# Please click here ... THE ENTIRE STORY in one message



## erik.van.geit (Oct 1, 2005)

Would you like to continue the story which already takes 11 htmlpages (when writing this)?
Find it below whithout having to scroll for each sentence.
*FIRST PAGE*
Please click HERE to continue this story....... 
(see other link at botton of this thread)
*PLEASE don't reply to this thread*

each post will contain several pages of the original
phantom1975 started with:
*Alrighty, I haven't seen one of these around here in a while, so I figured that I would get one started. You are limited to 15 words and must start where the last word left off. *


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## erik.van.geit (Oct 3, 2005)

1
It was a dark and stormy night. Like a nightmare, a dangerous pack of rabbits......
... kidnapped Billy and forced him to post this message in the lounge area at MrExcel.
It wasn't long before Billy began to realise that this wasnt the first time......
he'd go to Vegas and get busted throwing a flaming couch out...
...of a ladies bedroom. One of these days he would learn that you had to...
...give the lemur a pickle to show it you were friendly. In the meantime…
he has to learn to balance the property of others with the inevitability of ending up in a cell , or...
...he might end up LEFT at the Elvis Wedding Chapel of Love...
...having to choos ebetween Thelma and Louise, for better or...
... Not better, for now he must split in order to join ...
2
....the one and only TRUE group of SMALL MOD CUSTOM cars to FIND...
.....the Holy Grail of of kitchen appliances, the George Foreman....
... Blow Up Doll, in an apron, size XL .
However - as a software man he had no idea how to plug it in, so...
... he contacted the nearest expert, who happened to be...
Phantom 1975.
....Now, it is impotant to realise that phantom1975 is a distant relation to....
The boy who used Mouth Words, just like the voices had told him.
He watched his trusty pet ConCat Repeat the Fatal Error of the Dog who had..
smiled a little to close at the wild and untammed totally ferrocious but polite...
3
.....golden gerbil of the purple painted pygmy tribe from........
1582 Coronation Street, Heckmondwike, West Yorkshire, England, Great Britain. The World, The Universe, BD18 5QR....
...so it fell to Billy to find a sauce that went with gerbils....
realizing that KC BBQ sauce was the best in the world, but
...where can one find sauce like this so late at night? Perhaps the wise and mystical.......
Harry GerbilCooker would know, so he...
hopped in his red 1973 Ford Pinto and headed for...
...a small town just south of Harry's Gerbil Farm, near....
Brighton - home of the famous "World's best BBQ'd duck feet" - but halfway there...
...a wheel spun off his car, crossed the road, and flew...
4
right in the middle of a Paris-like bistro, where...
....it smashed through the dining room and into the kitchen causing...
...the pan containing the gerbill sauce to fly into the air and...
...shower down upon the freshly baked loaves sitting warm on the make line...
Now, I know what you are thinking....a little blood never hurt anyone....
Until it's your own and there's a gerbil lodged in you ear...
But that is why they invented the plunger: to...
remove gerbill sauce from places where other things will not go, speaking of other places......
Do you know the way to Amarillo, where ..
...that damned song is the only thing that can be heard, except for...
5
the mournful wailing of lost souls waiting for the no 39 bus, in ......
Dublin, the city known throughout the world for fresh...
herring sticks. Will's penguin merrily ordered another basket and pint o' Guinness, turned to an auburn-tressed lass and said
"Oh! Fair damsel! I'd write you an Opus, but that damned Breathed's got it copyrighted!"
So, instead of the Opus, how about you and I...
sit in my car and listen to "Coast-to-Coast AM". I hear that George...
would go for the alien herring sticks, but wouldn't Art Bell & Commander Thorne... 
...Be on to us if we did that?
Gauging the look on her face, I immediately suspected that.......
the handcuffs and riding crop might be used tonight, and then .....


