# Avast ye scurvy dogs!



## Von Pookie (Sep 19, 2006)

Arr, today be Talk Like a Pirate Day, me buckos!

Aye, now it be time for learnin' or ye'll walk the plank.  
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2cKCkbWDGwE


Methinks this ship be in dire need of a pirate smilie, aye. Since we not be havin' a pirate smilie, I'll be usin me own.







  'Tis a fine day, Polly, is it not? 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




Yarrr.


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## atmospheric (Sep 19, 2006)

Q. Why are pirates called pirates?

A. Because they AARRRRR


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## Von Pookie (Sep 19, 2006)

Yarr, I be unable to find a moving picture version, but here be a transcript of a Ye Olde Saturday Night Live skit:

(Opens with a shot of the Holiday Inn hotel. Cut to an activities board that reads: 1:00 Schwartz Bar Mitzvah 4:00 Real Estate Seminar 7:30 Pirate Convention. Growling is heard and dissolves to room decorated with pirate stuff, big skull banner with cross bones. A group of about 10 guys dressed in authentic pirate attire. Eye patches, hats, bandannas, scarfs,wild hair, the whole 9 yards. Red beard Pete has a parrot on his shoulder, he is at the podium)

Red Beard Petegruff voice) Settle down, settle down, settle down. Ahoy! Maties! I welcome ye to the fourth annual pirate convention. I be your moderator Red Beard Pete. We first like to thank the good people of the Milwaukee Holiday Inn for the accommodations. Not out first choice but there was no vacancy at our favorite hotel the Ritz Car-r-r-r-r-r-lton.

All pirates: CAR-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-RLTON!! ARRR-ARRR!!

Red Beard Pete: All right, now I would like to welcome my first mate Dinkins to the stage for roll call.

(Dinkins steps up to the podium)

Dinkins: Roll call. A-r-rthur-r-r-r-r!

Arthur: AHOY!

Dinkins:Bar-r-r-r-r-rtholomew!

Bartholomew: Present and accounted for-r-r-r-r-r-r-r!

Dinkins: Ted!

Ted: Here.

Red Beard Pete: All right, all right we don´t need a roll call. Ok, first order of business. Picking a location for next year´s convention. Any ideas?

Bartholomew: AR-R-R-R-R-RKANSAS!!

Red Beard Pete: Maybe. Anyone else?

Pirate 1: MADAGASCAR-R-R-R-R-R!

Red Beard Pete: Nice one.

Dinkins: Boston.

Red Beard Pete: Hmmm, Boston? Kind of an odd choice.

Dinkins: Bear with me. We can drive there and when we arrive, we can PARK THE CA-R-R-R IN THE HAR-R-RVAR-R-R-RD YA-R-R-R-R-RD!!!

All pirates: AAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!

Red Beard Pete: Boston it is! All right, it be time to bring out our keynote speaker. I think you all will be pleased. Dinkins do the honors.

Dinkins: Aye. Joining us today is film and stage sta-r-r-r, Peter Sarsgaar-r-r-r-r-r-d!

All pirates: SARSGAA-R-R-R-R-R-R-RD!!!

(Actor Peter Sarsgaard walks up to the podium in suit and tie)

Red Beard Pete: Hello, Sarsgaa-r-r-r-r-rd!

Peter Sarsgaard: You can call me Peter.

Red Beard Pete: No, thank you.

Peter Sarsgaard: Ok, well it´s an honor to be here. I don´t know a lot about pirate culture but when my agent told me about this convention I immediately said yes. I´m always up for experiencing new things so I hope to learn as much from you guys as you may from me.

Red Beard Pete: Ok, time for Q/A. Ok, who will be having a question for Sarsgaard?

Dinkins: Yes, yes. Do ye be knowing what the film "The Wedding Crashers" was rated?

Peter Sarsgaard: Not of the top of my head but I think there was some nudity so maybe it was rated "R"?

All pirates: R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R!!!!!

Arthur: You worked with many talented actors over the years. Have ye ever worked with cross dressing Corporal Klinger from "MASH"?

Peter Sarsgaard: You mean Jamie Farr?

All Pirates: FAAAA-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R!!!!

Peter Sarsgaard: No, I´ve never worked with him.

Arthur: Ok.

Bartholomew: What be the name of the best web site to see people make love to barnyard animals?

Peter Sarsgaard: I don´t know. Umm, maybe animalloveclub.com?

Bartholomew: No, not that one. I was thinking loveinthebarnyard.or-r-r-r-r-r-rg!!

All pirates: OO-R-R-R-R-R-RG!!!!

Bartholomew: Arr,(takes out notepad)what be the name of that first one again?

Peter Sarsgaard: It´s animalloveclub.com.

Bartholomew: Animal,(writes on notepad)dot com, thank you.

Pirate 1: What be your favorite food chain that specializes in roast beef sandwiches?

Peter Sarsgaardsighs, catching on)Arby´s?

All pirates: A-R-R-R-R-R-RBY´S!!!!

Peter Sarsgaard: Ok, ok, all right I think I see what´s going on here. You guys don´t know anything about me do you? The only reason you have me here is because my name has a bunch of "R" sounds in it.

Red Beard Pete: No way, Sarsgaar-r-r-d!!

Peter Sarsgaard: Really?

Red Beard Pete: We are big fans of what you do.

Peter Sarsgaard: Ok, name one thing I´ve done.(Low murmuring among pirates)See? I knew it!

