# Very tricky formula required



## Jon von der Heyden (Dec 9, 2006)

Since I ask all my most important questions here, here's a tricky one:

What should I get my girlfriend of 6 weeks for xmas?  I just can't figure it out...


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## Richard Schollar (Dec 9, 2006)

If this is the one I think it is, how about something fairly basic on the birds and the bees?


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## Marbles (Dec 9, 2006)

It's probably a bit early for a DIY Manual.


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## Oorang (Dec 9, 2006)

Well perhaps a lovely tip card... I understand  <a href=http://www.mrexcel.com/sunshop/index.php?action=item&substart=0&id=57>MrExcel provides one</a>.


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## Andrew Fergus (Dec 10, 2006)

A nice new fishing rod and reel.....


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## Jon von der Heyden (Dec 10, 2006)

Hmmmm, maybe I should stick to asking Excel questions!   



> A nice new fishing rod and reel.....


Andrew, is that what your NZ chics are into then?  Fishing??   

Richard, I'm educating her - don't you worry!  She says she's gonna dance with you at the ball on Thursday...


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## Andrew Fergus (Dec 10, 2006)

Ha! - when she rejects the present what have you got?  A nice new fishing rod and reel........

It's a bit like the bloke who placed an ad in the personal column some years ago .  The ad went something like this : "WANTED. An attractive fun-loving woman who can cook and sew and owns a good boat and motor. Please enclose photo of boat and motor."



> She says she's gonna dance with you at the ball on Thursday...



Are you going to let your sister dance with Richard??? 

Cheers, Andrew


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## Richard Schollar (Dec 10, 2006)

> Are you going to let your sister dance with Richard???



I'm still trying to figure it out how he persuaded her to go out with him (seeing as how I've met, and thus observed, the unpleasant reality of the Baron, aka Van Den Heiden), but the young lady he is referring to is remarkably attractive (she works in the same building as I do).  I think he drugs her  ....


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## Oorang (Dec 10, 2006)

Only users lose drugs.


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## erik.van.geit (Dec 10, 2006)

Hi,

to my opinion: if you can not figure out what to buy her, you don't really know her   
greetings,
Erik


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## Jon von der Heyden (Dec 11, 2006)

Cunning plan Andrew, I like it   Oh, and I wouldn't let Richard anywhere near my sister...!

Rich, I think you'll find the English girls find us Saffa's a refreshing change to the usual pomm!   

Erik, you are very right, I've only known her a few weeks and she hasn't given me any clues!

In keeping with Andrew's logic - I think I'll buy her a glider!


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## erik.van.geit (Dec 11, 2006)

> I've only known her a few weeks and she hasn't given me any clues!


then give her flowers
(do not make it expensive)
if you choose the wrong types and colors, she will quit (that's not bad: better break up early than too late, you can still be good friends)
if you choose the good ones, you will be a step further

you could offer something you've made *yourself *along with the flowers
(poem, song, drawing, ...)
if you choose the wrong words and ....
if you choose the good ones ...


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## Jon von der Heyden (Dec 11, 2006)

Erik, I have 10 thumbs so not sure about making anything.  But the flowers idea is a definite go, but I suspect she's expecting more.

Everyone else suggests jewellery and / or perfume, but that's too slushy!

Just found out it's her birthday in less than a month too!    Double dilema!

A straw bale would've done fine if I had stuck it out with Betty & Flossy!


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## erik.van.geit (Dec 11, 2006)

> I suspect she's expecting more


why would she expect more    



> A straw bale would've done fine


here you're hitting the nail on the top !!
sometimes we offer things and can not even imagine what the person who recieves it can do with it or will feel about it

We do not even know everything what a straw bale can be used for !!!
coincidence ? yesterday I met a guy who explained me how straw bales can be used to build houses   He gave me his websiteaddress: really interesting
www.carbonismoney.com

kind regards,
Erik


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## Jon von der Heyden (Dec 11, 2006)

Ok, maybe she's not expecting more but I run the risk of coming across as tight...

Yes I saw a documentary on Saturday about a house they built in Friesland where they built the timber frame, filled it with straw bales and then sprayed it with plaster paint.  Apparently the insulation is great and it actually looks really good.

But I reckon the rats will like it equally!


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## Oorang (Dec 11, 2006)

If you have only known her for a short period of time, it needs to be whimsical without being overly expensive and show at least that you were paying attention to her. So think back to anything she said she like, watched, read, did etc, and buy her something in relation to that. At the very least it shows you are playing head-up ball.


