# Stupid Product Labels



## Smitty (May 14, 2006)

OK, we've all seen the one on the toaster that says "Do not use in shower/bath; electrocution may occur and could be harmful..." or something like it.

Today, while working in the garden with my wife, she pointed out the outside thumbs of her new gardening gloves, on which is printed:



> For help with BLINDNESS
> CALL 410-659-9314



Yes, that is the real number in case any of you have a hard time reading this.    

It's kind of like braile on drive-up ATM machines...     

Haven't we dumbed down the world enough?

Smitty


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## Richard Schollar (May 15, 2006)

I know this is almost besides the point, but why on earth would there be a "For Help with Blindness" message on a pair of gardening gloves anyway?


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## Felix Atagong (May 15, 2006)

When I go to the States I am always puzzled by these 'stupid' warnings on all kind of things. My favourite is the coffee at the airport with the warning that the liquid inside could be hot.


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## Oaktree (May 15, 2006)

Felix:

It wasn't that long ago that McDonald's had to pay some old lady $2.9MM because she scalded herself when she spilled their hot coffee on herself.  Her allegation was that the hot coffee was, well, too hot.  I guess she didn't make the connection when she ordered "hot coffee" (it's not just listed as "coffee") from their menu.


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## Felix Atagong (May 15, 2006)

Thanks Oaktree, 
Obviously, there must have been another old lady at another state who received some millions because her coffee was too cold, seems logical to me...


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## MarkAndrews (May 15, 2006)

On my drive home every night I see two signs within 2 metres of each other

One warns motorists of "Blind People Crossing"

The second reads "Institution for the blind, turn left"

I shouldnt laugh, but it amused me


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## lenze (May 15, 2006)

In the town where I attended college (which shall remain nameless),there was a street where as you approached the next intersection there were TWO signs informing you that "Left Lane Must Turn Left". Of course, when you got to the intersection, you were greeted by another sign that said "No Left Turn"

lenze


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## Cbrine (May 15, 2006)

Kinda along the same lines.

We have a small town north of that has a funeral home called
"Butcher's Funeral Home"

Sounds restful.  Makes you kinda wonder at the grocery store.


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## shades (May 15, 2006)

I guess "Rush Hour" is mislabelled, too. 

Confirmed by my trip last week to Washington DC.  :D


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## doco (May 18, 2006)

> When I go to the States I am always puzzled by these 'stupid' warnings on all kind of things.



1.  Ambulance chasing lawyers who eventually become legislators and make laws requiring idiotic labeling.
2.  Spineless (wannabe legislator) judges who were appointed by (ex ambulance chasing) lawyers who are now legislators.


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## Scott Huish (May 18, 2006)

Couple of favorites:

On a Presto log:
WARNING: May cause fire.

*Ya think?*


On just about every box of those miniature Christmas lights:
CAUTION: For indoor or outdoor use only.

*Um, what else is there?*


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## HalfAce (May 19, 2006)

> When I go to the States I am always puzzled by these 'stupid' warnings on all kind of things.


Actually it's not hard to understand at all.
It's all evolved from the movement started 35 or 40 years ago by Ralph Nader.
What we've ended up with is a system designed around protecting the stupid.
..."yup, he drank a mixture of bleach & gasoline and then lit a smoke. - died of natural causes."
When they're that stupid it's only natural that they die young. Nature's way of culling the gene pool. That's how we rose to the top of the intelligence ladder above all the other critters in the first place.
Now… we protect the stupid. As a result they’re living long enough to breed at ever increasing rates and are taking over.

On the other hand, I gotta say one of my favorite signs is a billboard I saw along side the freeway last time we were “down in the states” that said:   “Illiterate? Call 1-800-478-6481”


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## Smitty (May 19, 2006)

Hahahah.

We had a lady who used to work here who was constantly hurting herself...Once she came in with a burn mark on her neck and it was a doozie.  When asked what happend she said that she was ironing her shirt before work.  OK, so how'd you burn yourself?  "I was wearing it".

She came in with a nasty burn on her thigh one day too...

Then there was the day she had a cold with a bad sore throat...Hmmmm...must be bad germs.  Yup, you guess it friends and neighbors, she gargled with bleach!

Of course, she was a natural blonde!

That is who stupid product labels were invented for, but seriously, did we ever need Ralph "Needless" Nader to protect us from blondes?  I doubt it.  The gene pool does a great job of filtering itself out all by itself.  It is one pool that doesn't need a lifeguard.

Smitty


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## Oaktree (May 19, 2006)

HOTPEPPER:

Maybe the Presto Log folks just don't have 100% confidence in their product.  It'd be like Taco Bell saying "may contain real meat", you know---just to cover their bases.

I guess the Christmas Light companies rule out "underwater" and "in the afterlife"


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## Smitty (May 19, 2006)

> CAUTION: For indoor or outdoor use only.
> 
> Um, what else is there?



I tried explaining to my wife that they're really not meant to light the garage attic, especially strung along the rafters...

Yes, she is a natural blonde.

Smitty


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## Andrew Fergus (May 22, 2006)

> On just about every box of those miniature Christmas lights:
> CAUTION: For indoor or outdoor use only.
> 
> *Um, what else is there?*


Mrs A93 asks, how about internal use?


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## MarkAndrews (May 22, 2006)

Lucozade - "Warning, Not suitable for replacing the fluids lost during diarrhoea" - r words to that effect

Polo Mints - "May Cause a laxative effect"

Lilt - "May Cause a laxative effect"


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## Scott Huish (May 22, 2006)

> Mrs A93 asks, how about internal use?



I think that depends on whether she's indoors or outdoors.


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