
alcove 
ale 
alibi 
allegory 
alley 
alloy 
allure 
almanac 
ammonia 
amulet 
ancestry 
annex 
another 
anyplace 
apex 
apocalypse 
appendix 
arbiter 
ardor 
arson 
artist 
assistant 
astronomy 
attorney 
auger 
automation 
avalanche 
axle 
babe 
baby 
backpack 
band 
bandanna 
bandit 
banister 
barrel 
batch 
beach 
beast 
bedding 
beer 
belfry 
bevy 
bigot 
birthmark 
blackmail 
blasphemy 
bliss 
blossom 
bonfire 
boss 
bottleneck 
bough 
boyfriend 
breast 
breeze 
broker 
bruise 
budget 
bullet 
bunch 
byte 
byword 
cab 
cabin 
cadre 
cafeteria 
cage 
camper 
can 
canoe 
canopy 
cap 
capture 
card 
catcall 
category 
celebrity 
chair 
chamber 
charlatan 
chief 
chum 
city 
claw 
clerk 
cliffhanger 
closet 
cluster 
cobweb 
coffee 
coffin 
colleague 
comedian 
commodity 
community 
complement 
conceit 
congress 
container 
contract 
core 
corps 
costume 
coward 
crease 
crook 
cuff 
curator 
cushion 
cyberspace 
cyst 
dad 
dairy 
dancer 
date 
daybook 
dealer 
decoy 
deformity 
deity 
demography 
demonstrator 
dent 
depiction 
deputy 
desert 
desperado 
detention 
devil 
dignity 
dinner 
directive 
disaster 
disclaimer 
disease 
dispatch 
dissidence 
diva 
dock 
doctrine 
dog 
dogma 
dome 
donor 
dormitory 
downlink 
dress 
drink 
drudge 
dungeon 
dye 
dynamo 
dynasty 
ear 
earnings 
ebb 
economy 
effects 
egg 
elation 
election 
elite 
emissary 
empathy 
enclosure 
ending 
engineer 
enigma 
enthusiast 
entrails 
entrant 
epic 
epicurean 
evasion 
event 
evidence 
example 
excerpt 
exclusion 
expenditure 
explosive 
eyesight 
eyewitness 
fable 
face 
facsimile 
factory 
faithlessness 
fan 
fascism 
fascist 
fatherland 
ferry 
feud 
fever 
fighter 
finances 
fireworks 
fixation 
flat 
flaw 
fluid 
folks 
fondness 
foresight 
formula 
foyer 
franchise 
freeway 
fruit 
fuel 
furvor 
futon 
fuzz 
gala 
gas 
gash 
gathering 
gem 
gesture 
ghoul 
giant 
gimmick 
glossary 
glut 
governor 
gown 
grandeur 
grange 
graveyard 
group 
grump 
guidebook 
gun 
guru 
guy 
hacienda 
hail 
hairstyle 
hamper 
hangover 
harbinger 
hardware 
harmony 
hate 
health 
heritage 
hijacker 
hinge 
hitch 
hobo 
homicide 
horse 
human 
humorist 
husk 
hypocrite 
hysteria 
ice 
icon 
idea 
ideal 
idol 
imbecile 
implement 
incident 
incubus 
individuality 
information 
injury 
insanity 
insomnia 
instinct 
interior 
intermission 
introspection 
invasion 
investigation 
isolation 
item 
itinerary 
jacket 
jail 
jailer 
jam 
jar 
joker 
journal 
jug 
jungle 
junk 
jurist 
juvenile 
keeper 
keepsake 
key 
keystone 
kingdom 
kismet 
kit 
klutz 
knack 
knoll 
knowledge 
kook 
kudos 
laboratory 
laborer 
labyrinth 
lap 
latch 
lattice 
lawn 
lawsuit 
laziness 
leader 
leaf 
league 
leash 
lectern 
legacy 
lemon 
lesion 
lexicon 
liar 
library 
lid 
limbo 