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## erik.van.geit (Dec 11, 2006)

> I run the risk of coming across as tight...


are you afraid ? then it's not "THE" girl for you



> But I reckon the rats will like it equally!


it's pressed in a block, hard as "steal" and unaccessible


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## litrelord (Dec 11, 2006)

I'm adopting a penguin for my lovely lady for christmas from here

http://www.falklandsconservation.com/peng_adopt.html

but then we both like penguins so maybe that's more relevant for us.  you can adopt pretty much any animal though so if there is something she likes it might be an idea.

Also has her birthday a couple of weeks after so i know how you feel. Gonna be expensive too, my birthday's around the same time and she's taking me away for a weekend in Venice. Have to step up the game a little. 

Can you take her round the shops to look for presents for other people you're buying for saying you need her womans intuition. Might give you some more ideas about what she'd like.

HTH

Nick


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## Jon von der Heyden (Dec 11, 2006)

Nick, great idea!  (1) it's for a good cause (2) she cannot appear disappointed for fear of coming across as immoral (3) I like penguins!

And I think I'll take her shopping and let her choose something she likes...

Thanks for the suggestions, especially A's suggestion of MrExcel Tips!  That would go down reeaaaaaaaal well!!!    I think if I got her that I wouldn't have to worry about her birthday at all..!  :wink:


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## Oorang (Dec 11, 2006)

Well I _am_ a problem solver


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## Jon von der Heyden (Dec 14, 2006)

Well I'm bringing this back to the top   

Seems as though her favourite hobbie is dancing Salsa and Ballroom (but I can't do either).  Otherwise she's into cycling, swimming and running!  So I assume she already has a bicylce, swim suite and traininers!  Any other useful accessory that may make a nice present that anybody can think of?   

So far I'm thinking flowers and taking her to a posh ballet in London city...

Oh, she also has two cats that she loves to bits, maybe something there?


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## Oorang (Dec 14, 2006)

Well... When I googled "Dance cat Triathlon" I didn't come up with anything much... However it did get a pretty hilarious video off of GoogleVideo that reminded me of Von Pookie for some reason...

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-2138144818535514958


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## Von Pookie (Dec 14, 2006)

KITTY! Hee. No sound on the PC at work, but I do know what that video is. Aaaaaand are we surprised? (No, I suspect we are not.) That is actually quoted around the house now and then, though only with one of the cats in particular (for those not playing along at home we have 4 cats, total).

As far as the present ideas go: flowers are a pretty safe bet, though you may want to find out if she is allergic to anything before you go through with that. (Not trying to downplay the idea, but better safe than to give her the flowers and have her sneezing all over you.)

And I would say worry more about spending too *much* rather than too little. I mean, it's only been six weeks. I doubt she's looking for diamonds or anything extravagant at this point (but then again, I don't know her...).

Going the hobby route is a pretty good way to go, too. You could get her something small that would apply to one of the sporty hobbies.



> Seems as though her favourite hobbie is dancing Salsa and Ballroom (but I can't do either).


You could get dance lessons that the both of you could go to...?


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## Oorang (Dec 14, 2006)

Aww you definatly need to be able to hear the sound... that was what made it so hilarious.... Of course it could just be I am sick and delerious and _that_ why I am so entertained.


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## Von Pookie (Dec 14, 2006)

Oh no--I *have* heard the sound before, believe me. At this point I don't need the sound to know what that video is


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## erik.van.geit (Dec 14, 2006)

> And I would say worry more about spending too *much* rather than too little. I mean, it's only been six weeks. I doubt she's looking for diamonds or anything extravagant at this point (but then again, I don't know her...).


this morning I typed a reply in my mind but didn't send it

_what would you give if you both were very poor ?

do not try to "buy" love, not by gifts nor by acts
just stay natural and go slowly_

then you will not be hurt too much, when it appears you are not made for each other


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## Greg Truby (Dec 15, 2006)

Must admit, I'm a bit surprised.  I though Pookie would offer up a nifty idea for a gift that would be especially pleasing to cat-lovers.  But maybe that's Kristy's way of saying that whole path is rather a bad idea?


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## Von Pookie (Dec 15, 2006)

Not really--I just can't think of anything. It's one thing if we're talking about someone I know and have some idea of what they like, but seeing as we're not....no idear.

Of course, my family is of the variety that gets presents for the pets. Oh, there you go: you could go the route of getting something for the girlfriend and then a couple of "presents" (read: little cat toys) for the cats as well.


