# Jokes and pranks



## Davers (Jun 24, 2005)

Hey everyone...there used to be a post written quite a while ago listing jokes and pranks for April Fools day. It looks like the link doesn't work anymore...does anyone have that post saved somewhere?

Thanks,

Dave  

P.S. Here was the post:

http://www.mrexcel.com/board2/viewtopic.php?t=28037


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## NateO (Jun 24, 2005)

Looks fine to me.  

It was in the old Lounge which we're looking to get rid of so that we just have one Lounge and perhaps clear up some server space.


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## Von Pookie (Jun 24, 2005)

Just to clarify what Nate said:

The old lounge is still intact, it's just a "hidden" forum now. That's why you couldn't get to that old thread earlier.

Just trying to clean up a little


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## Davers (Jun 24, 2005)

YAY!! Thanks for bringing it back!!    Look out co-workers!!!   

Thanks again,

Dave


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## Oorang (Jun 28, 2005)

I think we should forge ahead into a bold era of NEW jokes and pranks. Not just recycling the old ones.

In an XP-Pro/2002 Environment I have found application.speech.speak particularly promising. You do the math.


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## Davers (Jun 29, 2005)

Sounds good to me!! Come on everyone! New jokes and pranks!!! As a side note, I threw together the Workbook that opens only a certain percantage of the time...I laughed and laughed for a good 10 minutes playing with that workbook!!!    My co-workers are starting to look scared!   

Have a good day,

Dave


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## Bruno_x (Jul 1, 2005)

Hi Davers,
I remember that one   
http://www.mrexcel.com/board2/viewtopic.php?t=28037&postdays=0&postorder=asc&start=22


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## Glaswegian (Jul 1, 2005)

I noticed that many pranks go for Open Events.  What about delaying the closing of a workbook?  A simple loop with a message box saying something like, "Windows has encountered a problem etc" and Application.Wait would have a user sitting in front of their PC waiting for the file to close - depending on the number of loops and Wait time, they could still be there next morning! 

Regards


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## shades (Jul 1, 2005)

Ah, I have had that happen, *without programming it*...


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## HalfAce (Jul 24, 2005)

Oorang said:
			
		

> I think we should forge ahead into a bold era of NEW jokes and pranks. Not just recycling the old ones.


Here's one I always liked...

There’s this lizard walking through the jungle minding his own business, when he looks up and sees a monkey sitting up in a tree, smokin’ some pot.
The lizard says “Hey monkey, whatcha doin’ up there?”
The monkey says “I’m just sittin’ here smokin’ some pot. You want some?...Come on up!”
So the lizard climbs up the tree and sits there smokin’ some pot with the monkey.

After a while the lizard says “Man, I’m gettin’ thirsty. Think I’ll go on down to the river and get me a drink.” So the lizard climbs down the tree and starts hiking through the jungle towards the river.

When he gets there and leans down to get a drink, he slips and falls in.

A big old alligator comes along and rescues the lizard.
The alligator says “Hey man, how’d you end up out here in the river?”
The lizard says “Well, I was up in the tree smokin’ some pot with the monkey, came down here to get a drink and slipped and fell in.”
The alligator says “Hmm… the monkey’s got some weed, huh?”
The lizard says “Yeah. Go on up and see him, I’m sure he’ll share some with you.”

So the alligator climbs out of the river and goes cruisin’ through the jungle.
When he gets to the bottom of the tree, the monkey looks down and says “Man! How much did you drink???!”


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## PA HS Teacher (Jul 26, 2005)

> What about delaying the closing of a workbook?



A number of thoughts here:

1.  Require the user to say please before closing. (perhaps using an input box)

2.  A message box that says something along the lines of, "You've been bad, I'm giving you a time out for ( x time).  You can close me then."

Keep track of  how long its been since this message.  If the user tries to close the workbook before (x time) has been elapsed you can:
   a) restart the time, and don't allow close until x time.
   b) a message box along the lines of, "I'm not messing around, you now have a time out for 2x.  
   (repeat as you deem necessary)

3.  A more innocent message might be just, "Good Bye " & UserName 

4.  A message box that says, "Read to me!", then open up a news website/ children's story site, whatever strikes your fancy.

5. Similarly, you could have a message box pop up at certain times of the day instruction the user that, "I'm bored.", "I'm scared", "I'm tired", "I'm hungry" etc.)