link 
logic 
loser 
lounge 
lunatic 
madhouse 
madness 
magic 
malpractice 
malady 
manacle 
maniac 
marsh 
masquerade 
matrix 
maverick 
mecca 
medal 
mercenary 
merchant 
mirth 
miscellany 
misfit 
mishap 
mistake 
mogul 
mold 
mosaic 
motto 
movie 
museum 
mystery 
mystique 
nanny 
narrator 
nationality 
necessity 
neophyte 
nerve 
network 
newsletter 
nip 
nominee 
nook 
nosh 
notary 
nucleus 
nugget 
nun 
nurse 
nurture 
nutrient 
nylons 
nymph 
oaf 
objection 
obstruction 
occlusion 
odor 
office 
omen 
oomph 
opinion 
optimist 
oration 
ordinance 
orientation 
orphan 
outdoors 
outfit 
outlaw 
outsider 
overtone 
overview 
owner 
paddle 
page 
pageant 
paint 
pan 
pants 
parish 
passenger 
pastor 
patchwork 
pavillion 
pedigree 
penitentiary 
perdition 
perfume 
personnel 
pet 
phantom 
philosopher 
philosophy 
phobia 
physician 
piffle 
pill 
plaster 
plaza 
pocket 
podium 
poet 
poker 
politics 
portal 
portrait 
posterity 
powder 
praise 
predestination 
pregnancy 
preview 
prison 
progression 
proposal 
prosperity 
psychology 
psychopath 
pulp 
puppet 
pushover 
pyramid 
quack 
quagmire 
qualm 
quantity 
quarrel 
query 
queue 
quibble 
quiet 
quilt 
quota 
radio 
radical 
radius 
rainbow 
ranch 
ransom 
rapture 
rascal 
rash 
rat 
rationale 
ray 
receptacle 
recluse 
record 
referee 
region 
religion 
remorse 
reproduction 
residence 
retort 
revenue 
rhythm 
ritual 
road 
roster 
route 
routine 
rubbish 
ruffian 
ruin 
ruler 
runt 
sadness 
saga 
sale 
salvation 
sample 
sanity 
savior 
scenery 
schedule 
scrutiny 
reasoning 
secret 
sector 
seer 
semester 
series 
sermon 
shame 
shell 
shield 
shoe 
shopper 
shuttle 
silence 
silhouette 
singer 
site 
skin 
skit 
sled 
slogan 
smoke 
snitch 
socialite 
solace 
solitude 
span 
species 
speck 
spectator 
speed 
spiral 
spoof 
spray 
stem 
stomach 
storeroom 
stripe 
student 
style 
suburb 
successor 
summary 
supplies 
swamp 
swindler 
synagogue 
synergy 
tableware 
tact 
tag 
tail 
tailor 
talent 
tariff 
task 
tavern 
team 
technique 
telegram 
tempo 
temptation 
tenant 
terminology 
theme 
theory 
thrill 
tiff 
timetable 
tongue 
torpor 
tower 
tradition 
translator 
treasury 
troupe 
trousers 
tundra 
tutor 
twaddle 
twilight 
tycoon 
tyrant 
tyro 
undercurrent 
underdog 
understudy 
underworld 
unification 
universe 
upset 
upshot 
utensil 
utility 
utopia 
vacancy 
vacation 
vacuum 
vagrant 
valley 
vegetable 
verdict 
verse 
victim 
viewpoint 
virtue 
virus 
visitor 
vocation 
volition 
voodoo 
voucher 
wager 
waif 
wall 
wanderer 
warehouse 
warlock 
warning 
water 
weakness 
wealth 
weapon 
wedge 
whirlpool 
whiz 
widget 
winter 
woman 
worker 
wrinkle 
writer 
xanadu 
x-ray 
yacht 
yard 
years 
yesterday 
yokel 
youth 
zeal 
zero 
zit 
zone 
"