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## erik.van.geit (Nov 8, 2005)

6
Opus and Portnoy waddled in wearing black chaps & vests. "You found my crop!" exclaimed Opus.
"The entire harvest from my 40 acres of cornfields. I thought forever lost!"
The room paused at the play on words and then...
,before anyone could say a word, a fire broke out in the ...
in the wastebin directly behind Opus. Portnoy quaffed and quipped "Smitty's chili recipe, I see."
Just then the sound of a fire engine jars the group - and firefytr arrives just in time to...
....play that funky music like the white boy he is. Given his physical condition, you would never suspect that he would be able to......
Play that funky music while putting out a fire. Meanwhile...
back at the cabin...
lunch was being prepared. "Wait!", said...
7
"Wait!", said Smitty "who put these herring sticks in my...
chili! Will's penguin looked as sheepish as a penguin can as he skulked out the door. A rumbling shook the cabin as
an F14 flew overhead. "Now why can't I fly like that?", thought Will's penguin. Just Then...
....a buck naked Oompa Loompa rode by on a tricycle and smacked Will on the butt. Now I know what you are thinking.....
because I'm psychic, but that Oompa Loompa should have the seat put back on his tricycle before...
....he decided to make it into modern art. To say the very least the critics were...
generous to call it "progressive". But who could fustigate an Oompa Loompa standing starkers in front of you? Indeed, the gallery owner
refrained from this course of action. However as it brought the punters in in droves he decided to increase the gallery opening hours and ..
with that he headed off to McDonald's for a Big Mac Meal (super-sized of course) knowing full well that...
it was Fish Filet Friday, he ordered four.
8
... As he was stuffing his face, he noticed a beautiful woman who...
...hadn't noticed him - although she was busy stuffing her face with Friday Fish Filets. She had ordered five. Strangely enough...
she had brought along her own bottle of tarter sauce.
She also added vinegar. But observant person that she is, she knew the smell was
alluring to amorous penguins and Oompa Loompas alike, so she used it sparingly. At the McD's counter a scuffle
occured between the fry guy and the manager.
The old lady at the counter started screaming, "Why...
is there a dangerous pack of rabbits wreaking havoc in the playplace?!" Two dozen gerbils suddenly
scurried through the large plastic globe and slid down the big slide while singing...
... "Hi-ho, hi-ho, it's off to work we go!" Because, unbeknownst to anyone, the gerbils were actually ...
9
....the Thunder Cats in disguise!! "Robble, robble", said the Hamburgler as the Thunder Cats....
dazzled the crowd that had gather outside the cafe... only to be mistaken for
... the Rolling Stones. "Boy, they sure do look *old*! And shrunken ... " said the stranger who happened to pass by on his way to ...
the Wayne Newton concert at the local Elks Club when ...
he heard the squeal of tires and smelled burning rubber. Oh no, it's...
Grimace and he's drunk again!
He's been putting Creme de Menthe in the Shamrock Shakes again and...
we've got drunken Oompa Loompas & Leprechauns squaring off against a pack of rabbits and gerbils the Thundercats in a game of
British Bulldog, and my money's on the rodents! What happened to the Thundercats Ho?
Everyone paused and wondered, 'what exactly is a "British bulldog" in this context?'. Anyhoo, the inner monologue was disrupted by...
10
....the juicy sound of flatulance! It's pungent aroma can only be described as......
... a near-death experience. 
Phantom1975! (imagine that) Seems he's used to living with that smell. After all...
... until recently, upon his unlikely union with a member of the opposite sex, he'd rarely had use for toiletries and hygiene.
Why, even large scab-filled rodents would run screaming at his approach, much like the response Barrie has when ...
looking in the mirror in the morning and realizing...
I'll never be able to figure out how Aladin comes up with those formulae (always thinking Excel, I'm pathetic!). Oh well, there's always late night...
on the Shopping Network. He had been saving for six months to buy...
Phantom a Christmas basket with some beano, soap on a rope, a boxed set of Thundercats DVD's and the latest CD from guitar maestro Esteban, whom Phantom listens to while
... wondering if Esteban and Zorro are, in fact, one and the same person. While lost in thought he did not notice ...
.. the boss creap up behind him. A gentle tap on the shoulder caused him to..


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## erik.van.geit (Nov 8, 2005)