6. Perhaps a message box right before lunch time that says, "Can I come to lunch?"  or "Want to go for a byte?"

7.  A random message box that says, "Do you like me?"  If the user clicks Yes: "You're just saying that."
No: "Fine, I don't like you either." --> Then close the file

8.  Keep a list of jokes on a hidden or very hidden sheet.  Ask the user if they want to hear a joke, then procede to tell a joke.

9.  Similar to 8, interupt the user with a joke, fact, anything really every x minutes.

10. Perhaps a worksheet change event that includes,
If Target.Value = "Your Name" then msgbox("Your Name deserves a raise")

Many more could be added.


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## Joe4 (Jul 26, 2005)

PA HS Teacher,

So it that what you high school teachers do in your spare time...


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## PA HS Teacher (Jul 26, 2005)

We come here in our "spare time" instead of working on papers due to our professors tomorrow in our summer courses.

I can see others come here during their "spare time" at work.

In any case, threads like this make me wish my coworkers used Excel more...


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## Joe4 (Jul 26, 2005)

> I can see others come here during their "spare time" at work.


 I can't believe that anyone would do that.    

All good natured ribbing!  Some of those ideas were pretty good.  Give 'em a taste of their own medicine!

Now I guess I should get back to work!


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## Oorang (Jul 26, 2005)

PA Those were hilarious


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## al_b_cnu (Jul 27, 2005)

Background:
There's a guy in our office who uses Excel to keep a log of his timekeeping, he also regularly has no dinner and enters 'No Dinner' and goes home an hour early.

He also keeps his workbook open during the day (but doesnt log his fag breaks!)

I inserted a worksheet change event:

```
Private Sub Worksheet_Change(ByVal Target As Range)
Dim R As Range
Dim bShow As Boolean

For Each R In Target
    If InStr(LCase$(Application.WorksheetFunction.Trim(R.Text)), "no dinner") > 0 Then
        bShow = True
        Exit For
    End If
Next R
If bShow = True Then UserForm1.Show
End Sub
```

I also inserted  Userform1 with 
3 labels: Label1, Label2, Label3
2 command buttons: cmdYes, cmdNo

and inserted this code behind Userform1:

```
Option Explicit

Private Sub cmdNo_MouseMove(ByVal Button As Integer, ByVal Shift As Integer, ByVal X As Single, ByVal Y As Single)
If cmdNo.Left < cmdYes.Left Then
    cmdNo.Left = cmdYes.Left + (cmdYes.Width * 1.2)
Else
    cmdNo.Left = cmdYes.Left - (cmdYes.Width * 1.2)
End If

End Sub

Private Sub cmdYes_Click()
Unload Me
End Sub

Private Sub UserForm_Initialize()
With Me
    .StartUpPosition = 2
    .Width = 229
    .Height = 115
    .Caption = "Excel Overdependency Error"
End With
With Label1
    .Caption = "A Serious system error has occurred"
    .Top = 6
    .Width = 204
    .Height = 18
    .Left = 12
    With .Font
        .Bold = True
        .Size = 8
        .Name = "Tahoma"
    End With
End With
With Label2
    .Caption = "A possible cause is overreliance on Excel Spreadsheets."
    .Top = 24
    .Width = 204
    .Height = 18
    .Left = 12
    With .Font
        .Bold = False
        .Size = 8
        .Name = "Tahoma"
    End With
End With
With Label3
    .Caption = "Do you rely on Excel too much?"
    .Top = 48
    .Width = 204
    .Height = 18
    .Left = 12
    With .Font
        .Bold = False
        .Size = 8
        .Name = "Tahoma"
    End With
End With
With cmdNo
    .Top = 72
    .Left = 132
    .Height = 18
    .Width = 48
End With
With cmdYes
    .Top = 72
    .Left = 66
    .Height = 18
    .Width = 48
End With
End Sub

Private Sub UserForm_QueryClose(Cancel As Integer, CloseMode As Integer)
Cancel = CloseMode = 0
End Sub
```

and sat back & waited


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## Glaswegian (Jul 27, 2005)

Nice one Alan!!    

I was expecting a bit more after clicking the 'yes' button.  Might be worth developing that a bit further.......


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## al_b_cnu (Jul 27, 2005)

I thought I'd made my point by that time, but any further development suggestions welcome


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## smokenack (Jul 27, 2005)

> He also keeps his workbook open during the day (but doesnt log his fag breaks!)



I think that someone should explain to our American friends that a fag in England is slang for a cigarette. Just in case you were wondering.