----------



## Richard Schollar (Nov 3, 2006)

Hmm

Seems to have a restricted result set: it selected acne both times I posted (with and without the new lines & carriage returns).

Of course, this was only a sample of nouns.  It will be interesting to see how this plays out.  Is it only me, or does everybody else notice a performance hit as a result of the software applying the hyperlinks?


----------



## shades (Nov 3, 2006)

Or maybe it is words in context that helps the software? So a list wouldn't be as effective as real text passages.

But then again, Bill, I am just old (not a golfer).


----------



## MrExcel (Nov 3, 2006)

I wonder if there is some limit, such as they only put the ads in the top nn,nnn bytes of the page?  Because nothing in the list beyond the A's was flagged.

Also - the code is 10 lines of javascript embedded before the /Body tag of the page - so the page should load, and then the ads should appear.

It is fascinating technology, but they really seemed to have done a poor job of implementing it.


----------



## Oaktree (Nov 3, 2006)

Hi, Bill.

I noticed that when you refresh the page, their software changes the site the hyperlink directs you to.  

A couple of refreshes on this page point your fitness word to a gym or, my personal favorite, a scooter cupholder here:

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?MfcISAPICommand=ViewItem&item=7216077704

If THAT is the site their software refers someone supposedly interested in fitness to, I think they have a LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG way to go on their software


----------



## Oorang (Nov 4, 2006)

Macrame Segway Chum Ninja Training Camp Doggie Sweaters Steak Substitute Meaty Flakes Dandruff  Personal Hygiene Feminine Product Feminine Hygiene Tiny Car Cow Discipline Lord Catholic Encyclopedia  Copper Spy Logger Security Scanner Blocker Booster Boost Enhance Lengthen Safety Output Geek Flu Beach Comb VD Test VD Disease Tickle Psychological Profile Sheep Shears Shark Dude Star Rockstar MrExcel ******* Pickle Creamy Diet Scales Weight Schmooze Schmooze Real Estate Mortgage Tax Tax Sale

I like www.createmyschedule.com (from feminine product)



> Welcome to CreateMySchedule!
> The first to provide regular shipment of feminine products to women everywhere


----------



## erik.van.geit (Nov 5, 2006)

Jesus, if you don't control what those links will point to, you'ld better close the board (at least) for young members

kind regards,
Erik

EDIT: no links in this post but my country was selected (next to "location")


----------



## HalfAce (Nov 5, 2006)

And after all the pop-up blockers in use,   from loading page 1 of this thread I've just been chosen to receive a free plasma TV! – Lucky me.
(Now what would I want with a TV made of blood???)

Oh, and just by loading page 2 I got a site for tampon comparisons!
A coincidence? (hmm . . .)

(And on the 'reply' screen here, both Font & HTML have been turned into links.)

I can see where this could be fun but I agree, the fun factor is outweighed by the annoyance factor.


----------



## Oorang (Nov 6, 2006)

racial racist democrat republican star wars Disney fluffy furry food chewy money monkey mule vote voter voter fraud get involved environment environmental environmentalist green green peace peace corp military go army McDonalds Wendy’s burger king jack in the box cow horse book books VBA Excel Microsoft Ruby Assembler C C++ C# MCSE MSO Oracle DB2 certificate certification learn Linux unix minix charitable charity charities donate donation get involved active activist


Is it turned off?


----------



## MrExcel (Nov 6, 2006)

OK - Thanks for playing!  I think the winners are:
OakTree for the Scooter Cupholder (in response to the word Fitness!?)
Oorang for the CreateMySchedule software...

I've asked Smozgur to turn off the functionality in the Lounge, so if anyone is reading this after November 6, they will think we are insane.  Maybe I can enable it in the Wik, so that if anyone wants to play, they can play there.

Oak and Oorang, for your prize, you can choose:
1) Any of the Holy Macro! books sold in the MrExcel store
2) A scooter cupholder

Drop me a note - use this e-mail... store at-sign mrexcel.com and let me know where to ship your book or cupholder.


----------



## Richard Schollar (Nov 6, 2006)

> Oh, and just by loading page 2 I got a site for tampon comparisons!
> ~HalfAce



Ah, but did you find it useful, and did you buy anything?


