# Disclaimer



## Von Pookie (Feb 10, 2003)

I got bored, so I was using the Wayback Machine to look at the webpage I made like...4-5 years ago.

I found a "disclaimer" that I borrowed from somewhere out there. It could still apply today! 



> DISCLAIMER: This article does not reflect the thoughts or opinions of either myself, my company, my friends, or my cat; don't quote me on that; don't quote me on anything; all rights reserved; you may distribute this article freely but you may not make a profit from it; terms are subject to change without notice; illustrations are slightly enlarged to show detail; any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is unintentional and purely coincidental; do not remove this disclaimer under penalty of law; hand wash only, tumble dry on low heat; do not bend, fold, mutilate, or spindle; your mileage may vary; no substitutions allowed; for a limited time only; this article is void where prohibited, taxed, or otherwise restricted; caveat emptor; article is provided as is without any warranties; reader assumes full responsibility; an equal opportunity article; no shoes, no shirt, no articles; quantities are limited while supplies last; if any defects are discovered, do not attempt to read them yourself, but return to an authorized service center; read at your own risk; parental advisory - explicit lyrics; text may contain explicit materials some readers may find objectionable, parental guidance is advised; keep away from sunlight; keep away from pets and small children; limit one-per-family please; no money down; no purchase necessary; you need not be present to win; some assembly required; batteries not included; instructions are included; action figures sold separately; no preservatives added; slippery when wet; safety goggles may be required during use; sealed for your protection, do not read if safety seal is broken; call before you dig; not liable for damages arising from use or misuse; for external use only; if rash, irritation, redness, or swelling develops, discontinue reading; read only with proper ventilation; avoid extreme temperatures and store in a cool dry place; keep away from open flames; avoid contact with eyes and skin and avoid inhaling fumes; do not puncture, incinerate, or store above 120 degrees Fahrenheit; do not place near a flammable or magnetic source; smoking this article could be hazardous to your health; the best safeguard, second only to abstinence, is the use of a condom; no salt, MSG,artificial color or flavoring added; if ingested, do not induce vomiting, and if symptoms persist, consult a physician; articles are ribbed for your pleasure; possible penalties for early withdrawal; offer valid only at participating sites; slightly higher west of the Rockies; allow four to six weeks for delivery; must be 18 to read; disclaimer does not cover misuse, accident, lightning, flood, tornado, tsunami, volcanic eruption, earthquake, hurricanes and other Acts of God, neglect, damage from improper reading, incorrect line voltage, improper or unauthorized reading, broken antenna or marred cabinet, missing or altered serial numbers, electromagnetic radiation from nuclear blasts, sonic boom vibrations, customer adjustments that are not covered in this list, and incidents owing to an airplane crash, ship sinking or taking on water, motor vehicle crashing, dropping the item, falling rocks,leaky roof, broken glass, mud slides, forest fire, or projectile (which can include, but not be limited to, arrows, bullets, shot, BB's, shrapnel, lasers, napalm, torpedoes, or emissions of X-rays, Alpha, Beta and Gamma rays, knives, stones, etc.); other restrictions may apply.


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## RichardS (Feb 10, 2003)

Hey, I was struck by a space craft while reading the article. Can I sue?


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## Jack in the UK (Feb 10, 2003)

7 guys died in the shuttle Columbia

My love to all of them.

Jack


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## RichardS (Feb 10, 2003)

Lighten up Jack. I was as distressed by the shuttle disaster as anyone, and my post had nothing to do with that. I was referring to Kristy's attempt to exclude all responsibility for liability. A clause in my home building insurance refers to the building being struck by a space craft or space debris. Kristy didn't have that exclusion.

Regards

Richard


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## Jack in the UK (Feb 10, 2003)

Hi Richard

Nar no issues just interesting, even more from you input/

A clause in my home building insurance refers to the building being struck by a space craft or space debris.


Is this right????

Really, i need to check my policy, this cant be right surly???

Something hits your home on the head and you loose all ??? Ermmm@@@@@

What the excel is a space craft, Columbia, Challenge or Apollo 11, i loved that capsule in London as a kid, the childish touch and fell is it recall so small, OK the kick to check the heat shield was real, i recall smelt and was dark, burnt!!!!

Armstrong, Buzz Aldrin and my hero Eddie Collin in the command module, never set foot 

Neil and Buzz have their ring Eddie does not!!!

Jack


BTW Jack is all tranquillity!!


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## RichardS (Feb 10, 2003)

Not sure if it INcludes of EXcludes. I'm at work, so can't check, but I remember the first time I bought a house (1988?), I actually read the policy ( who does that?) and I recall it referred to being struck by space craft or space debris. It also referred to being struck by an animal. Combine the two, and you have an interesting scenario!! 

Richard


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## Sourdust (Feb 11, 2003)

Seagulls are bad enough but imagine what this lot would do to your car


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## applebyd (Feb 11, 2003)

Righto,
*<marquee>  ---NOBODY LAUGH ---NOBODY LAUGH  ---</marquee>*





Embarassing story time.