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## brian.wethington (Dec 15, 2006)

I have to agree mostly with Erik on this one.  If you are too worried about impressing her with the money you spend on her then you may want to flip your priorities in the relationship.  It is early in the relationship.  Something more than something on a whim is likely to not only put you in bad shape but may scare off the girl.  No sense in beating yourself out of the game.  If you are going to lose the game let it happen don't make it happen.

Edit~ Add following

Take note that when my wife and I started dating we were both in college and not very well off financially.  She and I the first Christmas gave the gift of time to each other.  We had been very busy previous to the Holidays, and giving my g/f, at the time, my time in the following semester was the best thing I could have ever done.


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## Von Pookie (Dec 15, 2006)

Honestly, I think we could give all the ideas in the world and it's not really going to matter much since we don't know the person in question.

Now to me, personally, that "gift of time" thing just screams "sappy." The type of sappy that somewhat annoys me and makes me roll my eyes. I'm quite sure that's not coming off very nicely, but I'm not trying to put the idea down, really. It's a cutesy idea and and if it works out for you, fantastic. 

But it's all just going to come down to something that would fit for *her* and Jon's the only one who can figure that part out (I'm assuming  ).

For instance, the very first present I got for my first Valentine's Day with my then-boyfriend-of-only-1-week (who is now my husband) was a Beatles guitar book and "cricket-licket" (a ****** with a real (dead) cricket in the middle). And I was perfectly happy with *both* things. He nailed it perfectly as I am (a) a Beatle-freak and (b) weird. Covered all the bases, I guess 

And before anyone asks: no, I did not eat the ******. I did keep it in my locker, though (yes, we're talking about high school, here)--it eventually melted/disintegrated and the shelf got all sticky. Come to think of it I don't even have that guitar book--or a guitar--now. Oh well. I did use it, though.


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## Von Pookie (Dec 15, 2006)

Oh--on the more "cutesy" side of the spectrum, one year he got me a stuffed animal. It's a cute/pitiful looking dog giving the puppy eyes and holding a little heart that says "I Wuff You."

And I absolutely love it. It's on a shelf in my bedroom, actually


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## Richard Schollar (Dec 15, 2006)

Kristy



> "cricket-licket" (a ****** with a real (dead) cricket in the middle)



Forgive my ignorance - what's a 'cricket-licket'?


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## Von Pookie (Dec 15, 2006)

> Kristy
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Just what I said: a ****** with a real (dead) cricket in the middle. I'm not joking.

I haven't seen them in what seems like eons, but just found this on a quick search. Seems they still make them!
http://www.hotlix.com/


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## Richard Schollar (Dec 15, 2006)

I love them. I've got to get me some of those


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## Greg Truby (Dec 15, 2006)

Richard,

See, there's this thing called a "search engine".  You can type stuff like "cricket-licket" into a control called a "textbox" click a button and voilá.

<sup>edit</sup> Fastest friggin' cat fer typin' that I ever did come across... <sub>/edit</sub>


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## Von Pookie (Dec 15, 2006)

Slooooooooowpoooooooooke.


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## Von Pookie (Dec 15, 2006)

> Oh--on the more "cutesy" side of the spectrum, one year he got me a stuffed animal. It's a cute/pitiful looking dog giving the puppy eyes and holding a little heart that says "I Wuff You."
> 
> And I absolutely love it. It's on a shelf in my bedroom, actually



I thought there was something else to this, but just now remembered what it was. So...I got the aforementioned cutesy stuffed animal--but attached to it was a balloon. That balloon had Opus and Bill (link mainly for Erik's sake  ). Opus (the penguin) had his hands around Bill's neck and was shaking it--the text on the balloon read "You WILL be mine!"

I still have that balloon, come to think of it. It's folded up and stuck in a photo album.


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## brian.wethington (Dec 15, 2006)

> Now to me, personally, that "gift of time" thing just screams "sappy." The type of sappy that somewhat annoys me and makes me roll my eyes. I'm quite sure that's not coming off very nicely, but I'm not trying to put the idea down, really. It's a cutesy idea and and if it works out for you, fantastic.



It is really sappy.  However, if you knew what we were going through before the Holidays then I guess you would have understood better.  



> Honestly, I think we could give all the ideas in the world and it's not really going to matter much since we don't know the person in question.


 This is the same point I was trying to point out in a much different way.  It sometimes is not about the person as much as the situation.

disclaimer: I was in no way trying to say that he should give her time.. I was merely saying that sometimes the best gifts don't involve money.


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## Von Pookie (Dec 15, 2006)

> > Now to me, personally, that "gift of time" thing just screams "sappy." The type of sappy that somewhat annoys me and makes me roll my eyes. I'm quite sure that's not coming off very nicely, but I'm not trying to put the idea down, really. It's a cutesy idea and and if it works out for you, fantastic.
> 
> 
> 
> It is really sappy. However, if you knew what we were going through before the Holidays then I guess you would have understood better.