----------



## PaddyD (Nov 6, 2006)

FYI, at time of posting I still get an in-stream link from the sign-in page.


----------



## erik.van.geit (Nov 6, 2006)

> FYI, at time of posting I still get an in-stream link from the sign-in page.


I was about to post the same here
still a "double-lined-link" ("password") at this time


----------



## HalfAce (Nov 6, 2006)

> > Oh, and just by loading page 2 I got a site for tampon comparisons!
> > ~HalfAce
> 
> 
> ...



Most useful indeed! (I get really bad nose bleeds.)


----------



## Richard Schollar (Nov 7, 2006)

> Most useful indeed! (I get really bad nose bleeds.)



I always wondered what those two little strings dangling from your nose were...


----------



## erik.van.geit (Nov 7, 2006)

> I always wondered what those two little strings dangling from your nose were...


you guys inspired me     

```
Option Explicit

Private Declare Sub Sleep Lib "kernel32" (ByVal dwMilliseconds As Long)

Sub bleeding_nose()
'Erik Van Geit
'061107
Dim AWVRH As Integer
Dim AWVRW As Integer

Dim Sh As Shape
Dim TP As Double
Dim LP As Double
Dim ShH As Integer
Dim ShW As Integer
Dim ShClear As Shape

Dim WB As Workbook
Dim NoHarm As Boolean

Dim i As Integer

'if NoHarm is True then pressing escape will "undo" the macro
'if NoHarm is False you should stay in the neighbourhood ! :-)
NoHarm = True

    If NoHarm Then
    Application.ScreenUpdating = False
    ActiveSheet.Copy
    Set WB = ActiveWorkbook
    Application.ScreenUpdating = True
    Else
    'if any problems, you can find this file in same directory
    Set WB = ActiveWorkbook
    WB.SaveCopyAs Left(WB.FullName, Len(WB.FullName) - 4) & " no bled.xls"
    End If

Application.EnableCancelKey = xlErrorHandler
On Error GoTo StopBleeding

AWVRH = ActiveWindow.VisibleRange.Height * 0.95
AWVRW = ActiveWindow.VisibleRange.Width * 0.95

    Do
    Randomize Timer
    LP = Rnd * AWVRW + AWVRW * 0.025
    TP = Rnd * AWVRH + AWVRH * 0.025
    ShH = 4 * Rnd + 5
    ShW = 4 * Rnd + 5
    
        With WB.ActiveSheet.Shapes
            Select Case Rnd
            Case 0 To 0.6
            Set Sh = .AddShape(msoShapeExplosion1, LP, TP, ShW, ShH)
            Case 0.6 To 0.8
            Set Sh = .AddShape(msoShapeExplosion2, LP, TP, ShW, ShH)
            Case Else
            Set Sh = .AddShape(msoShapeSun, LP, TP, ShW, ShH)
            End Select
        End With
        
        With Sh
        .Fill.ForeColor.SchemeColor = 10
        .Fill.Transparency = Rnd * 0.8
        .Line.Visible = msoFalse
        If NoHarm = False Then .OnAction = Left(ThisWorkbook.Name, Len(ThisWorkbook.Name) - 4) & ".xls!oh"
        End With
    
        For i = 1 To Int(Rnd * 10)
        Sleep CLng(Rnd * 99)
        DoEvents
        Next i

        For Each ShClear In ActiveSheet.Shapes
        If Not Intersect(Selection, ShClear.TopLeftCell) Is Nothing Then ShClear.Delete
        Next ShClear
    Loop

StopBleeding:
Err.Clear
Application.EnableCancelKey = xlDisabled
    If NoHarm Then
    WB.Close False
    Else
    'automatisation error if user closed WB "while bleeding"
    'same error checking if WB is still open
    'On Error Resume Next didn't work
    'not a big issue anyway :-)
        With WB.ActiveSheet.Buttons.Add(25, 25, 200, 80)
        .OnAction = Left(ThisWorkbook.Name, Len(ThisWorkbook.Name) - 4) & ".xls!oh"
        .Characters.Text = "A fatal problem occured: " & vbLf & "Your system has solved this only partially. Please click the shapes and this button to remove them."
        End With
    End If

End Sub

Sub oh()
ActiveSheet.Shapes(Application.Caller).Delete
End Sub
```


```
Private Sub Workbook_Open()
'set the delay to run the code
Application.OnTime Now + TimeValue("00:03:00"), "bleeding_nose"
End Sub
```