I have a rather interesting scar on my neck caused by being hit by a Pigeon that had taken off without looking where it was going.

Something frightened the whole flock and everyone knows what they ate like when they scatter. However the pigeoen being
a) the smaller
b) the lighter
c) the more manouverable
and
d) airborne

I thought the onus was on it rather than me to get out of the way.

I thought my Doctor was going to have a heart attack laughing when I told him how I got the cut.

Still he said I did the right thing going and getting it cleaned up and a Tetnus booster.

DaveA
This message was edited by  applebyd on 2003-02-11 08:16


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## Chris Davison (Feb 11, 2003)

> On 2003-02-10 20:49, Jack in the UK wrote:
> .....and my hero Eddie Collins in the command module, never set foot
> 
> Jack



Jack,

personally, I don't think any of them set foot.... have you seen any of the conspiracy programmes ?

the photographic cross-hairs anomalies
the moon-shadows anomalies
the radiation problems
the total lack of stars in the backgrounds
the footage speeded up gives perfect Earth gravity
multiple duplicate skylines apparently from different parts of the moon
the flapping flag (on an atmosphere-free moon)
the total lack of displaced dust on landing
the USA flags 150% prominent,lit and out-of-shadow, despite the angle of the sun
TV coverage beamed worldwide *from* an image *from* a TV screen in USA.... ie 2nd-hand

also, when asked by some reporter/student (I don't know which) that had pursued him for years on these issues, Neil Armstrong refused to swear on the Bible that he'd been to the moon (this was last year I think).... when pressed to do so, by this guy with a Bible, he punched him in the face...!

Interesting stuff, if you get a chance to see it on TV, I'd recommend it.... it certainly raises a few questions...

I've touched moonrock, my mate works at 10 Downing STreet and there's some there, set on a plaque as a present from Raegan to Thatcher.... I had a private tour one Saturday


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## Mark O'Brien (Feb 11, 2003)

> I've touched moonrock, my mate works at 10 Downing STreet and there's some there, set on a plaque as a present from Raegan to Thatcher.... I had a private tour one Saturday



Tony is everybody's mate.  He's Nice Guy Tony.


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## -sam (Feb 11, 2003)

> On 2003-02-11 08:48, Chris Davison wrote:
> 
> 
> > On 2003-02-10 20:49, Jack in the UK wrote:
> ...


Please tell me you don't believe any of that horse-hockey.  Among other things that wave effect with the flag was achieved with a wire.   Personally, I like NASA's stance on the subject, they don't even give the nut-jobs the dignity of a rebuttal.  Just honks me off that people would try to tear down the greatest achievement in the history of humanity

In terms of disclaimers i've always had a soft spot for:
The Surgeon General has determined that<insert activity> can cause Cancer, Liver and Lung Disease, Miscarriages, Unwanted Pregnancies, Low Sperm Counts, Brain Tissue Damage, Muscular Dystrophy, Forgetfulness, Left-Leg Paralysis, Internal Hemorrhaging, Geekiness, Carbohydrates Deficiency, Negligence, Slow Motioness, Bureaucracy, Deforestation, Sexual Atrocities, Lack of Personality, Inflation, Heavy Machinery Malfunction, Anaphora, Plagiarism, Lying-to-Congress Disease, Gerrymandering, Incrimination, Schwa Deletion, Non-Confirmation Syndrome, Defenestration, Illiteracy, Sarcasm, Broccoli Overcooking, Frequent Defecation, Gossiping, Getting-Laid-on-the-First-Date Syndrome, Mass Extinction, Ozone Depletion, Global Warming, Gas Leaks, Hailstorms, Arms Race, Legs Race, Gender Confusion, Transexualism, Misunderstandings, Gibberish, Boredom, Nausea, Vomiting, Hyperbation, Hyperbole, Manuscript Loss, Anarchism, Liposuction, Unsuccessful Barbecuing, Gargling, BONKing, Mavisms, Talking-in-Third-Person Syndrome, Limosine Overcrowding, Elevator Stalling, Messianism, Low Scoring on Standardized Tests, PBS Pledging, PTA Joining, PTL Propaganda, S&L Bailouts, Deficit Spending, BL&T Indigestion, Armpit Enlargement, Proletarianization, Antidisestablismenterianism, Panic, Disillusionment, Asymmetrical Twins, Appointment Cancellation, Foreplay Disruption, Stuttering, Dogmatism, Bath Tub Clogging, Eviction, Infant Mortality, Cryptorchitis, Shistosomaisis, Nepotism, Baldness, Bad Spelling, Maximum Verbosity, and General Failure in Life. 
-sam

_________________
"You think you can but sometimes that is the problem"
This message was edited by  -sam on 2003-02-11 11:29


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## Todd Bardoni (Feb 11, 2003)

Speaking of conspiracies, Paul McCartney is dead.
http://www.geocities.com/SunsetStrip/3674/pid.html


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