# T Shirt Humor



## lenze (Jul 28, 2006)

Some random T-shirts

1. Don't take life so seriously. It isn't permanent.


2. Let me drop everything and work on YOUR problem.


3. I see dumb people.


4. Here I am. Now what are your other two wishes?


5. I'm not fluent in Idiot, so please speak slowly and clearly.
.

6. To err is human ... but to blame someone else shows management potential.


7. Top ten reasons I procrastinate: 

1.


8. Some days it's not even worth chewing through the restraints.

lenze


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## Von Pookie (Jul 28, 2006)

Ooh, these are fun. Some shirts I actually own:

"I poke badgers with spoons."

"I solemnly swear I am up to no good."






"The Flying Hamster of Doom rains coconuts on your pitiful city."





"The British version of this shirt is much better."


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## Richard Schollar (Jul 28, 2006)

"Tell your boobs to stop staring at my eyes"

Was on a T-shirt that my, ahem, _friend_ used to own...


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## Von Pookie (Jul 28, 2006)

My husband has a couple that he bought from tshirthell.com. Note: these--nor most other ones on that site--are obviously not to everyone's taste (though we did get that "British" shirt of mine from that site):

"Killing my wife saved my marriage." 

"I bought Christopher Reeve's wheelchair on eBay" [he wore this shirt when he went to see the new Superman movie]

"My idea involves midgets and **** (details upon request).'


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## Richard Schollar (Jul 28, 2006)

Oh boy! Wearing that T-shirt to the movie!!!


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## PaddyD (Jul 30, 2006)

My favourite, worn to tense interviews with my bank manager during more penurious, student days:

"Left school, no job, no money?
Then ****-off"
Gnatt West - The Frank Bank

..courtesy of VIZ, as I recall.


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## Smitty (Aug 1, 2006)

An oldie, but goodie from the State Bar in Dallas:

***** YOU 
I'M FROM 
TEXAS*

And a similar one that got a good friend suspended from Baylor Univ:

***** YOU 
I PLAY 
LACROSSE*

College days of course. 

Smitty


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## lenze (Aug 1, 2006)

Hey Smitty, where did you go to school? 

lenze


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## Greg Truby (Aug 1, 2006)

One of the most memorable T-Shirts I ever saw was emblazoned

*YODER VICE* using the _Miami Vice_ font and color scheme.

I have yet to see another T-shirt equal the level of irony in that one.  This should give you some idea as to how much vice there is to be found in Yoder, Kansas...

*August 26, 2006 

YODER HERITAGE DAY, 2006
SCHEDULE OF EVENTS*

<ul>[*]6:00AM Pancakes and Sausage[*]10:30AM Parade[*]Horse events all day[*]Food and craft vendors all day[*]1:00PM Quilt Auction[*] 1:00PM Antique Tractor Pull[*] 1:00PM Kid's Peddle Pull[*] 5:30PM Harmony and Hymn gospel concert[*] Dusk - Fireworks[/list]_Stay tuned to www.yoderkansas.com for more details!_


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## Smitty (Aug 1, 2006)

I graduated from Texas Christian, but served some time at SMU as well.  Why?

Smitty


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## lenze (Aug 1, 2006)

> I graduated from Texas Christian, but served some time at SMU as well.  Why?
> 
> Smitty



Just curious. I grew up in Dallas and graduated from Baylor (1972)

lenze


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## Smitty (Aug 1, 2006)

Cool.  Whereabouts?

It's a much different place now that's fer sure.  I didn't even recognize SMU last year.  Central's been completely rebuilt too.

As for Baylor, I always enjoyed games there.

Smitty


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## lenze (Aug 1, 2006)

> Cool.  Whereabouts?
> 
> It's a much different place now that's fer sure.  I didn't even recognize SMU last year.  Central's been completely rebuilt too.
> 
> ...


East Dallas, Lakewood area. After college I lived near downtown until I got married in 1980 and we bought a house in Far North(at the time)Dallas. Out near Preston Trails CC. 
Yea, it has changed. We moved to Montana in 1994. I was there in 2003 and again last spring for our son's graduation from UTD. I can't believe the changes.

lenze


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## Smitty (Aug 1, 2006)

> East Dallas, Lakewood area.



Cyndi's sister lives on WhiteRock (nasty/scary drive in, but a really nice eclectic neighborhood...Mansions next to small 50-ish homes).

I was there for New Year's and of course we brought fireworks.  Prior to setting them off I heard gunfire coming from across the lake and said that sounds like New Year's in LA!  She and her husband said it was... 

Smitty

That part of Dallas (where the gunfire was coming from) is not a place to be wearing one of Kristy's T-ShirtHell shirts!


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## lenze (Aug 29, 2006)

Saw this one yesterday on a buxom blonde

"I can see you've already meet my twins"

lenze


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## Joe4 (Aug 29, 2006)

Von Pookie,

Where did you find the ""The Flying Hamster of Doom rains coconuts on your pitiful city" shirt?

That is so entirely bizarre, my sister would love it!  I would like to pick one up for her.


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## Von Pookie (Aug 29, 2006)

One of my friends got it for me. Said she was at the mall, saw it in the window and it more or less screamed my name 

I believe the store in question was Hot Topic, if I'm remembering correctly.
Edit: But I got it a couple of years ago. Who knows if they still carry it.