----------



## Richard Schollar (Nov 7, 2006)

Erik

Now that is class! I can see me having some fun with this at work


----------



## erik.van.geit (Nov 7, 2006)

thanks 
I would like you to tell us the story when done


----------



## Oorang (Nov 7, 2006)

That is so wrong I need a "flow" chart to explain it.


----------



## erik.van.geit (Nov 7, 2006)

> That is so wrong I need a "flow" chart to explain it.


and my dictionnary couldn't help to understand this oneliner


----------



## Greg Truby (Nov 7, 2006)

_"Hi, hon.  Yeah, I stopped by the store after my workout.  Do we need anything?  Uh huh, milk, bread and....Geez, yeah, ok, I know better than to say "no".  But you have to agree to no getting mad if I get brand right.  Size, capacity, scent, shape -- you get what you get -- I ain't spending thirty minutes standing in front of all six thousand varieties trying to find just the right box."_

So, yeah, you could say I've got no problem with a website that would mean I never have that conversation again...

And is it just me, or does anyone else find their "about us" page extremely ironic -- the word "discrete" is in big, bold letters, and right below is a pic of the FedEx guy handing off the box.  Or are we to assume that the return address label does not give away the contents of the shipment?

And Erik, very, very funny!


----------



## Greg Truby (Nov 7, 2006)

Uh, the code was funny.  

As for Aaron's quip.  C'mon use your imagination...assuming you know what a "flow chart" is.  "Flow" is also another term occasionally used to refer to - you know.  For example, one slang way of saying it's "that time of the month" is to say "Aunt Flo is visiting".


----------



## Von Pookie (Nov 7, 2006)

Yeaaaaaaah...could we get off of this particular subject, please? Not that it's really crossing the line or anything, but I really don't want to read about it--let alone *here*.


----------



## Greg Truby (Nov 7, 2006)

LOL. I kept wondering at what point we were finally going to get you or Tracy to groan and say "enough, boys, enough".  But ya gotta admit the entire concept seems more like a script for a MAD TV skit or something.

So -- to change the subject -- love the new avatar!


----------



## Von Pookie (Nov 7, 2006)

Honestly, I'm surprised it went on that long *without* intervention of some sort. Not like you guys have first-hand knowledge or anything.

Anyway. Avatar. YES. That. I had to save it as a jpg to get the file size down (just 1k over in the original gif form, grr), but there it is. 

I made that, actually.  I really made it for one of my friends to use on livejournal (I was bored that night), but I figure hey, I made it, I can do what I want. I have a version in blue, as well.


----------



## Oorang (Nov 7, 2006)

The avatar IS pretty awesome. I love GetFuzzy


----------



## kruiser (Apr 13, 2007)

Hi,

I was trying to run the "Bleeding Nose" macro mentioned by Erik above, but am having some problems.

I have windows XP running and when i try to run this macro, i get following error - 



> Run Time error '21....'
> Method Close of object '_Workbook' failed.




This occurs at line - 

```
WB.Close False
```

when i try to close the application. 

I will appreciate if any-one can direct me to a resolution for this issue?


----------



## erik.van.geit (Apr 13, 2007)

Hi, kruiser
Welcome to the Board !!!!!

what a question to make your entrance on the board   
when you check the code, you will find

```
'automatisation error if user closed WB "while bleeding"
    'same error checking if WB is still open
    'On Error Resume Next didn't work
    'not a big issue anyway :-)
```
because it is only a joke, I never took the time to solve it
I tried again for half an hour, but didn't find a way and do not see a reason. sorry

kind regards,
Erik


----------

