# Top 20 replies by Programmers when their programs don't work



## Von Pookie (Nov 27, 2006)

From http://underthesunz.blogspot.com/2006/11/top-20-replies-by-programmers-to.html

Top 20 replies by Programmers to Testers when their programs don't work

20. "That's weird..."

19. "It's never done that before."

18. "It worked yesterday."

17. "How is that possible?"

16. "It must be a hardware problem."

15. "What did you type in wrong to get it to crash?"

14. "There is something funky in your data."

13. "I haven't touched that module in weeks!"

12. "You must have the wrong version."

11. "It's just some unlucky coincidence."

10. "I can't test everything!"

9. "THIS can't be the source of THAT."

8. "It works, but it hasn't been tested."

7. "Somebody must have changed my code."

6. "Did you check for a virus on your system?"

5. "Even though it doesn't work, how does it feel?

4. "You can't use that version on your system."

3. "Why do you want to do it that way?"

2. "Where were you when the program blew up?"

1. "It works on my machine"


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## Patience (Nov 30, 2006)

> "That's weird..."



Although not a programmer, I must say I say that when something goes wrong. I think it annoys my boss.


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## srizki (Nov 30, 2006)

When ever something went wrong on my machine, I got an excuse from help-desk, "what is that on your machine, you downloaded this, that is the reason for this crash".
it is always something we did.


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## HalfAce (Dec 1, 2006)

On the _rare_ occasion (  ) when my stuff doesn't work, I too usually blame it on
the 'wetware' involved.
(I've actually got my boss trained now to ask what he did wrong!  )
But I have to admit I like number 8.
I think I'll go with that one from now on.


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## TinaP (Dec 5, 2006)

My usual response is, "Hmmm...It worked for me."  Then the user will look at me with anger and say, "Well, I didn't make it up!"


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## brian.wethington (Dec 5, 2006)

My personal favorite would be (not included in your list)...
Well I can't test stupid!


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## Jon von der Heyden (Dec 5, 2006)

> Well I can't test stupid!



Brilliant!  I put that at no.1!


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## Norie (Dec 5, 2006)

A "big boy" programmed it and ran away works for me.

And he didn't document/comment the code either, something I would never neglect to do, honest.


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## TinaP (Dec 5, 2006)

> And he didn't document/comment the code either, something I would never neglect to do, honest.



I love undocumented spaghetti logic!  Job security!


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## DDonnachie (Dec 7, 2006)

I have to admit, I think I've used about half of these responses myself.


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## lenze (Dec 7, 2006)

I've always liked Fairwinds
"That's sad"

lenze


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## SydneyGeek (Dec 7, 2006)

Amazing how often "Did you read the instructions? Including the one in 48-point type about the Analysis Toolpak?" gets the response "Um ... no"

Denis


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## lenze (Dec 7, 2006)

> Amazing how often "Did you read the instructions? Including the one in 48-point type about the Analysis Toolpak?" gets the response "Um ... no"
> 
> Denis



That's true. I once sent a SS to 40 top level managers in the State Government here.  It was designed to gather data and when they saved it would feed a database. Because of this, directions had to be percise, so I included a 3 page instruction guide. After each point, I inserted the line "If I get a call from you describing this problem, I will know you didn't read these instructions as directed". I still got over 20 calls.

lenze


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## SydneyGeek (Dec 7, 2006)

> After each point, I inserted the line "If I get a call from you describing this problem, I will know you didn't read these instructions as directed". I still got over 20 calls.



And the best bit... If you didn't provide the instructions in the first place they'd use that as ammo. 

Denis


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