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## Norie (Aug 29, 2006)

jm14

Check this link http://www.hottopic.com/store/Product.asp?LS=0&M=1287648508&SKU=277202-002-2100-0000


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## Joe4 (Aug 29, 2006)

Thanks, Norie.
 :wink:


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## Peter_SSs (Aug 30, 2006)

When I was in my teens, my older brother embarrassed me by giving me a Christmas gift that was opened in front of my parents and other very conservative family members. It was a T-shirt emblazoned with "Sex Instructor: First lesson free"


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## smokenack (Sep 1, 2006)

I never find any funny but my normally very staid wife loved this one:

'I haven't got Tourettes, you're just a c*nt'


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## HalfAce (Sep 1, 2006)

A friend of mine in Catholic highschool got suspended for wearing a T-shirt that said:
'To all you virgins, thanks for nothing!'

One of my favorites:
'I am not anti-social. Now leave me the f*ck alone!'

And one I used to get some raised eyebrows in:
'I Love Girlscouts' 

One of my newest favorites:
'Act like an *******
Get treated like an *******'

I've got some more, but they get pretty socially questionable from there.


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## Von Pookie (Sep 1, 2006)

I neglected to post it earlier, but since we're going down the "questionable" route:

I used to have a shirt that had the lettering printed upside-down. It read "If you can read this, you're sitting on my face."


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## just_jon (Sep 1, 2006)

> I neglected to post it earlier, but since we're going down the "questionable" route:
> 
> {snip}



Guy down in Ormond had a shirt, pair of brown turds with "arms" around each other, smiling.

Caption: Get your sh^t together!


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## HalfAce (Sep 1, 2006)

One I forgot I had was:
'The more people I meet, the more I like my dog.'
(And you had to see my butt-ugly bulldog they were being compared to in
order to get the full effect.)  

[And Jon, in the thread on Quotes for the day... I've been maintaining your quote
about "times of no money" for years!]


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## just_jon (Sep 4, 2006)

> ...
> 
> [And Jon, in the thread on Quotes for the day... I've been maintaining your quote
> about "times of no money" for years!]



Yeah, Dan, 't'is true.


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## MarkAndrews (Sep 4, 2006)

Did as new post, OOopps

http://www.mrexcel.com/board2/viewtopic.php?p=1109161#1109161


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## starl (Sep 4, 2006)

hate to be the party pooper, but turn it back down some - we do have kids here.


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## Mark O'Brien (Sep 5, 2006)

> hate to be the party pooper, but turn it back down some - we do have kids here.



Does that mean that I shouldn't mention the t-shirt that my friend has(had) that has a line across the chest with the text "Must be this tall to ride"?


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## lenze (Sep 5, 2006)

OR 
"I'm not really a pervert. I just play one on the internet"

lenze


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## Richard Schollar (Sep 14, 2006)

Check out the following site:

http://www.tshirthell.com/hell.shtml

Richard


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## SydneyGeek (Sep 30, 2006)

Another one...

Everyone is born right-handed. 
Only the gifted overcome it. 

Denis


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## Von Pookie (Oct 4, 2006)

Just ordered this for myself tonight 






http://www.threadless.com/product/324/Of_The_Dead


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## SydneyGeek (Mar 31, 2008)

Resurrecting an old thread with some new threads...

Bought this one the weekend. And no, I'm not the black shiny model 

http://www.datawright.com.au/other/files_deleted.jpg

Denis


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## Patience (Mar 31, 2008)

THe two IT guys at work have quite a collection between them, some... not so funny, but the best is a black Tshirt with a big box on the front with a red cross in the corner. I would post a pic, but you'd think I'd just mistyped the URL...

My brother has a Tshirt that says - Save Trees, Eat a Beaver.


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## Expiry (Mar 31, 2008)

I find a lot of these t-shirt messages hilarious and I love T-shirt hell - there are some highly inapporopriate, but hilarious messages. But, I agree with starl that there are children around, and because of that, I wonder if anyone actually wears these t-shirts in the street.

I would never dream of wearing a t-shirt where children might see me, that had a joke containing a swear word or inappropriate reference, no matter how funny it was.


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## Patience (Mar 31, 2008)

Actually it is considered a public order offence, so you can be done for it.


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## TinaP (Mar 31, 2008)

My favorite t-shirt says _You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me._  Most people find humor in it, but anyone who really knows me thinks it's hilarious.

Another one I've been dying to get says _Jesus loves you but I'm his favorite._  Somehow blasphemy and eternal damnation don't seem all that appealing...


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## RossMcColl (Mar 31, 2008)

I've got a Badger Badger Badger T-shirt, a c:\Dos\Run t-shirt, a "bomb disposal expert" t-shirt and a ctral-alt-del online one.

But my favourite is a silhoutte of two ladies with christmas hats on with the words "I saw mommy kissing Mrs. Claus"


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## Oaktree (Mar 31, 2008)

The mathletes among us might appreciate this one:

http://www.cafepress.com/buy/houseboat/-/pv_design_details/pg_1/id_21214080/opt_/fpt_/c_666/


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## Richard Schollar (Mar 31, 2008)

Matt - I'm worried cos I laughed at that


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## ryan4osu (Apr 14, 2008)

A friend had one in high school:
President of the National Braille T-shirt Reading Association.


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## lenze (Apr 14, 2008)

How about
"I bought my Air Guitar on Ebay"

lenze


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