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## Glaswegian (Jul 27, 2005)

al_b_cnu said:
			
		

> I thought I'd made my point by that time, but any further development suggestions welcome


Oh I'm sure there are untold possibilities to make things interesting (see some of the previous posts in this thread) - ones that pop up a form with a progress bar and a message saying something like all files are being deleted, appeal to my sense of humour!

Good point smokenack - wouldn't like the Americans to get the wrong idea about the ENGLISH.


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## al_b_cnu (Jul 27, 2005)

What makes you thinlk I was using slang ;¬)


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## Glaswegian (Jul 27, 2005)

al_b_cnu said:
			
		

> What makes you thinlk I was using slang ;¬)


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## Oorang (Jul 27, 2005)

Add an on close event that demands he log his smoke breaks Something like "Excel has detected you are taking credit for more hours worked than your were present in the building. Your cigarette breaks have been auto-updated." And then maybe have it add a column or two representing total time out smoking and have it deduct that time from his totals. Have it save and close. Then when he opens it back up he will see your helpful present.


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## al_b_cnu (Jul 27, 2005)

Oorang said:
			
		

> Add an on close event that demands he log his smoke breaks Something like "Excel has detected you are taking credit for more hours worked than your were present in the building. Your cigarette breaks have been auto-updated." And then maybe have it add a column or two representing total time out smoking and have it deduct that time from his totals. Have it save and close. Then when he opens it back up he will see your helpful present.



I LIKE it!


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## Glaswegian (Jul 27, 2005)

Oorang

Based on some of your posts in the Lounge, I'm starting to think you're quite a scary guy!!!


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## al_b_cnu (Jul 27, 2005)

Glaswegian said:
			
		

> Oorang
> 
> Based on some of your posts in the Lounge, I'm starting to think you're quite a scary guy!!!



I thought that, but didnt want to get on the wrong side of him


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## Glaswegian (Jul 27, 2005)

al_b_cnu said:
			
		

> Glaswegian said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Too late now!!!


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## Oorang (Jul 27, 2005)

ROFL Nah. I do things if they are funny and I think the person has a sense of humor.   I restrain myself from things if they bend toward malicious.


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## PA HS Teacher (Jul 27, 2005)

I'm as guilty as anyone here of a little Excel Entertainment at the expense of others who do not know VBA exists.

I will offer the same advice I offer my students.

"Use your powers for good."


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## Greg Truby (Jul 28, 2005)

PA HS Teacher said:
			
		

> "Use your powers for good."


So I should not be seduced by the dark side?  Workbook_Open() and users with low security settings -- these are the path to the dark side?


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## Glaswegian (Jul 28, 2005)

Greg Truby said:
			
		

> PA HS Teacher said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Yes, that and probably the Kill Statement.


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## litrelord (Aug 9, 2005)

Thank you to PEN and starl for this post


```
Private Sub Workbook_Open()
Application.IgnoreRemoteRequests = True
End Sub
```

 

Nick


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## starl (Aug 9, 2005)

oh - that's evil!


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## erik.van.geit (Aug 12, 2005)

```
Option Explicit

Public PrevSh  As Worksheet
Public ThisSh  As Worksheet
Public ThisShN As String
Public CopySh  As Worksheet

Private Sub Workbook_SheetActivate(ByVal Sh As Object)
'Erik Van Geit
'050812 1802
With Application
.ScreenUpdating = False
.EnableEvents = False
.DisplayAlerts = False
End With

Set ThisSh = ActiveSheet
On Error Resume Next
PrevSh.Delete
  With CopySh
  .Name = ThisShN
  .Visible = xlSheetVisible
  End With
On Error GoTo 0

With ThisSh
ThisShN = .Name
.Copy before:=Sheets(.Index)
Set CopySh = ActiveSheet
End With

With CopySh
.Visible = xlSheetVeryHidden
End With

With Application
.ScreenUpdating = True
.EnableEvents = True
.DisplayAlerts = True
End With

Set PrevSh = ThisSh

End Sub
```


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## whiteghost (Aug 17, 2005)

has anyone ever thought of replacing the Windows error beep  with  a wav file that announces "Hey Folks..This idiot's got it wrong again!!"

just a thought


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## starl (Aug 17, 2005)

cute cat, ghost.
Now THIS sounds like a prank:
http://www.mrexcel.com/board2/viewtopic.php?t=163385

and, while you're reading it... can anyone figure it out?


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