# H E L P acronym wanted



## Felix Atagong (Oct 11, 2006)

The last 2 weeks our IT department (well, that's me in fact) has had these intelligent problems from the people at work...

CLASSIC HARDWARE PROBLEMS
the printer is broken ---> no toner (a common problem)

SOFTWARE PROBLEMS

Word
how can I make a header?
how does it come that my text slides to the right (and even to the bottom) when I insert some new text? (this person, who uses Word for over 15 years, wanted to make a 3 column page not by inserting columns, or a table, or by using tabs, but by counting and inserting spaces inbetween words)
I can't find my document any more (it was in fact a pdf file, not a Word one)

Excel
I have lost all my prices! (person had hidden several columns but didn't know how to unhide)
I can't see my statistics anymore (person had disabled the 'show all objects', I didn't even know there was this option, so I actually learned something there)
I can't find my document any more (same person, looking for the same pdf file but now from inside Excel)

Most problems can be resolved by looking into the help file, I try to explain before coming over, but as the word help isn't apparently a part of their active vocabulary I have to get over to their desk anyway, press the 'right' button and leave again... 

So I'm looking for an *acronym* for the word HELP that maybe will enlighten their spirits and will make them press that silly help button instead of calling me (it's a pity they all learned how to use a telephone, although I don't understand how on earth they managed to do that)...

(the making of this post was interrupted by a colleague who wanted me to explain how to visualise a YouTube movie. Busy. Busy. Busy.)


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## Oaktree (Oct 11, 2006)

```
Press help
        Read the documents and
        Everyone
        Should
        Stop

        Having
       "Emergency"
    ExceL
        Problems
```

Or, just the usual RTFM


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## milesUK (Oct 11, 2006)

Felix, How about Hurriedly Execute Little Problems.


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## justme (Oct 11, 2006)

How about
   Honorably
   Eliminate
   Local
   Problem


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## JamieDuncan (Oct 11, 2006)

Would this do?

Horrible
Errors,
Little
Problems


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## onlyadrafter (Oct 11, 2006)

Hideous
Employees
Large
Problems

or

Help
Exempt
Languid
Person


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## Richard Schollar (Oct 11, 2006)

*H*old
*E*verything! - 
*L*uddite
*P*anicing!

Which probably won't mean much to non-native english speakers.

Richard


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## justme (Oct 11, 2006)

*H*ereby
*E*nter
*L*ocal
*P*ub


_
is it Friday yet?_


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## hatman (Oct 11, 2006)

Have
Every
Lunatic
Punished


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## Oaktree (Oct 11, 2006)

Henceforth
Everyone should
Look for himself instead of 
Phoning me


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## hatman (Oct 11, 2006)

Helplessly
Encapsulated
Little
People


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## whiteghost (Oct 11, 2006)

Ha
enctountered 
large
 problem

Yoda speak for "turn the computer off sonny...it's smarter than you"


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## erik.van.geit (Oct 11, 2006)

*H*ier
*E*erst
*L*eren
*P*roeven


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## JamieDuncan (Oct 12, 2006)

*H*_ungry_
*E*_lephants_
*L*_ike_
*P*_eanuts_


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## Felix Atagong (Oct 12, 2006)

> Henceforth
> Everyone should
> Look for himself instead of
> Phoning me



I like this one! Thanks.

Yesterday, I was on a very tight schedule and at 05:02 PM I got this call from someone who uses Excel now for 20 years. I swear to you I don't make this up...

Can you come over and explain me how to copy a table and to paste it the other way round.
Simply do a Paste Special Transpose...What is paste special? Where can I find paste special? All I can see is Cells Row Column Sheet...

Missed my transport so I arrived at my appointment one hour too late... all that because of a Paste Special... (it was asked by a blonde, so perhaps that explains   )


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## Asala42 (Oct 20, 2006)

(a little late I know)

*H*urdle
*E*xcel's
*L*ittle
*P*roblems

:shrug:


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