Red Beard Pete: Well, umm...why don´t you name some stuff you´ve done?

Peter Sarsgaard: Ok, how about "Jarhead"?

All pirates: JA-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-RHEAD!!!!

Peter Sarsgaard: Yeah, yeah ummm, "Garden State"?

All pirates: GA-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-RDEN STATE!!!

Peter Sarsgaard: "Boys don´t Cry"?

All pirates: Ummm,(very little enthusiasm)

Red Beard Pete: Sarsgaard, we be owing ye an apology. The only reason we brought you here is because you´re Sarsgaard. Oh, and now is time for our musical number. Provided by your truly and Dinkins.

(Red Beard Pete and Dinkins recite along with the other pirates)

Everybody: A,B,C,D,E,F,G(Peter Sarsgaard joins in)H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O,,R,R,R,R,R,R,R,R,R,R,R,R,R,R,R,R,R,R,R,R,R,R,R,R,R,R,!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Pirates begin to smash bottles and glasses against the wall) 

(Transcript be from here)


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## hatman (Sep 21, 2006)

Kristy, is that YOU in the picture on http://www.talklikeapirate.com/?


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## erik.van.geit (Sep 21, 2006)

Hatman,

is this a typo in your signature ?
AAARRRGGH! Cap'n Javier Snaggletooth wants to know your Priate Name.
I suppose you meant
AAARRRGGH! Cap'n Javier Snaggletooth wants to know your Primate Name.


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## hatman (Sep 21, 2006)

What Typo?   

Or maybe what I really meant was your PRIVATE name.


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## Von Pookie (Sep 21, 2006)

> Kristy, is that YOU in the picture on http://www.talklikeapirate.com/?



Nope. We *did* watch that 'Wife Swap' with the pirates, though. The first--and only--time I'll willingly sit through that "reality" crap.

Yarr.


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## atmospheric (Sep 21, 2006)

This sailor sees a beaten up old pirate in the corner of the Tavern. The pirate typically has the wooden peg leg, a hook for his right hand and the proverbial black eye patch. Feeling a mite sorry for him, the sailor approaches and offers to refill his tankard. After a few beers the pirate relaxes and gets chatty.

"So how did you lose the leg?" asks the sailor.

"Aarrr, we was chasing this Spaniard for two weeks, a gold carrier she was, we finally got close enough for the grappling hooks and I was swinging across to her when I fell in the **** water. Aarr, I thought I was a gonner when this **** great shark came up and bit my leg clean off."

"BeJesus" (he was an Irish sailor), "What happened next?"

"Aarr, well I never thought I'd do it, but I managed to climb up the side of the Spaniard. I got my hand on the rail when the cursed Bosun chopped it clean off with his cutlass"

"OMG" exclaimed the sailor, "and how did you lose the eye?"

"Aarr, well that happened about a month later, I was looking up at the sails when a seagull crapped in my eye"

"A seagull crapped in your eye? That wouldn't cause you to lose it!"

"Aarr it did.....first day with the hook"


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## Norie (Sep 21, 2006)

How's this for a 'pirate' name?

Agnostic Conroy Smithe


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## hatman (Sep 21, 2006)

> How's this for a 'pirate' name?
> 
> Agnostic Conroy Smithe



Now THAT's funny.


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## Mark O'Brien (Sep 22, 2006)

Cannon-Balls Finn.  That might explain my hernia.


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## Von Pookie (Sep 22, 2006)

HUZZAH!

I found video of the skit I posted about earlier:
http://www.pistolwimp.com/media/41165/

Warning, it seems to load a tad slowly.


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## Peter_SSs (Sep 21, 2007)

> HUZZAH!
> 
> I found video of the skit I posted about earlier:
> http://www.pistolwimp.com/media/41165/
> ...


Gurglin' Sid Cooke sure got a few good lar-r-r-r-r-rfs from that


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## Von Pookie (Sep 21, 2007)

Oh man--I haven't seen that in ages. Heeee.


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## ExcelChampion (Sep 21, 2007)

There used to be a show on TV called Mad Movies.  They'd take real movies and dub voices in over the dialogue.  It was very humorous.

There was one particualr show that was an old black and white pirate movie.  One of the scenes (and I don't remeber the exact dialogue) went something like this:

Guy comes limping in on one leg and stumbles up to a man with an eye patch and a peg leg and says,

Arr, I see you got yourself there a peg leg.

Aye, that I I do.

Arr, I'll trade you my shirt for your wooden leg.

That won't quite do as I'm rather attached to this crutch of mine.

Arr, then I trades you me glass eye for it.

You're nuts!

Whoa, that's going a little too far...I may need them later.


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## Von Pookie (Sep 19, 2009)

AHOY THERE!

It be that time again, me hearties!


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## steve case (Sep 20, 2009)

I celebrated by going to Arrrrrrbys for lunch.


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## RobMatthews (Sep 20, 2009)

Am i the only one who thinks this is a very high-school thing to do? And early high school at that? I'm not trying to suck the fun out of life, i promise...


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## Oorang (Sep 21, 2009)

Make him walk the plank!


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## snowblizz (Sep 21, 2009)

Nay, let's keelhaul the scurvy dog!


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## xld (Sep 21, 2009)

RobMatthews said:


> Am i the only one who thinks this is a very high-school thing to do? And early high school at that? I'm not trying to suck the fun out of life, i promise...



Nope!


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