Oh no, I understood it. Cute, thoughtful and loverly, it is. It's still sappy, though in certain cases that's the best route


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## Richard Schollar (Dec 15, 2006)

> Richard,
> 
> See, there's this thing called a "search engine".  You can type stuff like "cricket-licket" into a control called a "textbox" click a button and voilá.
> 
> ...



and then:



> Slooooooooowpoooooooooke.
> ~Von Pookie



Now, you see Kristy, Greg woulda got his reply above in before either you or I had completed our little exchange, if only the poor old guy hadn't dropped off for his afternoon nap over his desk.  I don't think he deserves to be made fun of over it.


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## Von Pookie (Dec 15, 2006)

Oh yes he does. That's not the first time he's whined about me typing faster t than him today


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## NateO (Dec 15, 2006)

So fast, her 't' key stutters.


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## Greg Truby (Dec 15, 2006)

Well, since I've been rousted from my afternoon reverie, perhaps, Richard, I can offer you some nice Scorpian Brittle? Upon reflection -- and as much to my own surprise as anyone's -- perhaps I have stayed on topic?  I mean, truly, Jon's new girlfriend would undoubtedly consider a box of Scorpian Brittle to be a most unforgettable gift.  And @ only $3.95 it nicely dovetails with Erik and Brian's concerns of not dropping too many quid on the lass...  C'mon Jon, admit it, you're wondering what she'd do were you to actually do it...[I mean c'mon we know she's *weird*, she's dating a friend of Richard's fer Pete's sake...]


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## Von Pookie (Dec 15, 2006)

> So fast, her 't' key stutters.



Ttttthattt was justttt a ttttypo.


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## brian.wethington (Dec 15, 2006)

> Well, since I've been rousted from my afternoon reverie, perhaps, Richard, I can offer you some nice Scorpian Brittle? Upon reflection -- and as much to my own surprise as anyone's -- perhaps I have stayed on topic? I mean, truly, Jon's new girlfriend would undoubtedly consider a box of Scorpian Brittle to be a most unforgettable gift. And @ only $3.95 it nicely dovetails with Erik and Brian's concerns of not dropping too many quid on the lass... C'mon Jon, admit it, you're wondering what she'd do were you to actually do it...[I mean c'mon we know she's *weird*, she's dating a friend of Richard's fer Pete's sake...]


 This or you could give her a nice handshake!


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## Jon von der Heyden (Dec 16, 2006)

> I mean, truly, Jon's new girlfriend would undoubtedly consider a box of Scorpian Brittle to be a most unforgettable gift.



Yuck!  My recent thinking has been a card with a fiver in it!  Or maybe cat brittle!  Only kiddin' Kristy!!!


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## Richard Schollar (Dec 16, 2006)

> Or maybe cat brittle!  Only kiddin' Kristy!!!



Hey! I like cats too - they taste like chicken


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## Oorang (Dec 17, 2006)

I think you'll be just fine if you simply avoid the worst case scenarios... To quote MP Dunleavy... 
"The thoughtlessness that counts: Don't get pierced earrings for your friend who doesn't have pierced ears (I did). Don't buy cookies for a diabetic. No booze for the teetotaler. Don't get "Fear of Flying" for a born-again Christian. You get the idea."

Besides... Since she is with _you_ she clearly needs one of these.


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## Andrew Fergus (Dec 17, 2006)

Or some of these


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## Richard Schollar (Dec 17, 2006)

Agree - more powerful glasses is a definite must


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## Jon von der Heyden (Dec 18, 2006)

All very god suggestions!  Thanks!     Think I'll go with the cat brittle, the glasses and the Excel tip cards!

And today is my birthday   .  So in keeping with the tradition set before us by Richard I'm getting you all a metophorical beer!   

28 today, catching yer up Richard!


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## Richard Schollar (Dec 18, 2006)

> And today is my birthday   .  So in keeping with the tradition set before us by Richard I'm getting you all a metophorical beer!



Thanks! Bottoms up!



> 28 today, catching yer up Richard!



Yeah, but only in years/wrinkles - sadly not in Wisdom, Charm, Intelligence, Good-looks ....


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## Von Pookie (Dec 18, 2006)

> Yeah, but only in years/wrinkles - sadly not in Wisdom, Charm, Intelligence, Good-looks ....


...Modesty ...


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## Oorang (Dec 18, 2006)

/me is only <30 until march.


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