11
defecate and urinate simultaneously. "Great! Another pair of underwear lost", he thought. "Hey boss...
mind if I go home a little early?" He pleaded. "In a few hours" his boss replied.
But I have an emergency he said
His boss begins to retort, "like the time Harley-riding Oompa..." -- but Hans Blix & Donny Rumsfield burst into the room; take one deep whiff and proclaim
"wEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION! "
A considerable amount of time and effort goes into the search. BD refuses to let HB & Co on his property! Even though he knows that the WoMaD are there HB is forced to report that there is no evidence that they actually exist. They leave the room..
... only to discover "We're not in Kansas anymore, Toto!" At which point there was an ear-piercing scream, which could only mean ...
that the Shamrock-shake-besotted Oompa Loompas had sent a raiding party into Munchkin Land. The head of the MM (Munchkin Militia) quickly...
stepped to the left, stepping on a small natterjack toad that had been sleeping nearby......
....causing Emperor Mini Me to exclaim, "Let's do the time warp again!" Suddenly every person young and old, short and tall began to.....
12
...count backwards in integer time from TODAY() to Zero... this was gonna take some time thought Mini-Me...
.. but he never finished the though as he was walking across the road he was hit by a passing car; he was never seen by the driver. He was rushed to the hospital, but never made it. The Doctor said ...
"If only the emperor had known that you don't give a pickle to a lemur to show it you're friendly; you use pickles for wombats. To show a lemur you're friendly you..."
tickle the underside of its...
... little pink uvula.
but the doctor being too embarrassed to continue (and too embarrassed to ask what that was), he thought better of it, and decided to
Quit to save the munchkins from the raiding Harley riding oompa-lompas, by arming them with squirty ketchup bottles from th local greasy spoon.
... which was a well-known eatery on the shady-side of the tracks, know for its endless servings of spam, spam, and - oh by the way - more spam. Hence the origin of the munchkin phrase ...
Just follow that yellow brick... road. We're off to eat the dinner, the wonderful dinner of Spam.
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If ever a yummy dinner there was, Spam's the most wonderful dinner there is!" The Munchkin Militia had broken into song (bad habit of theirs). The rousing chorus was interrupted as the leader of the Oompa Loompa raiders
who said: "I spam, therefore I am." 
Well, nobody ever accused the Oompa Loompa of deep thinking, although - it's a little known fact - they are the very best in the world at ...
ping pong. Surprisingly enough, they are just tall enough to stand a full head above the table, and giving them an advantage to see the ball more readily. But the problem is ...
lip splinters.
Which helps explain the bizarre Oompa Loompa mating ritual of ...
..."tipping the spam". But the less said about that the better, because...
that leads to tipping others things, like the outhouse, and of course...
cow tipping. Speaking of cows...
... the "tipping the cow" ritual has long been considered a customary type of 'rite of passage' for the Oompa's. Also, as part of this passage, it is necessary to ...
to become one with the cow, by spending 7 days living as a cow within the herd....
14
and what between hungry calves looking for dinner and ardent bulls, being "a cow in the herd" ain't as easy as you might think; yet it was still better than the Munchkins' rite of passage which involved...
reciting the bloodless oath backwards in Latin while drinking from a yard glass, all the while bungy-jumping from...
However once you have achieved cow-oneness you are granted certain cow-powers, among them the ability to...
... create lots of methane, which always comes in handy wen you're ...
.. in thick bovine traffic, clearing the path without much effort. But the downside is ..
the PETA members who are picketing us for contributing to the greenhouse effect.
Now I know you're thinking "Where did I put that...
spatula? I had it when I was making flapjacks this morning; when our camp was attacked by...
... a herd of pygmy unicorns, who are always in a snit having spent all their lives being mistaken for thumbtacks.
posterior?! Why there was a time when we got RESPECT. But now people just look at us and say...
15
"Ha, Ha, Ha! You've got to be kidding!!!" On the other hand that is better than the little yellow ...
... letters in the snow, written by the very clever [ and tri-dexterous ] rabbits whith which we started this story!
Ahh yes, the rabbits .... One named dementia, he had just began to tell the story of
the terrible two headed dog boy from canada. It all started deep in the heart of toronto...
while I was walking down Young street, near the CN tower....
reminiscing about the good old days when the Argonauts...
... were getting the living *crap* beat outta them by my old high-school friend Condredge Holloway, who once told me that it got so cold in Edmonton one time they almost froze their ...
... tongues to their poutine. It was such a horrific day in Canadian history. Many remember, but most try to forget. But that's not quite as bad as ...
the time Holloway woke up one day only to relalize that a trecherous band of one eyed
fans from Regina - home of the "mighty" Roughriders - were waiting to ... 
JJ - I remember Mr. Holloway!


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## erik.van.geit (Dec 11, 2005)

16 (incomplete)
... meet Teddy Roosevelt, after whom they [ thought ] they were named! 
Unbeknownst to them, though, it was ...
TheBuGz, who has nothing to do but to bug others.

continue (first check for new posts)


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